Anonymous
Post 11/01/2014 23:05     Subject: At What Age is it Appropriate to Start to Talk about Dieting? (12 YO DS)
Anonymous wrote:So sad that parents are afraid to help their kids become healthier.

Use this BMI calculator... 5 feet and over 100 pounds is not good:
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/raising-fit-kids/weight/bmi/bmi-calculator


Wrong, still healthy. Certainly not obese.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2014 22:33     Subject: At What Age is it Appropriate to Start to Talk about Dieting? (12 YO DS)
Anonymous wrote:So sad that parents are afraid to help their kids become healthier.

Use this BMI calculator... 5 feet and over 100 pounds is not good:
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/raising-fit-kids/weight/bmi/bmi-calculator


You do not get it. What "parents" are trying to do is not turn something with a low risk of becoming a problem into something with a high risk of becoming a problem. Overweight is a risk factor for problems, not a problem in itself. But it is also normal to a degree, esp for preteen boys who have growth spurts. How can you tell the difference? You can't, you have to wait and see...but by imposing dieting and encouraging negative body image you are greatly increasing the risk of problems that are every bit as dangerous, and even more lethal, than those your kid MIGHT be at risk for bc of his weight.

It's not that the people piling on op love their kids less than you or don't know what you know. It's that they have a different understanding of the landscape of risks they are facing than you do.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2014 22:21     Subject: At What Age is it Appropriate to Start to Talk about Dieting? (12 YO DS)
Anonymous wrote:So sad that parents are afraid to help their kids become healthier.

Use this BMI calculator... 5 feet and over 100 pounds is not good:
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/raising-fit-kids/weight/bmi/bmi-calculator


That chart is ridiculous & uses archaic, nonsensical standards.It compares the child's weight to that of other boys his age, not other boys who are both the same age & the same his height which, according to both logic & the various pediatricians & dieticians I know who were educated more recently (ie within the last decade or so) at top schools (&, due to both my own graduate field of study & profession & those of my DH, I know several), is a far more apt comparison.Unless he's very thin naturally,a healthy child who is much taller than the vast majority of his peers should weigh quite a bit more than they do!

According to the CDC growth chart, a boy who is 5 ft tall & weighs 100 lbs on his 10th birthday is in 97th percentile for height & the 94th percentile for weight. Sounds pretty proportional to me! The kid is TALL, not overweight!
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2014 21:31     Subject: At What Age is it Appropriate to Start to Talk about Dieting? (12 YO DS)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Holy cow, I'm the PP with the 5ft tall 10yo and I can't believe you all think I'm a nut. I rounded down - his weight is somewhere between 100 and 115 but he only gets weighed at the peds and I was mostly trying to make the point for the PP who mentioned having a child of similar weight. Seriously, I'm not a food crazy person at all - I think I'm the last woman in Bethesda who still eats bread and my kids are probably the only ones at their MCPS school who get a cookie or two in the lunch box every day.

However, my 10yo IS overweight - not wildly, but clearly - and it would be bizarre and unhealthy if I didn't acknowledge that. The measures we've taken are probably insufficient if anything, precisely because we don't want to give him a complex. And also because we can pretty well count on the fact that he's going to grow a lot more in terms of height. Our ped's advice was not to worry about numbers on the scale; just ensure his diet is as healthy as possible and that he's getting lots of physical activity (which parents of older kids who aren't into sports will appreciate is actually not as easy as it was when they are little.)


In your earlier post, you stated that your DS was "obese". Even if he is 5 ft & 115lbs AND small framed, that still only puts him at the high end of a healthy weight range, so there's no way he is even close to obese. You also said in his last post that he is actually "just over 5 ft", which makes it even less likely that he is even overweight, much less obese, if his weight is between 100-115.

No, none other I nor any of the PPs have seen your child in person.But your pediatrician has &, per your first post, is also telling you that your DS' s weight is nothing to worry about. Please, please listen before you give your children a distorted view of what "overweight" looks like.


