Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We put off going on meds after getting the diagnosis because I didn't think it necessary (yet) and I was concerned about the side effects, primarily on appetite and sleep. We finally went on meds when it was clear that she wasn't learning as much as she should be despite many, many accommodations. We haven't experienced any side effects and two days after starting meds she started to read for the first time.

For us, meds were a total win-win and I regret not doing it earlier.

You haven't experienced any side effects that you know about now. And for your child's sake, I hope that continues to be the case.

These medications have been around for a few decades and are not some new unknown treatment option. I've seen here and on other listservs the rather (in my view) extreme lengths that parents will go to avoid medication. Basically, our rule of thumb is evidence for effectiveness. Very few people whose kids have ADHD just throw meds at them -- studies have shown that the most effective treatment is medication+therapy. There is no evidence that radical diet changes or vitamins make a difference - but parents like these in many cases because 1) they seem natural and/or 2) parents LIKE being able to control their kids' diets (in this area, sugar is considered virtually a crime...)

The main reason parents resort to medication is indeed school-related. Their kids are floundering. In many cases, they've been floundering for a long time and it feels like there is not time to waste. I know we felt that way (DS also has LD's and some anxiety)

Anonymous wrote:We put off going on meds after getting the diagnosis because I didn't think it necessary (yet) and I was concerned about the side effects, primarily on appetite and sleep. We finally went on meds when it was clear that she wasn't learning as much as she should be despite many, many accommodations. We haven't experienced any side effects and two days after starting meds she started to read for the first time.

For us, meds were a total win-win and I regret not doing it earlier.

You haven't experienced any side effects that you know about now. And for your child's sake, I hope that continues to be the case.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I think it's because taking the meds amounts to admitting their child has actual issues and just isn't brilliant and bored and if they teacher just realized their kid's brilliance, blah, blah, blah.

I think parents who rely on meds as their first option are lazy and aren't up to parenting a creative, smart kid with behavior challenges.

I am an adult with ADD whose mother had a sanctimonious smug attitude just like yours. Unfortunately for me and your kid, ADD is a neurological condition, not an excess of creativity or intelligence, and no amount of super sanctimommy "parenting" will rewire the brain. Would you try to "parent" the diabetes out of your kid?

Medications have completely changed my life and I will never forgive my mom for prioritizing her sanctimony over my need to function. But hey, she was able to tell the other mommies exactly what you've said above... Hope it was worth it for her.

YES, YES, YES. Me too x1000.

I'm glad things are working out for you and obviously I don't know whether your mother "prioritized her sanctimony" over your need to function.

But as to the general issue it ought to be recognized that there is another side to these choices. Two points:
1) Changing one's brain chemistry with pharmaceuticals is a very serious step, and
2) Adverse side effects of medications are often not fully understood until decades after their beneficial effects are.

I have a nephew who was put on meds in childhood and over time and sustained use his personality tangibly changed to become much more negative, he has developed a lot of GI issues and a persistent ringing in his ears. He blames the meds for this (rightly or wrongly) and is just as angry with his parents as you are with your mother, for putting him on drugs when he was too young to object.

Just as you feel your mother was prioritizing your sanctimony over your needs, there are plenty of parents who worry that by putting their kids on meds they are doing what is convenient for the adult world rather than what is necessarily in the best interests of the child.

I'm sure parents make mistakes both ways, but if they made the wrong call it doesn't necessarily mean they weren't doing their level best for the child.

No, no, no. You are being far too reasonable. It's against the rules of DCUM to say that every parent has to weigh the cost-benefit analysis for their child and decide what works best. If someone isn't giving their child meds, clearly that mom is doing it wrong for her own sick emotional need to feel like she is a better mom than PP. That can only be cured by bashing any parent who doesn't choose meds for their kid.

