Anonymous
11/29/2014 22:35
Subject: Grandparents conplaining toddler sleeping too much?
Anonymous wrote:Why not be a little more flexible on special occasions? Can't you just put DS down at 2 after lunch at diner at 12? Who eats lunch at 11:30? I think you are being overly rigid OP. You know your DS will sleep well so why not let him participate for a while? Same with TGDinner. Your inlaws are responding to the inflexibility they are seeing in you and DH.
Finally - the voice of reason!
Anonymous
11/29/2014 22:14
Subject: Grandparents conplaining toddler sleeping too much?
Are you sure he's actually asleep that whole time at night? Can't remember where I read it, but some study found that a number of kids with 'high' sleep needs were actually awake for portions of that night time sleep, but their parents weren't aware of it because they would talk to themselves / play happily in their bed without waking others up. I've never experienced that - both my kids have let you know he second they were awake! - but I've seen it in other peoples kids.
Anonymous
11/29/2014 22:00
Subject: Grandparents conplaining toddler sleeping too much?
He's a little kid and little people can vary widely in how much sleep they need. Your inlaws are asshats. For me, kids needs come first (i'm talking-sleep, eating, quiet time, etc). I would say they come first because I am a selfless parent but no, they come first because when I don't prioritize their needs I have kids that are on the verge of a meltdown.
Anonymous
11/29/2014 20:27
Subject: Grandparents conplaining toddler sleeping too much?
Anonymous wrote:I'd be somewhat concerned about a 2.5 year old who is only awake 7 hours a day; that's a lot of time with respect to interaction and skill development that he's missing that others aren't. Does he eat 3 meals in the 7 hours he's awake plus get adequate hydration? I'd go back to the ped -- and if you're in a group practice, I'd go to a different one -- just in case they have a different thought than the first one. I would make a separate appointment for this. If you ask this during a regular sick visit or at the end of a well visit -- they are more likely to say "oh his bloodwork is fine, you're lucky." With a separate appointment, they can address (new) bloodwork; if nothing is wrong, talk with them about how to shorten the sleep cycle or at least make him a bit more flexible. If everything is fine and he doesn't walk himself to bed, why not just keep him up a bit later each afternoon and wake him up a bit earlier? I'm thinking taking 15 min off the beginning and the end the first week, and then work up to more time in later weeks.
Does he go to daycare/have a nanny -- what do they think? If you don't start addressing this now, preschool may be a struggle -- at most preschools they get 1-2 hrs to nap/rest max; if he can't function on less than 4-5, he'll be sleeping most of the school day away.
What a completely bizarre suggestion to force a 2.5 year old to sleep less. Depriving him of the sleep he needs is much more harmful than anything else.
Anonymous
11/29/2014 19:25
Subject: Grandparents conplaining toddler sleeping too much?
I'd be somewhat concerned about a 2.5 year old who is only awake 7 hours a day; that's a lot of time with respect to interaction and skill development that he's missing that others aren't. Does he eat 3 meals in the 7 hours he's awake plus get adequate hydration? I'd go back to the ped -- and if you're in a group practice, I'd go to a different one -- just in case they have a different thought than the first one. I would make a separate appointment for this. If you ask this during a regular sick visit or at the end of a well visit -- they are more likely to say "oh his bloodwork is fine, you're lucky." With a separate appointment, they can address (new) bloodwork; if nothing is wrong, talk with them about how to shorten the sleep cycle or at least make him a bit more flexible. If everything is fine and he doesn't walk himself to bed, why not just keep him up a bit later each afternoon and wake him up a bit earlier? I'm thinking taking 15 min off the beginning and the end the first week, and then work up to more time in later weeks.
Does he go to daycare/have a nanny -- what do they think? If you don't start addressing this now, preschool may be a struggle -- at most preschools they get 1-2 hrs to nap/rest max; if he can't function on less than 4-5, he'll be sleeping most of the school day away.
Does he go to daycare/have a nanny -- what do they think? If you don't start addressing this now, preschool may be a struggle -- at most preschools they get 1-2 hrs to nap/rest max; if he can't function on less than 4-5, he'll be sleeping most of the school day away.
Anonymous
11/29/2014 18:57
Subject: Grandparents conplaining toddler sleeping too much?
I have twin preschoolers. They both still nap daily for at least 2 hours, one of them for sometimes as much as 3+ hours.
If your child is healthy and happy, and you have a schedule that you know works for your family and keeps everyone healthy and happy, and the pediatrician sees absolutely nothing wrong, then you just need to feel confident that you know what's best.
My family (and in-laws etc...) have all had to come to terms with the fact that the kids' schedule rules our days. They often do not like the fact that we either can't join them for meal, or dinners are arranged around naps, or whatever. But it works for us and I stand my ground.
Don't second guess yourself. Your child, your family, your rules.
If your child is healthy and happy, and you have a schedule that you know works for your family and keeps everyone healthy and happy, and the pediatrician sees absolutely nothing wrong, then you just need to feel confident that you know what's best.
My family (and in-laws etc...) have all had to come to terms with the fact that the kids' schedule rules our days. They often do not like the fact that we either can't join them for meal, or dinners are arranged around naps, or whatever. But it works for us and I stand my ground.