PP here, I missed the last part of your post about the pediatrician' s advice. I'm glad you are listening to it.Eating a (mostly) healthy diet & getting enough enough exercise is, of course, important for everyone, regardless of their weight.

I'd still recommend, however, that you re-evaluate your own perceptions regarding what is & isn't overweight as, giving your classification of your normal weight son as "obese",they are distorted.You don't want to, even subtly/subconsciously, pass these distortions onto your children.


Ladies, really, don't hijack the OP's post on my account. I didn't make up the obese thing. My son had surgery at 8.5yo and it had to be split into two operations because the surgeon said he was obese. I never imagined he would be described in those terms - were so anxious for his surgery and that word threw us for a loop. We knew he'd put on weight, but - still, when I went home and looked up his stats, they did come up as obese at that time. I haven't looked since, to be honest, and as I said his ped described him as overweight but hasn't freaked out. (The ped doesn't say that his weight is nothing to worry about - he told us to see a nutritionist.)

My son is a great, awesome, wonderful kid, who has the best sense of himself of any kid I've ever seen, and I wouldn't mess with that for all the money in the world. But he cried when another kid called him fat, and I know he's heavy enough that he's uncomfortable at times. So it seems like the least I can or should do as a responsible parent is to foist an apple on him every day, and a few peas.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2014 21:15     Subject: At What Age is it Appropriate to Start to Talk about Dieting? (12 YO DS)
Why are you guys saying that a 100-lb 10-year-old is A-OK? It is not. Kudos to PP for trying to help her son. It is ridiculous to not help your overweight child.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2014 21:13     Subject: At What Age is it Appropriate to Start to Talk about Dieting? (12 YO DS)
So sad that parents are afraid to help their kids become healthier.

Use this BMI calculator... 5 feet and over 100 pounds is not good:
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/raising-fit-kids/weight/bmi/bmi-calculator
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2014 20:20     Subject: At What Age is it Appropriate to Start to Talk about Dieting? (12 YO DS)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Holy cow, I'm the PP with the 5ft tall 10yo and I can't believe you all think I'm a nut. I rounded down - his weight is somewhere between 100 and 115 but he only gets weighed at the peds and I was mostly trying to make the point for the PP who mentioned having a child of similar weight. Seriously, I'm not a food crazy person at all - I think I'm the last woman in Bethesda who still eats bread and my kids are probably the only ones at their MCPS school who get a cookie or two in the lunch box every day.

However, my 10yo IS overweight - not wildly, but clearly - and it would be bizarre and unhealthy if I didn't acknowledge that. The measures we've taken are probably insufficient if anything, precisely because we don't want to give him a complex. And also because we can pretty well count on the fact that he's going to grow a lot more in terms of height. Our ped's advice was not to worry about numbers on the scale; just ensure his diet is as healthy as possible and that he's getting lots of physical activity (which parents of older kids who aren't into sports will appreciate is actually not as easy as it was when they are little.)


In your earlier post, you stated that your DS was "obese". Even if he is 5 ft & 115lbs AND small framed, that still only puts him at the high end of a healthy weight range, so there's no way he is even close to obese. You also said in his last post that he is actually "just over 5 ft", which makes it even less likely that he is even overweight, much less obese, if his weight is between 100-115.

No, none other I nor any of the PPs have seen your child in person.But your pediatrician has &, per your first post, is also telling you that your DS' s weight is nothing to worry about. Please, please listen before you give your children a distorted view of what "overweight" looks like.


PP here, I missed the last part of your post about the pediatrician' s advice. I'm glad you are listening to it.Eating a (mostly) healthy diet & getting enough enough exercise is, of course, important for everyone, regardless of their weight.

