Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a male, and I often find myself in a position to observe women interacting with each other, and from what I can tell they all pretty much hate each other, both overtly and covertly. My kids attend an all-girls school and you can see how it begins in middle school and carries forward through high school. The women I work with trash on each other relentlessly behind each other's backs. Ditto for the moms when I volunteer at school. They're mostly cliquey and exclusive, and seem to have no problem talking shit about (or to) each other.

Where is your wife in all this, as the woman on this earth you are in a position to know the best? Did/does she display this characteristic? Why ask us, why not ask her, or ask your daughters or your coworkers? Do you have any female friends to ask? You can do it non-judgmentally (unlike what you've done here): "you speak pretty meanly about those other people. Do you hate them as much as it seems?"

x2!

Ladies, just Google "women hate each other." OP ain't alone

Anonymous wrote:I'm a male, and I often find myself in a position to observe women interacting with each other, and from what I can tell they all pretty much hate each other, both overtly and covertly. My kids attend an all-girls school and you can see how it begins in middle school and carries forward through high school. The women I work with trash on each other relentlessly behind each other's backs. Ditto for the moms when I volunteer at school. They're mostly cliquey and exclusive, and seem to have no problem talking shit about (or to) each other.

Where is your wife in all this, as the woman on this earth you are in a position to know the best? Did/does she display this characteristic? Why ask us, why not ask her, or ask your daughters or your coworkers? Do you have any female friends to ask? You can do it non-judgmentally (unlike what you've done here): "you speak pretty meanly about those other people. Do you hate them as much as it seems?"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure it is because you are so sexy and they are all just battling or your attention. When you are not around we are fine. You are just so hot we can't be adults in your presence.

Interesting theory, delivered with exactly the kind of bitchiness I'm referring to, only I usually witness it being directed at other females. Thanks for adding to the pool of evidence.

- OP

Clearly you just hate women. -NP

Because I asked a legitimate question, and defended myself against an ad hominem attack?

It's not a legitimate question because you of course know it couldn't possibly be true. If you had asked, "why does it seem like the women around me all hate each other?" OK, that's a legitimate question because it focuses only on what you have experienced, shows you really don't know what's going on, and keeps a relatively open mind that you might be wrong. Instead, you bash all women in one swooping generalization. And as another PP pointed out, if someone posted a similar question about men ("Do men pretty much all watch football and drink beer and belch all day on Sunday") crap would fly here from all the men - "another man hater posting on DCUM, big shock." You can't be this naive, can you? You also don't get to throw out incendiary posts and then cry foul when someone calls you on it. If you're the guy always bemoaning ad hominem attacks, perhaps you might want to change your tactics a little bit. You sound like a whiny elementary school kid wondering why he gets sand kicked in his face after flinging insults.

x2.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure it is because you are so sexy and they are all just battling or your attention. When you are not around we are fine. You are just so hot we can't be adults in your presence.

Interesting theory, delivered with exactly the kind of bitchiness I'm referring to, only I usually witness it being directed at other females. Thanks for adding to the pool of evidence.

- OP

Clearly you just hate women. -NP

Because I asked a legitimate question, and defended myself against an ad hominem attack?

It's not a legitimate question because you of course know it couldn't possibly be true. If you had asked, "why does it seem like the women around me all hate each other?" OK, that's a legitimate question because it focuses only on what you have experienced, shows you really don't know what's going on, and keeps a relatively open mind that you might be wrong. Instead, you bash all women in one swooping generalization. And as another PP pointed out, if someone posted a similar question about men ("Do men pretty much all watch football and drink beer and belch all day on Sunday") crap would fly here from all the men - "another man hater posting on DCUM, big shock." You can't be this naive, can you? You also don't get to throw out incendiary posts and then cry foul when someone calls you on it. If you're the guy always bemoaning ad hominem attacks, perhaps you might want to change your tactics a little bit. You sound like a whiny elementary school kid wondering why he gets sand kicked in his face after flinging insults.

No. What a nuts question.

Anonymous wrote:
OP - Are you married, have a girlfriend? Daughters? A mother, sisters? Do you think they're all petty and hateful? Are you not personally close to any women who are good, loving people?

If this is your impression of "all women" then I think you need to cultivate some close relationships with a broader set of women.

Women, like men, are not all alike. There are mean, petty, judgmental people of both genders.

Yes, there is in the culture a subset of "mean girls" and "queen bees", just as there are male jerks and a-holes. It's just that men find it easier to let out their aggression on women and have more socially-acceptable ways to let out their hostilities.

But, no, women are not naturally or generally nastier or meaner than men as a group.

I think you must not have many quality relationships with good women if you're painting half of the world's population with that brush.