Anonymous wrote:We put off going on meds after getting the diagnosis because I didn't think it necessary (yet) and I was concerned about the side effects, primarily on appetite and sleep. We finally went on meds when it was clear that she wasn't learning as much as she should be despite many, many accommodations. We haven't experienced any side effects and two days after starting meds she started to read for the first time.

For us, meds were a total win-win and I regret not doing it earlier.

I could have written this post. We did therapy and CBT for one year and finally started meds. Holy cow, what a difference. She is a happier, sunnier, more positive person now. She's not so afraid to try things and her self esteem is improving because she - for the very first time - knows what's going on in school. She is focused and calmer and clearer.

I asked my 10 year old the other day how the medication made her feel and she said "More focused." I said "What does that mean?" She said "I just get things better now." I said "How is it different - didn't it feel normal before?" and she said "Before, I always felt normal. And then I started my pills and realized that what I had always thought was normal wasn't normal at all. NOW I feel normal."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I think it's because taking the meds amounts to admitting their child has actual issues and just isn't brilliant and bored and if they teacher just realized their kid's brilliance, blah, blah, blah.

I think parents who rely on meds as their first option are lazy and aren't up to parenting a creative, smart kid with behavior challenges.

I am an adult with ADD whose mother had a sanctimonious smug attitude just like yours. Unfortunately for me and your kid, ADD is a neurological condition, not an excess of creativity or intelligence, and no amount of super sanctimommy "parenting" will rewire the brain. Would you try to "parent" the diabetes out of your kid?

Medications have completely changed my life and I will never forgive my mom for prioritizing her sanctimony over my need to function. But hey, she was able to tell the other mommies exactly what you've said above... Hope it was worth it for her.

YES, YES, YES. Me too x1000.

I'm glad things are working out for you and obviously I don't know whether your mother "prioritized her sanctimony" over your need to function.

But as to the general issue it ought to be recognized that there is another side to these choices. Two points:
1) Changing one's brain chemistry with pharmaceuticals is a very serious step, and
2) Adverse side effects of medications are often not fully understood until decades after their beneficial effects are.

I have a nephew who was put on meds in childhood and over time and sustained use his personality tangibly changed to become much more negative, he has developed a lot of GI issues and a persistent ringing in his ears. He blames the meds for this (rightly or wrongly) and is just as angry with his parents as you are with your mother, for putting him on drugs when he was too young to object.

Just as you feel your mother was prioritizing your sanctimony over your needs, there are plenty of parents who worry that by putting their kids on meds they are doing what is convenient for the adult world rather than what is necessarily in the best interests of the child.

I'm sure parents make mistakes both ways, but if they made the wrong call it doesn't necessarily mean they weren't doing their level best for the child.

I absolutely think my DS's brain is now "re-wired" because of him not being in a typical school setting. It is not good for kids like him to have to sit still and focus for so long. DS being about to get outside and move around has absolutely had a real effect on his brain. If I HAD to have him in school, I would wake him up an hour early and take him for a walk in the woods or a park. Forcing kids to sit still re-wires their brains from what they should be, not in a good way. But there must be degrees, just like how some cases of depression can be handled with exercise, and some can't.

We put off going on meds after getting the diagnosis because I didn't think it necessary (yet) and I was concerned about the side effects, primarily on appetite and sleep. We finally went on meds when it was clear that she wasn't learning as much as she should be despite many, many accommodations. We haven't experienced any side effects and two days after starting meds she started to read for the first time.

For us, meds were a total win-win and I regret not doing it earlier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I think it's because taking the meds amounts to admitting their child has actual issues and just isn't brilliant and bored and if they teacher just realized their kid's brilliance, blah, blah, blah.

I think parents who rely on meds as their first option are lazy and aren't up to parenting a creative, smart kid with behavior challenges.

I am an adult with ADD whose mother had a sanctimonious smug attitude just like yours. Unfortunately for me and your kid, ADD is a neurological condition, not an excess of creativity or intelligence, and no amount of super sanctimommy "parenting" will rewire the brain. Would you try to "parent" the diabetes out of your kid?

