Anonymous
11/06/2014 18:58
Subject: Perfect living distance from your parents/the grandparents...
I know that I want to live no closer than 3 hours from my children. No free babysitting, etc. I brought up my kids and never asked for help and they can take care of their kids.
Anonymous
11/06/2014 16:36
Subject: Perfect living distance from your parents/the grandparents...
Anonymous wrote:6 feet under
woa.
Anonymous
11/06/2014 16:34
Subject: Perfect living distance from your parents/the grandparents...
For me? I would love it if my parents were under an hour away. They're across the country 
but I would love to be able to see them more often, like close enough to have a weekly dinner together.
but I would love to be able to see them more often, like close enough to have a weekly dinner together.
Anonymous
11/06/2014 16:29
Subject: Perfect living distance from your parents/the grandparents...
I told my mom not to be closer than an hour. She picked a place just over an hour away.
Anonymous
11/06/2014 16:11
Subject: Perfect living distance from your parents/the grandparents...
6 feet under
Anonymous
11/06/2014 16:07
Subject: Re:Perfect living distance from your parents/the grandparents...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Here's my dilemma: we sort of live near both families, although much closer to my ILs (40 min) vs my parents (3.5 hrs by car). MIL makes my life pure hell, and pretty much ruins our relationship with DH. She loves DC as do the rest of ILs, no issues here. I am cordial with the rest of ILs. My family also adores DC, they have a good relationship with us, but can't visit as often as ILs.
Now, DH has a job offer across country and I maybe able to find there job as well. Being away from MIL would make things better between us, I would be able to quit therapy and meds and maybe we'd have enough courage to have another child. However, I am hesitant to move DC away from both sets of grandparents, who clearly love her and whom she loves.
As to the helping part that many here say is a perk: I refuse to accept "help" from the MIL as she always makes about me being a horrible mother and parent, and basically says that DH and DC would be better with her instead of me. DH insists I let her babysit whenever she wants, because she loves DC. My family sometimes come down to babysit when I am sick or need to travel, so they do help. We can't move near my family as they pretty much live in the country, no jobs for us there.
Wwyd? Would you move?
In your situation, I would move across country. If your parents are the sane, supportive ones they'll understand why need to go somewhere that's better for your marriage. My parents live across country and they come out to see us 2-3 times a year and I go out to see them 2xyear, so they do get to see the kids relatively often. I'd love for them to be nearby, but it's just not in the cards for us at the moment. My ILs live across a couple continents and oceans, and if they were closer, we would have a lot more problems with our marriage as well, so I get what you mean. Your parents will support you in moving away, even if they're sad.
Thank you! My parents will understand for sure.
Anonymous
11/06/2014 16:02
Subject: Perfect living distance from your parents/the grandparents...
We are literally 5 minutes away from in-laws. Worst decision ever! They feel like they should visit us every day of the week. We always have to make excuses. I think 45 minutes is ideal. I am sorry but I am not comfortable having in-laws as my overnight guests. We lived in the same development 2 years ago so I guess we have seen enough of each other 
Anonymous
11/06/2014 15:30
Subject: Perfect living distance from your parents/the grandparents...
Both sets of parents live 4 hours away. My inlaws come down twice a year to visit, my parents come 5-6 times. We go back 4-5 times a year. Seems to work well for us. I've learned to adjust my expectations in regards to the inlaws, so they are much more pleasant to be around at this point.
Anonymous
11/06/2014 15:14
Subject: Perfect living distance from your parents/the grandparents...
Anonymous wrote:Can't stand your parents but have no qualms about using them for free babysitting. All of you are disgusting .
What are you talking about? This is one thread on Family Relationships that I feel has one of the better ratios of people saying they wish they lived closer for family help (both kids and then THEM when older)...........troll elsewhere!
Anonymous
11/06/2014 14:30
Subject: Perfect living distance from your parents/the grandparents...
Anonymous wrote:Can't stand your parents but have no qualms about using them for free babysitting. All of you are disgusting .
Who are you talking to? I'm one of the PPs and I have a great relationship with my parents. Sometimes they offer date night babysitting and sometimes they don't - fine either way.
