Anonymous
Post 11/29/2014 13:43     Subject: Families and Pets - would you say something or avoid situation?
We have gone to a lot of family functions (both sides) where often multiple dogs have been present. I guess we're all dog people. Even the ones that don't have dogs now at least like dogs. So dogs at family get togethers are the norm for us. Not all people feel comfortable boarding and/or they can't afford to board their animals. They may only be able to travel for a visit if they can bring their dogs with them.

As long as the dogs aren't having accidents, chewing on the furniture or otherwise being problematic - we enjoy their company.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2014 13:43     Subject: Families and Pets - would you say something or avoid situation?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The owner of the doodle needed to take the young barking jumping dog for a run. We have one of those, and she rarely have any trouble in those years because we would make sure she stayed good and tired whenever there was company coming. We also crate trained her.


This is a good idea but I have to side with the person who said there's no reason for dog owners to bring their dog if there are going to be a lot of guests present,some of whom don't like dogs.


Again, this is up to the homeowner. In our family, gatherings can and often have included 15 - 18 people and 5 dogs. Two cats, too. Our dog didn't handle it well when he was younger so we would either kennel him or have someone else look after him while the house was full. That was for his well being.

OP in the future ask if there will be any other dogs there, so you can then decide your own course of action. You can't decide whether or not other people bring their dogs you can only decide whether or not to take your son into that situation.



If a guest expresses that they are uncomfortable or their child is uncomfortable around dogs wouldn't the host be considerate and put their dog in a another room and ask others not to bring their pets? The host doesn't have to do it, but wouldn't manners put human guests before dog visitors?


Yes. We've done it. Not everyone would. (My SIL would simply tell you that if you don't like her dog you can go to another room. If she was asked to put the dog somewhere else she would ignore it.)

OP can only make decisions for herself and her family. My oldest had severe asthma and was badly affected by cigarette smoke. SIL (same one with the dog above) thought we were being overly dramatic. We made decisions that were best for him, and sometimes that meant not visiting at SIL's or leaving after not being there for long. I would do the same with a child who is very afraid of dogs.

OP, if you come back I am curious.. was the golden doodle moved to another room? Did you ask for that dog to be moved?
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2014 13:33     Subject: Families and Pets - would you say something or avoid situation?
Anonymous wrote:I have never before heard of leaching a dog to a sofa. I can't even picture how that is done.
I had a hard time visualizing it as well, but my guess is the couch has a wood frame or wood legs and the loop end of the leash was stuck under the wood leg or looped through a wood arm or something.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2014 13:24     Subject: Families and Pets - would you say something or avoid situation?
I have never before heard of leaching a dog to a sofa. I can't even picture how that is done.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2014 13:20     Subject: Families and Pets - would you say something or avoid situation?
^ I would be sad if some of my guests couldn't come because other guests insisted they bring their pets.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2014 13:20     Subject: Families and Pets - would you say something or avoid situation?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The owner of the doodle needed to take the young barking jumping dog for a run. We have one of those, and she rarely have any trouble in those years because we would make sure she stayed good and tired whenever there was company coming. We also crate trained her.


This is a good idea but I have to side with the person who said there's no reason for dog owners to bring their dog if there are going to be a lot of guests present,some of whom don't like dogs.


Again, this is up to the homeowner. In our family, gatherings can and often have included 15 - 18 people and 5 dogs. Two cats, too. Our dog didn't handle it well when he was younger so we would either kennel him or have someone else look after him while the house was full. That was for his well being.

OP in the future ask if there will be any other dogs there, so you can then decide your own course of action. You can't decide whether or not other people bring their dogs you can only decide whether or not to take your son into that situation.



If a guest expresses that they are uncomfortable or their child is uncomfortable around dogs wouldn't the host be considerate and put their dog in a another room and ask others not to bring their pets? The host doesn't have to do it, but wouldn't manners put human guests before dog visitors?
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2014 12:57     Subject: Families and Pets - would you say something or avoid situation?
Anonymous wrote:I have a child who is afraid of dogs. We are working on this - but right now he is afraid of dogs.

2 of my brothers have dogs. Brother #1 has an older lab that just hangs out. Brother #2 has a high energy Goldendoodle.
Thanksgiving was at the house with the older lab. We had worked with my son a lot over the last week to prepare him to be in the house with the dog. We reminded him that the dog is friendly, although it is big does not jump etc. In addition over the last week my son had spoken with his Aunt about the dog and she assured him of his calm demeanor.

We get to Thanksgiving yesterday and greeted by the barking of the goldendoodle who is leashed to the sofa. My child now has the death grip on me and does not relax all day. It was exhausting. My SIL who was hosting said that she forgot to mention the dog was coming. I am shocked that she forgot to mention it given that we discussed her dog multiple times over the last week with my son. I was not in an environment to discuss it with my SIL yesterday since there were no private places for conversations.

Would you let it go or bring it up?