Medications have completely changed my life and I will never forgive my mom for prioritizing her sanctimony over my need to function. But hey, she was able to tell the other mommies exactly what you've said above... Hope it was worth it for her.

I think you are lazy, too.

NP here. I am in the exact same boat as the first PP, although I'm old enough that meds weren't really even in wide use when I was a kid. But I know I could have benefited, in so, so many ways, if I had gotten on them earlier. You think I'm lazy, I think you're ignorant and pathetic. Hopefully you care as little about what I think as I do about what you think, and we can both go on living our lives. Happy Thanksgiving!

Lots of people benefit when they take speed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I think it's because taking the meds amounts to admitting their child has actual issues and just isn't brilliant and bored and if they teacher just realized their kid's brilliance, blah, blah, blah.

I think parents who rely on meds as their first option are lazy and aren't up to parenting a creative, smart kid with behavior challenges.

I believe, and am speaking from personal experience, that most parents try meds as a last resort when they have exhausted all their options. Initially, you are at a loss as to why your child is behaving in a certain manner. So, I can't imagine parents jumping to the conclusion that it must be ADHD and the child needs meds. The initial reaction for us was confusion and not being able to understand why our son could not control his impulses. We tried the behavioral modification and rewards for good behavior but none of it worked. So, we had him formally assessed like a lot of parents do because most ethical pediatricians and psychiatrist will not prescribe meds based solely on a parent or teacher's observations. So, PP, I think you are misinformed and generalizing.

PARENTS may not jump to this conclusion, but believe me, the first thing you hear from teachers is "you need to speak to your child's pediatrician" when kids are in any way behaving out of line. This is laziness on the part of the teacher, by the way, and it unfortunately sways too many unknowing parents to start thinking in this direction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I think it's because taking the meds amounts to admitting their child has actual issues and just isn't brilliant and bored and if they teacher just realized their kid's brilliance, blah, blah, blah.

I think parents who rely on meds as their first option are lazy and aren't up to parenting a creative, smart kid with behavior challenges.

I am an adult with ADD whose mother had a sanctimonious smug attitude just like yours. Unfortunately for me and your kid, ADD is a neurological condition, not an excess of creativity or intelligence, and no amount of super sanctimommy "parenting" will rewire the brain. Would you try to "parent" the diabetes out of your kid?

Medications have completely changed my life and I will never forgive my mom for prioritizing her sanctimony over my need to function. But hey, she was able to tell the other mommies exactly what you've said above... Hope it was worth it for her.

I think you are lazy, too.

NP here. I am in the exact same boat as the first PP, although I'm old enough that meds weren't really even in wide use when I was a kid. But I know I could have benefited, in so, so many ways, if I had gotten on them earlier. You think I'm lazy, I think you're ignorant and pathetic. Hopefully you care as little about what I think as I do about what you think, and we can both go on living our lives. Happy Thanksgiving!

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I think it's because taking the meds amounts to admitting their child has actual issues and just isn't brilliant and bored and if they teacher just realized their kid's brilliance, blah, blah, blah.

That's not it at all.

I have others, but the major reason I am against meds for myself or my child is the SIDE EFFECTS. You do know that there are side effects to any medication you put into your body, right? In this case, potentially harmful ones, including dependency on/ addiction to the meds, but also ones that may not yet be known. As an example, I do not even take Tylenol except in extreme conditions (maybe 2 a year, for really really really bad cramps) because of likely damage to the kidneys.

Further, I do not think it is in any way beneficial to a child, especially, to send the message that you need to "take a pill" to affect your behavior or thought process. That is setting said child up for immeasurable problems as he gets older.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks so much for all the feedback. Keep it coming.

We are facing this decision for a first grader. I am past the denial phase and moved into the realization that he has some kind of problem. Yes he is an active boy as PP mentioned but every single teacher notes that his behavior is out of the norm. In a smaller class or with one on one he would be fine. In a class with 20 kids and many distractions no so much.