Anonymous
11/06/2014 14:28
Subject: Re:Perfect living distance from your parents/the grandparents...
Anonymous wrote:Here's my dilemma: we sort of live near both families, although much closer to my ILs (40 min) vs my parents (3.5 hrs by car). MIL makes my life pure hell, and pretty much ruins our relationship with DH. She loves DC as do the rest of ILs, no issues here. I am cordial with the rest of ILs. My family also adores DC, they have a good relationship with us, but can't visit as often as ILs.
Now, DH has a job offer across country and I maybe able to find there job as well. Being away from MIL would make things better between us, I would be able to quit therapy and meds and maybe we'd have enough courage to have another child. However, I am hesitant to move DC away from both sets of grandparents, who clearly love her and whom she loves.
As to the helping part that many here say is a perk: I refuse to accept "help" from the MIL as she always makes about me being a horrible mother and parent, and basically says that DH and DC would be better with her instead of me. DH insists I let her babysit whenever she wants, because she loves DC. My family sometimes come down to babysit when I am sick or need to travel, so they do help. We can't move near my family as they pretty much live in the country, no jobs for us there.
Wwyd? Would you move?
In your situation, I would move across country. If your parents are the sane, supportive ones they'll understand why need to go somewhere that's better for your marriage. My parents live across country and they come out to see us 2-3 times a year and I go out to see them 2xyear, so they do get to see the kids relatively often. I'd love for them to be nearby, but it's just not in the cards for us at the moment. My ILs live across a couple continents and oceans, and if they were closer, we would have a lot more problems with our marriage as well, so I get what you mean. Your parents will support you in moving away, even if they're sad.
Anonymous
11/06/2014 13:39
Subject: Perfect living distance from your parents/the grandparents...
Anonymous wrote:Can't stand your parents but have no qualms about using them for free babysitting. All of you are disgusting .
And you are the pleasant one.
Anonymous
11/06/2014 13:08
Subject: Perfect living distance from your parents/the grandparents...
11:59, your MIL is not why you need therapy. Look in mirror.
Anonymous
11/06/2014 13:06
Subject: Perfect living distance from your parents/the grandparents...
Can't stand your parents but have no qualms about using them for free babysitting. All of you are disgusting .
Anonymous
11/06/2014 11:49
Subject: Re:Perfect living distance from your parents/the grandparents...
Here's my dilemma: we sort of live near both families, although much closer to my ILs (40 min) vs my parents (3.5 hrs by car). MIL makes my life pure hell, and pretty much ruins our relationship with DH. She loves DC as do the rest of ILs, no issues here. I am cordial with the rest of ILs. My family also adores DC, they have a good relationship with us, but can't visit as often as ILs.
Now, DH has a job offer across country and I maybe able to find there job as well. Being away from MIL would make things better between us, I would be able to quit therapy and meds and maybe we'd have enough courage to have another child. However, I am hesitant to move DC away from both sets of grandparents, who clearly love her and whom she loves.
As to the helping part that many here say is a perk: I refuse to accept "help" from the MIL as she always makes about me being a horrible mother and parent, and basically says that DH and DC would be better with her instead of me. DH insists I let her babysit whenever she wants, because she loves DC. My family sometimes come down to babysit when I am sick or need to travel, so they do help. We can't move near my family as they pretty much live in the country, no jobs for us there.
Wwyd? Would you move?
Now, DH has a job offer across country and I maybe able to find there job as well. Being away from MIL would make things better between us, I would be able to quit therapy and meds and maybe we'd have enough courage to have another child. However, I am hesitant to move DC away from both sets of grandparents, who clearly love her and whom she loves.
As to the helping part that many here say is a perk: I refuse to accept "help" from the MIL as she always makes about me being a horrible mother and parent, and basically says that DH and DC would be better with her instead of me. DH insists I let her babysit whenever she wants, because she loves DC. My family sometimes come down to babysit when I am sick or need to travel, so they do help. We can't move near my family as they pretty much live in the country, no jobs for us there.
Wwyd? Would you move?