You should have asked them to put the dog in a another room. Even dog lovers don't want some hyper thing in their house as a guest. Who ties some out of control thing to a sofa at another's house? Compliment the Lab bro/SIL on their dog and the Lab's behavior not only at this age but ever since you met the dog. Be effusive. Ask your brother and SIL with the Lab about the golden doodle's behavior then ask when they found out the poorly behaved golden doodle was coming.

Unless those dogs know each other it's really dicey to bring one to another's house. They should have put it in a room or a crate since it was so poorly behaved it couldn't walk around the house.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2014 12:48     Subject: Families and Pets - would you say something or avoid situation?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why this is on your SIL when it's your brother's dog. Doesn't your brother know your son is scared of his dog?

+1

And OP, you must be more proactive and speak to both households prior to the event.



+2 Speak to your brothers. They don't get a pass because they are guys.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2014 12:17     Subject: Families and Pets - would you say something or avoid situation?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The owner of the doodle needed to take the young barking jumping dog for a run. We have one of those, and she rarely have any trouble in those years because we would make sure she stayed good and tired whenever there was company coming. We also crate trained her.


This is a good idea but I have to side with the person who said there's no reason for dog owners to bring their dog if there are going to be a lot of guests present,some of whom don't like dogs.


Again, this is up to the homeowner. In our family, gatherings can and often have included 15 - 18 people and 5 dogs. Two cats, too. Our dog didn't handle it well when he was younger so we would either kennel him or have someone else look after him while the house was full. That was for his well being.

OP in the future ask if there will be any other dogs there, so you can then decide your own course of action. You can't decide whether or not other people bring their dogs you can only decide whether or not to take your son into that situation.

Anonymous
Post 11/29/2014 08:44     Subject: Families and Pets - would you say something or avoid situation?
Anonymous wrote:The owner of the doodle needed to take the young barking jumping dog for a run. We have one of those, and she rarely have any trouble in those years because we would make sure she stayed good and tired whenever there was company coming. We also crate trained her.


This is a good idea but I have to side with the person who said there's no reason for dog owners to bring their dog if there are going to be a lot of guests present,some of whom don't like dogs.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2014 08:30     Subject: Families and Pets - would you say something or avoid situation?
The owner of the doodle needed to take the young barking jumping dog for a run. We have one of those, and she rarely have any trouble in those years because we would make sure she stayed good and tired whenever there was company coming. We also crate trained her.
Anonymous
Post 11/29/2014 08:27     Subject: Families and Pets - would you say something or avoid situation?
Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why this is on your SIL when it's your brother's dog. Doesn't your brother know your son is scared of his dog?

+1

And OP, you must be more proactive and speak to both households prior to the event.

Anonymous
Post 11/28/2014 20:48     Subject: Families and Pets - would you say something or avoid situation?
their = there.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2014 20:47     Subject: Families and Pets - would you say something or avoid situation?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am not sure what's more annoying... Dog people who take their dogs everywhere regardless of other people's wishes, or people who have irrational fears and can't relax. I'd have probably silently removed the dog and either put it outside or in the garage. Is anyone asked I'd have reminded them about our repeated conversations regarding what dogs would be present. It really sounds like a pissing match with the dog owner wanting to be an asshole dog owner.


Where in the world do you come up with that?

OP, you could mention it now. It might be better though to ask next time who else will be there with dogs.

I tend to agree that the dog was leashed, and your ds could have been told to avoid that area. Not ideal for your ds but it wasn't your house.. sometimes you have to improvise.
because normal people don't take their dogs to other people's houses, especially for a holiday when there's going to be extra people and commotion. And normal people don't take there dogs to other people's houses when they know there'sa child there who's afraid of dog. It's a control thing, or a thoughtless asshole thing.


A control thing? Oh... right.

Perhaps it's "normal" for this family to bring their dogs to family gatherings. You don't know that it was against the homeowner's wishes. Nobody else needs to give permission.

OP's SIL should have let her know the dog would be there, or had been brought their. OP could then have decided whether or not to be there as well.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2014 20:39     Subject: Families and Pets - would you say something or avoid situation?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am not sure what's more annoying... Dog people who take their dogs everywhere regardless of other people's wishes, or people who have irrational fears and can't relax. I'd have probably silently removed the dog and either put it outside or in the garage. Is anyone asked I'd have reminded them about our repeated conversations regarding what dogs would be present. It really sounds like a pissing match with the dog owner wanting to be an asshole dog owner.


Where in the world do you come up with that?

OP, you could mention it now. It might be better though to ask next time who else will be there with dogs.

I tend to agree that the dog was leashed, and your ds could have been told to avoid that area. Not ideal for your ds but it wasn't your house.. sometimes you have to improvise.
because normal people don't take their dogs to other people's houses, especially for a holiday when there's going to be extra people and commotion. And normal people don't take there dogs to other people's houses when they know there'sa child there who's afraid of dog. It's a control thing, or a thoughtless asshole thing.