+1

OP, this is akin to saying all men are pigs, or all men are chauvinists, or any other generalization about people. Perhaps SOME people act a certain way; that doesn't mean ALL do.

No, of course, pretty much all women do not hate each other. That's like saying all women are hateful people. Ouch. If you have a problem with a particular boss, or your wife, or one of your daughter's friends, then I might agree with your specific concerns. But if you have a problem with all women, then that's on you.

Anonymous wrote:OP - Are you married, have a girlfriend? Daughters? A mother, sisters? Do you think they're all petty and hateful? Are you not personally close to any women who are good, loving people?

If this is your impression of "all women" then I think you need to cultivate some close relationships with a broader set of women.

Women, like men, are not all alike. There are mean, petty, judgmental people of both genders.

Yes, there is in the culture a subset of "mean girls" and "queen bees", just as there are male jerks and a-holes. It's just that men find it easier to let out their aggression on women and have more socially-acceptable ways to let out their hostilities.

But, no, women are not naturally or generally nastier or meaner than men as a group.

I think you must not have many quality relationships with good women if you're painting half of the world's population with that brush.

+1

OP, this is akin to saying all men are pigs, or all men are chauvinists, or any other generalization about people. Perhaps SOME people act a certain way; that doesn't mean ALL do.

OP - Are you married, have a girlfriend? Daughters? A mother, sisters? Do you think they're all petty and hateful? Are you not personally close to any women who are good, loving people?

If this is your impression of "all women" then I think you need to cultivate some close relationships with a broader set of women.

Women, like men, are not all alike. There are mean, petty, judgmental people of both genders.

Yes, there is in the culture a subset of "mean girls" and "queen bees", just as there are male jerks and a-holes. It's just that men find it easier to let out their aggression on women and have more socially-acceptable ways to let out their hostilities.

But, no, women are not naturally or generally nastier or meaner than men as a group.

I think you must not have many quality relationships with good women if you're painting half of the world's population with that brush.

I just hate home wrecking whores.

I went to a k-12 all girls school and it was incredibly supportive and pro girls all around in every way. I am still friends with all those women. I was SHOCKED when I got a real job after graduate school, and I had a female boss that women didn't support other women, that an advancement for one wasn't an advancement for all. I prefer working for and with men now. I do try to mentor and support women, I think breaking this mean girl cycle is so important.

OP, I'm a woman, and I think I know what you are talking about.

But I don't think it's innate to women. I think it's learned behavior.

I could write a long post about how girls are sort of indoctrinated into this kind of cliquish mentality/behavior in a way that most men aren't.

I say "most" men, because I think men can be that way, too, especially if they were raised and/or spent a lot of time around cliquish women.

All humans have an innate sense of survival/competitiveness. How they are raised shapes that instinct and determines how they manifest/respond to it.

If girls grow up in environments where cliques dominate and the biggest way to gain acceptance/attention is to participate in the cattiness, then that is how they will be as adults.

If boys grow up in that environment, then they will turn out the same way.

Why it seems to be mostly women is because I think boys are allowed more leeway in letting out their aggression/competitiveness/energy in physical ways. There is strong pressure on girls, however, to have a certain outward appearance of delicate. And then in groups of girls, a lot of the bonding happens via talking and gossiping.

With boys, I think there is more encouragement to bond in teams and in physical ways -- not just playing sports, but doing things. It doesn't even have to be sports. My brother grew up in a group where bonding happened over computers and games and programming.

This is all anecdotal. And I know these are generalizations. Not all women grew up in this way. But I do think that in very broad strokes, there is some accuracy to all of this.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure it is because you are so sexy and they are all just battling or your attention. When you are not around we are fine. You are just so hot we can't be adults in your presence.

It's the jungle law: animals fight for food.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure it is because you are so sexy and they are all just battling or your attention. When you are not around we are fine. You are just so hot we can't be adults in your presence.

Interesting theory, delivered with exactly the kind of bitchiness I'm referring to, only I usually witness it being directed at other females. Thanks for adding to the pool of evidence.

- OP

Np here. This does not support your point at all, OP. Do you not realize that?

You know, there have been several very thoughtful, balanced responses, which I greatly appreciate. The response to which you are referring was nothing more than a personal attack, so I responded in kind.

I don't actually have a point. What I have are casual observations and a wealth of personal experience which, when viewed as a whole, seem to indicate that women hate each other. You are correct, though, that the response shouldn't be added to this particular pool of evidence, since the attack was on a male and not a fellow female. Instead I will file it under "Do women hate men who ask hard (i.e. unflattering) questions regarding their gender?"

OP you are absolutely correct. This is why I get along with men better and get yelled at from women saying that there must be something wrong with me for not getting along well with women. (Proving my point)

There is actually a movie about this called Finding Kind. Thank you for being observent of this.