Anonymous wrote:Op here ... Our consultant recommended field, Lowell and Sheridan. They said definitely not mclean. The SN board doesn't have as many kids, if any at those schools, as this board does, so again, that's why I'm posting here.

OP, just to dispel your misconceptions about the SN board--not everyone there has a kid in an SN school. In fact many don't b/c of the prohibitive costs. Also, people have kids who are SN & NT. Also SN kids as you must realize (ASD or not) have varying strengths and weaknesses; they're not monoliths of social awkwardness. Sometimes even the SN kids can have better social skills than the NT ones b/c they've been more focused on learning them.

But to answer your question, I've toured all the schools you've mentioned. As good as they are, I doubt Lowell and Sheridan will help you on the social front. You'd have better luck at Field and Mclean. And I'd add Burke. Tour all the schools; you'll be able to get a sense.

Middle school its probably the toughest time to be behind on the social skills front. In any case, it's possible that she could squeak in on her academics, but would you want your DD at a NT school be the social outcast in her class, or at a SN school middling though the social arena. SN schools often focus on the social curriculum in addition to the academics, so I wouldn't discount them. The exceptional schools fair is tomorrow:
http://www.exceptionalschoolsfair.com

For what it's worth, my HFA/ASD (aspergers/ADHD/anxiety disorder/exec. functioning did best in public school with an IEP - but team taught, not contained. The privates said they could accommodate but they really didn't know how.

Anonymous wrote:Op here ... Our consultant recommended field, Lowell and Sheridan. They said definitely not mclean. The SN board doesn't have as many kids, if any at those schools, as this board does, so again, that's why I'm posting here.

So are you applying to these schools? You may get more responses if you ask about the specific school in the title line on the SNs board.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private school isn't just for the socially adroit and there are several privates that start in middle school where everyone is new.

Check out some of the all girls' private schools. I went to one and was very happy probably more than at a coed school.

No way. Again PP with a child with an ASD. My NT DD went to an all girls school and it was difficult for her to navigate socially. I can't think of a single one in this area to which I would send a child with an ASD.

OP, when you post in this section you will get a lot of well meaning posts from people who have no idea what its like to have a child with an ASD. Thats why you should post in the SN section.

OP has a "maybe ASD" diagnosis from a doctor who saw her kid for 15 minutes. No one will call that an ASD diagnosis. I'm the above poster who also has a child with ASD who does not have academic or behavioral issues.

No that was me and my point was autism is different for every child. My child is fine in a private prek program. We have an asd diagnosis. We have issues but no asd. Just because her autism looks different than yours does not mean she is lying.

Sorry, I thought it was OP... And I never thought she was lying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private school isn't just for the socially adroit and there are several privates that start in middle school where everyone is new.

Check out some of the all girls' private schools. I went to one and was very happy probably more than at a coed school.

No way. Again PP with a child with an ASD. My NT DD went to an all girls school and it was difficult for her to navigate socially. I can't think of a single one in this area to which I would send a child with an ASD.

OP, when you post in this section you will get a lot of well meaning posts from people who have no idea what its like to have a child with an ASD. Thats why you should post in the SN section.

OP has a "maybe ASD" diagnosis from a doctor who saw her kid for 15 minutes. No one will call that an ASD diagnosis. I'm the above poster who also has a child with ASD who does not have academic or behavioral issues.

No that was me and my point was autism is different for every child. My child is fine in a private prek program. We have an asd diagnosis. We have issues but no asd. Just because her autism looks different than yours does not mean she is lying.

Op here ... Our consultant recommended field, Lowell and Sheridan. They said definitely not mclean. The SN board doesn't have as many kids, if any at those schools, as this board does, so again, that's why I'm posting here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private school isn't just for the socially adroit and there are several privates that start in middle school where everyone is new.

Check out some of the all girls' private schools. I went to one and was very happy probably more than at a coed school.

No way. Again PP with a child with an ASD. My NT DD went to an all girls school and it was difficult for her to navigate socially. I can't think of a single one in this area to which I would send a child with an ASD.

OP, when you post in this section you will get a lot of well meaning posts from people who have no idea what its like to have a child with an ASD. Thats why you should post in the SN section.

OP has a "maybe ASD" diagnosis from a doctor who saw her kid for 15 minutes. No one will call that an ASD diagnosis. I'm the above poster who also has a child with ASD who does not have academic or behavioral issues.

Anonymous wrote:Private school isn't just for the socially adroit and there are several privates that start in middle school where everyone is new.

Check out some of the all girls' private schools. I went to one and was very happy probably more than at a coed school.

No way. Again PP with a child with an ASD. My NT DD went to an all girls school and it was difficult for her to navigate socially. I can't think of a single one in this area to which I would send a child with an ASD.

OP, when you post in this section you will get a lot of well meaning posts from people who have no idea what its like to have a child with an ASD. Thats why you should post in the SN section.

Private school isn't just for the socially adroit and there are several privates that start in middle school where everyone is new.

Check out some of the all girls' private schools. I went to one and was very happy probably more than at a coed school.

Anonymous wrote:Again, I'm not "denigrating" SN schools. I'm saying the ones I know of are definitely not the right fit for my DD despite the fact that she does have some needs. Doctors and consultants agree with me. But when you say you have any need, often, yes, private schools flee, so thus my question.

We are clearly in a gray area and are really looking for the place where she can shine. Its a tough spot to find.

I'm PP with a child with an ASD. Why don't you post in the SN section? There are far more people there who could help you.

In terms of supports, no mainstream private will provide someone to work through social situations like that. It may be something you could outsource that and have her work with a private therapist who is skilled in working with kids with ASDs.

The one exception is the Mclean school which is a mainstream school that provides more supports than most and actually does have school counselors who work with kids, including on socialization, IF the needs are fairly minor. I know of a situation where they couldn't support the social needs of a very bright child who did well academically but needs a lot of social supports. It was not a good situation.

I also think you should look at public schools. Public is the only situation I can think of where they will truly provide supports in a mainstream situation.

You do need to work with a consultant. It is precisely in this kind of situation that you need professional advice. You refer to doctors and consultants -- have they recommended a school?

Do not omit this information from schools you are applying to. If you leave it out and you definitely won't get any support.

Middle school is hard. It's not a good place for a child to begin learning social skills. It sounds like your DD has missed on learning them over the years due to other issues.

The kids are all going to know each other very well because there will be a good portion who have been together for years. That's a tough situation to break into for any kid let allow one who might be quirky. The quirky kid who will be tolerated will be the one the kids are all used to after years of being in class with him/her. It's not Teachers aren't going to be involved in the social goings on so there will be no adult to direct interactions.

T

22:07. And I do think you need to know what exactly are your child's issue and strongly recommend a neuropsych eval.

It sounds like you don't have an ASD diagnosis and are in a grey area like you said. Unless you have a diagnosis, you don't have to disclose and I would not in your case.

Many private schools have a counselor and/or child psych who can support your child as you describe.

Why are you so averse to public schools? does she currently have troubles functioning in one? If not, your daughter might find friends and people more similar to her there, which would be a great thing. There are no remedial social skills in privates- quite the contrary. I'm having a hard time imagining a mainstream area private where an ASD child would find a good fit.

Again, I'm not "denigrating" SN schools. I'm saying the ones I know of are definitely not the right fit for my DD despite the fact that she does have some needs. Doctors and consultants agree with me. But when you say you have any need, often, yes, private schools flee, so thus my question.

We are clearly in a gray area and are really looking for the place where she can shine. Its a tough spot to find.