Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked people do this. So bizarre.

I understand. We do it because we married and had kids quite late in life, after we each had accumulated considerable assets. Just seemed the easiest thing to do rather than retitle properties, unwind investments, just for the sake of having it all jointly. Emphasis was on easy, and not on what most people do.

Same senario for me and DH. It started to get complicated when I was on extended maternity leave for 6 months with no income and then went back to work part time. We had to rethink the amounts we were each contributing to the joint account.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the troubles with this sort of divided accounting occur when parents don't make equal amounts and/or when one parent spends a lot more than the other.

Once you have kids and all the expenses that come with it, having divided accounts becomes complicated. What if you buy diapers along with some make up for on amazon? Do you have to divide the bill?

Personally, I would make sure that each parent has maxed out retirement contributions, but then put the rest in joint accounts.

No. That comes from the joint accounts. Did you actually read the thread?

Did you read the post? Why would make up come out of the joint account?

BTW, I agree with the PP that the parent who quits work, reduces to part time, or doesn't actively seek promotions because of childcare--and this is usually the mother--often is the one who is hurt by the divided bills.

It's not that serious. I can't speak for others, but we certainly don't nickel and dime each other and item everything. There are an awful lot of projections and assumptions in this thread. My DH makes double what I do. He doesn't come to me on the first of the month and say "your half of the mortgage is X."

And to a different PP, why do you assume DHs are forcing their wives into anything? That says a lot more about you than us.

Do I cease to be an individual when I get married? I like having my own account. I like buying my DH's birthday and Xmas gifts out of it. I know it was my treat, and I can surprise him because he won't see the bill. I like buying stuff on a whim if I want, knowing our bills and savings are already covered. Basically, whatever is left is fun money.

DH and I have our own checking accounts and a joint Fidelity savings account. All spending/saving goes into Quicken. We keep as little in our checking accounts as we can. If it gets below a certain amount,we transfer money in, when it gets above,we transfer money out. We each pay certain things based on history and/or logic. Everything is reconciled in the end. I like that we can go back an see what we spent. Personally, I would have trouble not knowing the spending habits of my DH, but that is me. We still buy things on a whim. We still are able to buy each other birthday and holiday presents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked people do this. So bizarre.

I understand. We do it because we married and had kids quite late in life, after we each had accumulated considerable assets. Just seemed the easiest thing to do rather than retitle properties, unwind investments, just for the sake of having it all jointly. Emphasis was on easy, and not on what most people do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the troubles with this sort of divided accounting occur when parents don't make equal amounts and/or when one parent spends a lot more than the other.

Once you have kids and all the expenses that come with it, having divided accounts becomes complicated. What if you buy diapers along with some make up for on amazon? Do you have to divide the bill?

Personally, I would make sure that each parent has maxed out retirement contributions, but then put the rest in joint accounts.

No. That comes from the joint accounts. Did you actually read the thread?

Did you read the post? Why would make up come out of the joint account?

BTW, I agree with the PP that the parent who quits work, reduces to part time, or doesn't actively seek promotions because of childcare--and this is usually the mother--often is the one who is hurt by the divided bills.

It's not that serious. I can't speak for others, but we certainly don't nickel and dime each other and item everything. There are an awful lot of projections and assumptions in this thread. My DH makes double what I do. He doesn't come to me on the first of the month and say "your half of the mortgage is X."

And to a different PP, why do you assume DHs are forcing their wives into anything? That says a lot more about you than us.

Do I cease to be an individual when I get married? I like having my own account. I like buying my DH's birthday and Xmas gifts out of it. I know it was my treat, and I can surprise him because he won't see the bill. I like buying stuff on a whim if I want, knowing our bills and savings are already covered. Basically, whatever is left is fun money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the troubles with this sort of divided accounting occur when parents don't make equal amounts and/or when one parent spends a lot more than the other.

Once you have kids and all the expenses that come with it, having divided accounts becomes complicated. What if you buy diapers along with some make up for on amazon? Do you have to divide the bill?

Personally, I would make sure that each parent has maxed out retirement contributions, but then put the rest in joint accounts.

No. That comes from the joint accounts. Did you actually read the thread?

Did you read the post? Why would make up come out of the joint account?

BTW, I agree with the PP that the parent who quits work, reduces to part time, or doesn't actively seek promotions because of childcare--and this is usually the mother--often is the one who is hurt by the divided bills.

It's not that serious. I can't speak for others, but we certainly don't nickel and dime each other and item everything. There are an awful lot of projections and assumptions in this thread. My DH makes double what I do. He doesn't come to me on the first of the month and say "your half of the mortgage is X."

And to a different PP, why do you assume DHs are forcing their wives into anything? That says a lot more about you than us.

Do I cease to be an individual when I get married? I like having my own account. I like buying my DH's birthday and Xmas gifts out of it. I know it was my treat, and I can surprise him because he won't see the bill. I like buying stuff on a whim if I want, knowing our bills and savings are already covered. Basically, whatever is left is fun money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the troubles with this sort of divided accounting occur when parents don't make equal amounts and/or when one parent spends a lot more than the other.

Once you have kids and all the expenses that come with it, having divided accounts becomes complicated. What if you buy diapers along with some make up for on amazon? Do you have to divide the bill?

Personally, I would make sure that each parent has maxed out retirement contributions, but then put the rest in joint accounts.

No. That comes from the joint accounts. Did you actually read the thread?

Did you read the post? Why would make up come out of the joint account?

BTW, I agree with the PP that the parent who quits work, reduces to part time, or doesn't actively seek promotions because of childcare--and this is usually the mother--often is the one who is hurt by the divided bills.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the troubles with this sort of divided accounting occur when parents don't make equal amounts and/or when one parent spends a lot more than the other.

Once you have kids and all the expenses that come with it, having divided accounts becomes complicated. What if you buy diapers along with some make up for on amazon? Do you have to divide the bill?

Personally, I would make sure that each parent has maxed out retirement contributions, but then put the rest in joint accounts.

No. That comes from the joint accounts. Did you actually read the thread?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No kids, but....

We have separate checking and savings accounts, separate "play" brokerage accounts, separate credit cards, a shared savings account, a shared checking account, a shared brokerage account, and shared credit cards (in one name, but with two cards and considered the "joint" card).

We put the same amount of money into the shared checking account each month, which should be enough to cover our expenses, including all charges on the joint credit card. Groceries, travel, dining out, joint activities all go on this card.

If we have money building up in the shared checking account, we move it to the shared saving account. If there's a lot, we may move some to the brokerage account and buy some ETFs.

My monthly deposit into the shared checking account is about 68% of my take-home pay. So my remaining 22% is mine, to save, spend, invest, or sometimes put toward large expenses that we need to pay.

There's no "splitting of the bills"--they are paid out of the joint checking account.

And yet somehow despite being heathens who haven't merged all our finances, we are happy and very very well off.

No kids, but..

Anonymous wrote:This sounds so painful.