Airfares are too expensive to fly the family back and forth during Xmas, spring break and summer. Just combine it into one over the summer. Plus, alot of kids don't have anything to do over the summer, why not visit relatives oversea. That gives them a chance to learn the culture and language. The spouse usually split times or return early or vice versa. One spouse might stay longer, another go back. The couple still get their time together if they want to.

We did it when we lived abroad. I was the one with the job arboad - so DH came back to the US with the children to visit his family over summer. And no, I didnt have an affair while he was gone...

We did this too, as we lived in Kuwait for 5 years when I was growing up. My mom taught preschool so she had summers off too, so we'd head to Brooklyn for the summer to spend time with both sides of the family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving your husband alone for three months is not very smart. They might go to Happy Hour and find more than booze to be happy about.

You're projecting again.

I had a "same time next year" for several years with a man whose wife spent every August in another country visiting her parents. We spent one long weekend in Augudt on a friend's boat on Chesapeake Bay
Can't remember why it ended but it was a lot of fun and fond memories. So, it does happen.

Did you have a spouse too at the time, Ellen Burstyn?

No. Just the same time next year. Best way to have an affair.

I don't know why you would find this surprising. It is very common among many foreign born families. I would love to send my kid to see where I grew up in Japan and have exposure to the language and culture. See family and actually be a part of every day life and not as a tourist. It's a great experience that your kid's will never get living in America.

My brother's foreign-born wife does this. They live in a 3rd foreign country and she spends the summer either with my parents in the US or her home country.

It's a nice tradition, but it's pretty much intrinsically tied with the gender disparity involved with a dude having a "big" foreign job and a stay-at-home wife. Irritating to me personally since I would like to have that same kind of deal but instead am stuck with a fairly useless DH AND a full time job, while some of my male coworkers benefit from having a SAHW. I'd love to be able to truly lean in at work but as long as I have my second shift at home, I won't really be able to.

What's the big deal? Men can't handle being alone? Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Anonymous wrote:Probably some or all of the following:

1 - they don't get to see their families much since they live overseas;

2 - it takes a long time (comparatively) to get overseas so you might as well stay for while when you get there;

3 - the grandparents/relatives like to spend time with the children;

4 - they want their children to experience life in a country/culture other than the US, and perhaps even learn the language as well;

5 - the kids are on summer break, so it's a good time to take an extended vacation.

And so on.

This. All of it. Plus: International flights are VERY expensive and usually long. So going for a weekend or even 2 weeks here and there is not effective to truly expose the children to their mother/father culture and family AND costs can be prohibitive.

I usually spend one month but I plan on buying a condo in my home country and once I do, I will spend the whole summer probably.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving your husband alone for three months is not very smart. They might go to Happy Hour and find more than booze to be happy about.

You're projecting again.

I had a "same time next year" for several years with a man whose wife spent every August in another country visiting her parents. We spent one long weekend in Augudt on a friend's boat on Chesapeake Bay
Can't remember why it ended but it was a lot of fun and fond memories. So, it does happen.

Did you have a spouse too at the time, Ellen Burstyn?

Anonymous wrote:As mentioned above, i also know several expat american living overseas who bring their kids home to the US for summers.

Also know Americans living in the US where the wife and kids live in the vacation home (think Hamptons or florida). The husbands make it down maybe a few times a summer.

Having a stay-at-home wife in the family opens up these possibilities .

my dh grew up in north florida. his family had a beachhouse on the gulf. mom sah. they lived down there during the summer and their dad would go down on weekends.