He knows he is not doing well at school with his behavior and I am sure he is not learning as much as he could. But he is doing OK which would be fine with me except that he wants to do better and cannot. Its hard to watch. He is seeing a psychologist but there is only so much talking you can do with a 6 year old that has much impact.

My son started meditation and CBT at 8. It is hard to believe that an 8 year old can comprehend these things but it made a huge difference in his life.

Remember, what works at 6 might not work at 13. It is a continuous process. I found a school that had outdoor activities 5-6 times a day regardless of the weather. He also did sports which helped. But that same school eventually was not a good fit and we moved again.

Trying to find a path that works is great, being able to realize that others will never understand the path you create for your child will be your greatest armour against judgement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I think it's because taking the meds amounts to admitting their child has actual issues and just isn't brilliant and bored and if they teacher just realized their kid's brilliance, blah, blah, blah.

I think parents who rely on meds as their first option are lazy and aren't up to parenting a creative, smart kid with behavior challenges.

I am an adult with ADD whose mother had a sanctimonious smug attitude just like yours. Unfortunately for me and your kid, ADD is a neurological condition, not an excess of creativity or intelligence, and no amount of super sanctimommy "parenting" will rewire the brain. Would you try to "parent" the diabetes out of your kid?

Medications have completely changed my life and I will never forgive my mom for prioritizing her sanctimony over my need to function. But hey, she was able to tell the other mommies exactly what you've said above... Hope it was worth it for her.

I think you are lazy, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real question is, why do so many professionals default to recommending medication before trying other approaches?

Because ADHD is a real condition - and it's not a matter of the child just trying harder.

A PP wrote about over-prescription of statins -- which is also, IMO, just sanctimonious. I take statins, I eat well, get at least some exercise and, without statins, still have high cholestoral. I think that we, as a society, have gone off the deep end because we don't remember that people used to die from lack of vaccines and medications. So now we have measles and whooping cough outbreaks because free-range parents don't want to vaccinate their precious snowflakes and people think of ADHD medication as poison.

Our DS has been on ADHD medication for years. Periodically, he skips/forgets a dose and it gives us a good reminder of why he takes ADHD medication. It's not perfect and we're not one of those families whose child has gone from failing grades to Honor Roll thanks to meds, but he wouldn't be able to function well in school without it.

As for side effects, very few in DS's case. There are times he has had appetite and sleep issues but in general, they've been few and they've been manageable. He's continued to grow normally and he sleeps OK.

But you do realize that is 1 case that you are using to base all your judgement for all kids with ADHD. It worked for my kid. Well for some parents meditation works, diet change, lots of exercise.

Many people with high cholesterol and diabetes just change their diet and it fixes the issue are you saying they should not change their diet and only take meds?

When your son is "off his meds" is he on a special diet, meditating, exercising enough? Does he do behavioral therapy as well as meds?

You may want to realize that your way is not perfect, just the path you have decided to take... one of many options.

And for "many people" it does not. Same goes for migraine headaches and people who need to wear glasses or hearing aides!

So your solution is to put everybody on drugs.

My dd is 8 and diagnosed with ADHD last year. We have a 504 plan with accommodations, and her grades and parent-teacher conference were all pretty good. We are holding off on meds for now because she is doing ok with supports. Maybe she would do better with meds, but it appears to us that she does not yet need them.

We are holding off because of the side effects, but I am not anti-med, we are just delaying until we need them.


Side Effects for Focalin


Trouble sleeping, nervousness, nausea, stomach pain, headache, loss of appetite, weight loss, or dizziness may occur. If any of these effects persist or worsen, tell your doctor or pharmacist promptly.

Remember that your doctor has prescribed this medication because he or she has judged that the benefit to you is greater than the risk of side effects. Many people using this medication do not have serious side effects.