Don't second guess yourself. Your child, your family, your rules.
Anonymous
11/29/2014 15:50
Subject: Grandparents conplaining toddler sleeping too much?
DD did not stop her morning nap until 21mths. After that she went from two 1.5 hour naps to one 3-4 hour nap. She completely stopped napping at 4.
Anonymous
11/29/2014 15:23
Subject: Grandparents conplaining toddler sleeping too much?
If your asked the doctor at your son's 18 month check up and he's now 2.5, it's been a year. I think inquiring again is a good idea. And then you can tell the ILs that the pediatrician approved his bap schedule.
Anonymous
11/29/2014 11:14
Subject: Grandparents conplaining toddler sleeping too much?
How do you reduce nap times for a child who still naps without having all hell break loose? If a child needs to sleep, he/she needs to sleep.
Anonymous
11/29/2014 10:38
Subject: Re:Grandparents conplaining toddler sleeping too much?
Taking your child to the doctor for lab tests is a good idea.
Reducing nap times so that your son can participate in family activities would be more considerate. Expecting your family members to schedule holiday activities around your son's sleep schedule does seem rather rigid.
Anonymous
11/29/2014 10:31
Subject: Re:Grandparents conplaining toddler sleeping too much?
That's a lot of sleep for a kid that age (both of my kids had given up their naps by that age, and slept about 12 hours at night), but I wouldn't go running to the doctor for it. None of us are actually there observing what's going on, so no one is really in a place to say there's anything wrong.
On the in-law issue, though, I think there's room for both sides to be more flexible/accommodating. Your in-laws need to accept that this is your child's routine, and it's not the end of the world if he sleeps through dinner. You also need to accept that everyone else's social plans won't revolve around your child's sleep routine, and it's not the end of the world if he sleeps through dinner.
On the in-law issue, though, I think there's room for both sides to be more flexible/accommodating. Your in-laws need to accept that this is your child's routine, and it's not the end of the world if he sleeps through dinner. You also need to accept that everyone else's social plans won't revolve around your child's sleep routine, and it's not the end of the world if he sleeps through dinner.
Anonymous
11/29/2014 10:30
Subject: Grandparents conplaining toddler sleeping too much?
Why not be a little more flexible on special occasions? Can't you just put DS down at 2 after lunch at diner at 12? Who eats lunch at 11:30? I think you are being overly rigid OP. You know your DS will sleep well so why not let him participate for a while? Same with TGDinner. Your inlaws are responding to the inflexibility they are seeing in you and DH.
Anonymous
11/29/2014 10:13
Subject: Grandparents conplaining toddler sleeping too much?
Op, think about what you are doing . You have already gotten a clean bill of health for your son including his sleep being fine .
Now your in laws have made some comments about it because it interferes with their weekend , so you turned to anonymous internet people for advice
You are now going to take a well child to the MD office during the height of cold and flu season. I don't cRe about sick and well waiting rooms , it is a hotbed of germs any way you look at it
This is an in law issue , not a child health issue
Now your in laws have made some comments about it because it interferes with their weekend , so you turned to anonymous internet people for advice
You are now going to take a well child to the MD office during the height of cold and flu season. I don't cRe about sick and well waiting rooms , it is a hotbed of germs any way you look at it
This is an in law issue , not a child health issue
Anonymous
11/29/2014 10:09
Subject: Grandparents conplaining toddler sleeping too much?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:That's a lot of sleep! I could see how it would be annoying trying to plan around a 4 hour nap. My 2 year old sleeps 11-12 hours a night and naps 1-2 hours during the day. Have you talked to your ped? Does your child have healthy iron levels.
We talked to the Pediatrician at his 18 month check up sincs DS was still taking 2 naps a day at that point which we know was a little unusual. We also asked about his iron levels- which were fine. He's always slept for about 16-17 hours a day. I am guessing my in-laws expected him to start needing less sleep?
I've always required a great deal of sleep so I don't find it unusual that DS does as well.
So you have gotten a clean bill of health from your doctor . You don't need your in laws or anonymous internet people to guess if he's getting enough sleep or too much sleep , or if his health is ok
What you do need is some encouragement and solutions for maintaining your child nap and dealing with the grandparents . Perhaps a polite " I don't want to discuss this in front of DC, so this will be the last time we tell you his sleep is fine per his medical doctor , as well as his health ." Preferably coming from your husband
Anonymous
11/29/2014 09:59
Subject: Grandparents conplaining toddler sleeping too much?
Anonymous wrote:OP again- Based on the responses, I will call the doctor next week and ask if they think it warrants a sick visit, but I don't think I will tell my in-laws till I hear what the doctor has to say.
Just to be clear- DS napping during a 2pm dinner and 1pm get together didn't affect my in-laws plans. DS just happened to be sleeping in the guest room during the events. DH amd I actually had a chance to eat rather than chase a VERY active toddler around. Plus we did wake him to see the our of town visitors at 4pm.
Your doing fine and it sounds like your DS is too. Try to keep this in perspective, as frustrating and annoying as it is. Unfortunately, family members often feel entitled to wiegh in on what you "should" be doing about this or that. It's your perogative to ignore.