OP,

I moved from Western Europe to DC for Love at 22.

My then boyfriend had come here 2 years previously, so we had weathered a 2 year long-distance relationship. We had not talked marriage seriously except that he had proposed impulsively on the second date.
I applied and went to grad school here - no small feat considering I knew nothing of the workings of US universities, GREs, interview process, visa applications etc.
My parents disapproved heartily of the whole thing.

And now here I still am, married with 2 kids! Happily.

I thought long and hard about this decision, and went with my gut that basically this man was decent (we had never lived together before I flew across the Atlantic). You only have one life. The things you will regret are the things you did not do.
(And come on, we're not talking missionary work in the Ebola jungle - you'll survive).

I would wait. Let him move first. You can visit frequently and see if you really like it here. You can also see if you can get a job and you can figure more things out about your relationship.

By the way the people here are really cold and withdrawn.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I also live in San Diego where I was born and raised and could never imagine living anywhere else.

I mean D.C. is probably just as expensive as So Cal, but you wouldn't even get our perfect weather. You would really REALLY have to love your boyfriend to give up all of this to move over there.

I mean c'mon..It's like 79 today and it is Thanksgiving week.

Ah, but your on DCUM. Not San Diego urban moms, right?

Anonymous wrote:I love my bf, he's my best friend, and I believe he and I would make great lifelong partners someday. He's moving to DC in January for work, and asked if I would move with him. We are currently in San Diego, my hometown. It would be hard for me to leave family and close friends behind. I would also be leaving a solid job. If it weren't for him moving, I'd be content with where I am now. This feels like home to me. But I don't want to risk losing him. I'm 32, and have had my share of long term relationships but never felt the way I feel with him.

Has anyone ever moved for love before? Is it crazy to leave all these things behind for something so uncertain?

Me - from NY to DC 15 years ago. Still happily married and glad I made the plunge. I've really grown to love DC and love DH more and more every day. I love the life we've created here. I should add , I was exactly your age when I made the move, were weren't yet married, but I knew I loved. him. I also quit my dream job to move. I then found my second dream job. Go for it!

I'm the one that asked all about whether you'd been here or weathered a winter. I guess maybe in full disclosure I'd think about the three interrelated questions. 1. Should you try a different place for kicks while you are still relatively young? Sure, if that's something you have been wanting to do. 2. Should you move for love at your age if you are worried about missing out on that marriage/kid window? Maybe so, it kind of depends on how awesome he is. I would have for my DH without a doubt. Which would definitely have made living here over so-called (where I have also lived and far prefer) worthwhile. 3. Is this Guy just an excuse to do something you've been wanting to do or the reason for considering this in the first place? If it is the former then for God's sake pick a place for your new adventure that is worth you leaving your job, family, and friends over. I can assure you, compared to San Diego, this is not it. No, it is not beautiful by comparison. Not even close. And the winter...and the summer...it pretty much sucks. But...well, love. If you feel like you can't be without him-not because your Bio clock is ticking or some weird reason-but, really can't imagine breathing in his absence then do it! You only live once and you can always move back. Short of that...I'd resent the hell out of moving here specifically for anyone but me.

Good luck with your decision. At 34, I moved from the Southern California coast to DC. I was a lifelong Californian with an established consulting business. He knew I would not move without becoming engaged. So, he proposed. I moved a couple months prior to our wedding (and was able to continue consulting from DC). A couple kids later and I still miss LA, my CA family and friends, but am happy with my decision. It's a great place to raise kids. Winters and Summers are difficult but when you realize you have gained a family, it's all worth it.

We commuted until we realized we were sick of commuting and knew it was time to make a decision. I definitely would not have moved without knowing it was "real." Let your gut (and head) guide you. Best wishes.

Anonymous wrote:i wouldn't leave without a job and a ring.

+1000.

The job, IMO, is more important than the ring. You need to be able to care for yourself if things don't pan out with the BF.

i wouldn't leave without a job and a ring.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't leave until I had a job lined up in DC.

I agree with this. Is your boyfriend insistent that you move when he moves? I don't see the harm in waiting it out a few months. Come out to stay with him a few times and see how you like it. Get a job lined up.

If you're planning on spending your life together, a few months being long-distance is nothing. It also might be better for him to get acclimated to living in DC before you pack up and move out here. What if he gets here, hates it, and wants to go back, after you've uprooted your life?

I wouldn't leave until I had a job lined up in DC.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't leave without being engaged, at least.

+1

It is a really big risk to move for someone without a big commitment. Frankly CA is a much better place to live.

My bf lives in California and I live in DC. I will consider moving when my child finishes high school in a few years.

FWIW, I think D.C. is a wonderful place to live. I hope you love it if you head out this way!

OP, I also live in San Diego where I was born and raised and could never imagine living anywhere else.

I mean D.C. is probably just as expensive as So Cal, but you wouldn't even get our perfect weather. You would really REALLY have to love your boyfriend to give up all of this to move over there.

I mean c'mon..It's like 79 today and it is Thanksgiving week.