Anonymous
11/09/2014 16:02
Subject: Does anyone still get in trouble by their mother
Anonymous wrote:I am a white American. I went to a therapist with my mother when I was 18 because I couldn't take the pressure of my mom hating everything about me. In her eyes I don't even breath right ( she yells at me about the way I breath ) the terspist told me she has never met someone as controlling as my mother. Couldn't believe at 18 how I couldn't pick my clothes, or food or even have an opinion about music or movies. ( I get asked what I like to do, my tastes on things my response has always been nothing ) I feel as if I almost don't exist as a person .
I did move to dc after I talked to the therapist my mother has hated that choice more then any other. I do have my own bank account but my pay checks go into an account I share with her as it was set up when I was a baby. It's a way for her to make sure I don't spend any of my paychecks. I happen to agree with her on that as I feel strongly as to not spend any money, I'm a super saver just like her.
The level of control is extreme, I just hate to upset her and now that I'm in her house for another 2 weeks it is becoming difficult.
So, if you want your mother to stop being able to punish you then get your pay deposited to your own account. If you want your mom to have control of your money so you don't spend it then she will be able to "punish" you. Decide which option is better for you.
Anonymous
11/09/2014 14:43
Subject: Does anyone still get in trouble by their mother
Anonymous wrote:Come on, people. So obviously a TROLL.
Only trolls call troll. Stop doing that.
Anonymous
11/09/2014 12:55
Subject: Does anyone still get in trouble by their mother
Come on, people. So obviously a TROLL.
Anonymous
11/09/2014 11:30
Subject: Does anyone still get in trouble by their mother
Um, no. My daughter is turning 20 in a couple of weeks and doesn't get in trouble with us.
What you are describing is batshit crazy. Get your own phone. Wear whatever you think is respectable to wear to a funeral.
What you are describing is batshit crazy. Get your own phone. Wear whatever you think is respectable to wear to a funeral.
Anonymous
11/09/2014 11:21
Subject: Does anyone still get in trouble by their mother
Much as the original post is totally fucked up and makes no sense, someone making this up is even more fucked up. What is your goal in writing something like this. Think about it and get some help.
Anonymous
11/08/2014 21:24
Subject: Does anyone still get in trouble by their mother
OP, for the love of God please tell all of this to a local therapist. Do not tell your mother you are doing this.
The therapist will ask you what you want in life, and what you want your relationship with your mother to be like, so think about it before you go. When you have lived in a abusive situation all your life, it's extremely difficult to get out of it by yourself, so go to a therapist - hopefully other PPs will recommend one.
You have a long road ahead to psychological recovery. I would not advise you to see your mother for now, as she can sway you too easily. Get all your money out of the joint account as soon as you can. Do not contact your mother, but keep talking to a therapist.
Anonymous
11/08/2014 21:05
Subject: Does anyone still get in trouble by their mother
Anonymous wrote:I think you need more psychological help than any online forum can give to you. You have an unhealthy dependency on your mother but it actually sounds like you want it this way. If this is what you want, then stop complaining about it. But, if you want to change, I think you need a counselor of some type to guide you into being an independent adult.
Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 or 15 years? Do you want to get married? Have children? (Not a requirement, it's not for everyone.) Do you want to visit Mom less often or not at all? Do you want control over your money to save or to spend as you want? If not, then fine. But if you want to change, you have some work to do. I suggest you find a counselor/mentor who can teach you what your mother never did. That is, how to live as an independent adult with healthy relationships. Your mother will never change, so don't even try to change her. You can only change yourself.
This.
Anonymous
11/08/2014 20:26
Subject: Does anyone still get in trouble by their mother
I think you need more psychological help than any online forum can give to you. You have an unhealthy dependency on your mother but it actually sounds like you want it this way. If this is what you want, then stop complaining about it. But, if you want to change, I think you need a counselor of some type to guide you into being an independent adult.
Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 or 15 years? Do you want to get married? Have children? (Not a requirement, it's not for everyone.) Do you want to visit Mom less often or not at all? Do you want control over your money to save or to spend as you want? If not, then fine. But if you want to change, you have some work to do. I suggest you find a counselor/mentor who can teach you what your mother never did. That is, how to live as an independent adult with healthy relationships. Your mother will never change, so don't even try to change her. You can only change yourself.
Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 or 15 years? Do you want to get married? Have children? (Not a requirement, it's not for everyone.) Do you want to visit Mom less often or not at all? Do you want control over your money to save or to spend as you want? If not, then fine. But if you want to change, you have some work to do. I suggest you find a counselor/mentor who can teach you what your mother never did. That is, how to live as an independent adult with healthy relationships. Your mother will never change, so don't even try to change her. You can only change yourself.
Anonymous
11/08/2014 20:16
Subject: Re:Does anyone still get in trouble by their mother
Anonymous wrote:Sorry but this is not real. Every other post it's more extreme. Mom went from cutting off a shared cell phone to having a murdered child. Stop.
She hasn't cut off my phone she just threatened too. And yes my sibling was murdered.
Anonymous
11/08/2014 20:15
Subject: Does anyone still get in trouble by their mother
This can't be real. This is so incredibly pathetic I can't even wrap my head around it!
Anonymous
11/08/2014 20:14
Subject: Does anyone still get in trouble by their mother
You can move your paychecks into a new account and still not spend any of it if that's what you want. You seriously need to get your money away from her.
You also don't have to be there for another 2 weeks. It sounds like you have plenty of money. Take a vacation, fly back for the funeral and stay in a hotel.
You also don't have to be there for another 2 weeks. It sounds like you have plenty of money. Take a vacation, fly back for the funeral and stay in a hotel.
Anonymous
11/08/2014 20:12
Subject: Re:Does anyone still get in trouble by their mother
Sorry but this is not real. Every other post it's more extreme. Mom went from cutting off a shared cell phone to having a murdered child. Stop.
Anonymous
11/08/2014 20:00
Subject: Does anyone still get in trouble by their mother
Anonymous wrote:But how do you pat your rent/mortgage or any loving expenses if you don't use your salary?
Anyway, if this is a true story then withdraw your money on Monday, buy a new cell phone, and never, ever speak to your mom again. She doesn't love you and never will. She just loves to abuse you.
I do side work to make extra money for my expenses. I'm an only child so our relationship is rather extreme. Also my sibling was murdered 20 years ago and her loosing a child/ her favorite child has caused this I believe. I feel so guilty for being the child that lived. I wish I had died and her perfect golden child could have lived. So I try hard to not upset her.
Anonymous
11/08/2014 19:49
Subject: Re:Does anyone still get in trouble by their mother
If you had the courage to move out and move across the country from your controlling and seemingly mentally disturbed mother, then you certainly have the courage to open a bank account of your own, have your salary deposited there, get your own phone, and wear what you want. These are all choices YOU are making. You asked if anyone still “gets in trouble by their mother.” YOU are letting her “get you in trouble.” (BTW - At your age, I was a mother myself so no, my mother wasn’t getting me in trouble)
Anonymous
11/08/2014 19:43
Subject: Does anyone still get in trouble by their mother
But how do you pat your rent/mortgage or any loving expenses if you don't use your salary?
Anyway, if this is a true story then withdraw your money on Monday, buy a new cell phone, and never, ever speak to your mom again. She doesn't love you and never will. She just loves to abuse you.
Anyway, if this is a true story then withdraw your money on Monday, buy a new cell phone, and never, ever speak to your mom again. She doesn't love you and never will. She just loves to abuse you.