Tell your doctor right away if you have any serious side effects, including: numbness/pain/skin color change/sensitivity to temperature in the fingers or toes, fast/pounding/irregular heartbeat, mental/mood/behavior changes (such as agitation, aggression, mood swings, abnormal thoughts), uncontrolled muscle movements (such as twitching, shaking), sudden outbursts of words/sounds that are hard to control, vision changes (such as blurred vision).

Get medical help right away if you have any very serious side effects, including: fainting, seizure, symptoms of a heart attack (such as chest/jaw/left arm pain, shortness of breath, unusual sweating), symptoms of a stroke (such as weakness on one side of the body, slurred speech, sudden vision changes, confusion).

Rarely, males (including young boys and teens) may have a painful or prolonged erection lasting 4 or more hours while using this medication. Caregivers/parents should also be watchful for this serious side effect in boys. If a painful or prolonged erection occurs, stop using this drug and get medical help right away, or permanent problems could occur. Ask your doctor or pharmacist for more details.

A very serious allergic reaction to this drug is rare. However, get medical help right away if you notice any symptoms of a serious allergic reaction, including: rash, itching/swelling (especially of the face/tongue/throat), severe dizziness, trouble breathing.

This is not a complete list of possible side effects. If you notice other effects not listed above, contact your doctor or pharmacist.

In the US -

Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088.

In Canada - Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to Health Canada at 1-866-234-2345.

List Focalin side effects by likelihood and severity.



Precautions


Before taking dexmethylphenidate, tell your doctor or pharmacist if you are allergic to it; or to methylphenidate; or if you have any other allergies. This product may contain inactive ingredients, which can cause allergic reactions or other problems. Talk to your pharmacist for more details.

Before using this medication, tell your doctor or pharmacist your medical history, especially of: high blood pressure, blood circulation problems (such as Raynaud's disease), glaucoma, heart problems (such as irregular heartbeat, heart failure, previous heart attack, problems with heart structure), family history of heart problems (such as sudden cardiac death, irregular heartbeat), mental/mood conditions (especially anxiety, tension, agitation), personal/family history of mental/mood disorders (such as bipolar disorder, depression, psychosis), personal/family history of uncontrolled muscle movements (motor tics, Tourette's syndrome), overactive thyroid (hyperthyroidism), seizure disorder.

This drug may make you dizzy. Do not drive, use machinery, or do any activity that requires alertness until you are sure you can perform such activities safely.

Before having surgery, tell your doctor or dentist about all the products you use (including prescription drugs, nonprescription drugs, and herbal products).

If used for a long time, this drug may affect a child's growth rate, weight, and final adult height. To reduce the risk, the doctor may recommend briefly stopping the medication from time to time. Check the child's weight and height regularly, and consult your doctor or pharmacist for more details.

Older adults may be more sensitive to the side effects of this drug, especially trouble sleeping, weight loss, or chest pain.

During pregnancy, this medication should be used only when clearly needed. Discuss the risks and benefits with your doctor.

It is unknown if this medication passes into breast milk. However, similar drugs pass into breast milk. Consult your doctor before breast-feeding.

What should I know regarding pregnancy, nursing and administering Focalin to children or the elderly?



Interactions


Drug interactions may change how your medications work or increase your risk for serious side effects. This document does not contain all possible drug interactions. Keep a list of all the products you use (including prescription/nonprescription drugs and herbal products) and share it with your doctor and pharmacist. Do not start, stop, or change the dosage of any medicines without your doctor's approval.

Taking MAO inhibitors with this medication may cause a serious (possibly fatal) drug interaction. Avoid taking MAO inhibitors (isocarboxazid, linezolid, methylene blue, moclobemide, phenelzine, procarbazine, rasagiline, selegiline, tranylcypromine) during treatment with this medication. Most MAO inhibitors should also not be taken for two weeks before treatment with this medication. Ask your doctor when to start or stop taking this medication.