I didn't read the comments, but statistically speaking, many couples wait to go to counseling till the very end, and hence, it's never effective. I think the number is 80% of couples who sought therapy, sought it when their relationship was beyond repair and didn't stay in it long.

I think it's important to make sure you do it, early, and consciously, as a safe zone for better communication not for airing grievances.

Best. Scene. Ever.

http://youtu.be/WRexU1FqPkA

Best. Scene. Ever.

For those of you who had good experiences, I would appreciate recs for specific counselors in the DC area! (I'm in NoVA but I'm sure others would as well.)

We did two different conselors and it made things worse. What did work is that I went to individual and figured out why I was putting up with that crap and learning strategies to figure out what I wanted, how to set up safe boundaries and being ready to follow up if he did not respect them. After a year, I am so much stronger, and happier and my husband and I are much happier too.

One of the thing I realized in my therapy is that husband had to stop drinking, and he had to go for pysch eval and keep up with treatment. Or I was gone. I was newly strong from the therapy and he knew I meant it. He stopped drinking and he got help for his issue and he remains stable on medication. Not sure if your situation is a dire as mine but please please put yourself and your kids first and the rest will work out.

Another side benefit, I started feeling so good that I actually lost the 40 extra pounds I had gained. Good luck.