I'd still recommend, however, that you re-evaluate your own perceptions regarding what is & isn't overweight as, giving your classification of your normal weight son as "obese",they are distorted.You don't want to, even subtly/subconsciously, pass these distortions onto your children.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2014 20:08     Subject: At What Age is it Appropriate to Start to Talk about Dieting? (12 YO DS)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I just plugged 5' and 100 lbs into a BMI calculator for boys and it came back "healthy weight."

PP you need help.


Try 100.25 and see what you get.

Not everyone who takes actions against weight issues needs help. Try to give us parent benefit of the doubt, will you?


100.25 is still very much within a healthy weight range for a child who is 5ft tall.

Yes, some kids do legitimately have weight issues that need to be addressed. A boy who is 5ft tall & 100-115 lbs, however, is not one of them.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2014 20:04     Subject: At What Age is it Appropriate to Start to Talk about Dieting? (12 YO DS)
Anonymous wrote:Holy cow, I'm the PP with the 5ft tall 10yo and I can't believe you all think I'm a nut. I rounded down - his weight is somewhere between 100 and 115 but he only gets weighed at the peds and I was mostly trying to make the point for the PP who mentioned having a child of similar weight. Seriously, I'm not a food crazy person at all - I think I'm the last woman in Bethesda who still eats bread and my kids are probably the only ones at their MCPS school who get a cookie or two in the lunch box every day.

However, my 10yo IS overweight - not wildly, but clearly - and it would be bizarre and unhealthy if I didn't acknowledge that. The measures we've taken are probably insufficient if anything, precisely because we don't want to give him a complex. And also because we can pretty well count on the fact that he's going to grow a lot more in terms of height. Our ped's advice was not to worry about numbers on the scale; just ensure his diet is as healthy as possible and that he's getting lots of physical activity (which parents of older kids who aren't into sports will appreciate is actually not as easy as it was when they are little.)


In your earlier post, you stated that your DS was "obese". Even if he is 5 ft & 115lbs AND small framed, that still only puts him at the high end of a healthy weight range, so there's no way he is even close to obese. You also said in his last post that he is actually "just over 5 ft", which makes it even less likely that he is even overweight, much less obese, if his weight is between 100-115.

No, none other I nor any of the PPs have seen your child in person.But your pediatrician has &, per your first post, is also telling you that your DS' s weight is nothing to worry about. Please, please listen before you give your children a distorted view of what "overweight" looks like.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2014 18:26     Subject: At What Age is it Appropriate to Start to Talk about Dieting? (12 YO DS)
Way to jump to the conclusion 17:46, based on a comment that was made three years ago.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2014 17:46     Subject: At What Age is it Appropriate to Start to Talk about Dieting? (12 YO DS)
Anonymous wrote:People who have not had someone close to them have a bout with an ED may not realize just how dangerous they are, or how insidious and difficult to overcome they can be. Anorexia nervosa has a 10% mortality rate.

More boys and young men are developing EDs. I've been to a major conference and talked to their mothers.

I would not embark upon a path of trying to put a kid or teen on a diet without strong professional recommendations that I should do so, from people that I respect. Unless the pediatrician believes a referral to a nutritionist is important, I wouldn't consult one. If my child and I did consult one, I would stay in the background and be as low key as possible -- I would do a lot to avoid taking on the primary role of enforcer.

I have heard good things about (nutritionist) Sandra Pinney.


+1

It has the highest death rate of any psychiatric illness. I once had a mother of a 10 year-old at DC's school tell me she had to do something about her daughter's weight. Her daughter was slightly chubby. Three years later she was hospitalized with anorexia. It is a brutal, brutal disease and takes a long time to recover from, in the best of circumstances.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2014 17:23     Subject: At What Age is it Appropriate to Start to Talk about Dieting? (12 YO DS)
People who have not had someone close to them have a bout with an ED may not realize just how dangerous they are, or how insidious and difficult to overcome they can be. Anorexia nervosa has a 10% mortality rate.

More boys and young men are developing EDs. I've been to a major conference and talked to their mothers.

I would not embark upon a path of trying to put a kid or teen on a diet without strong professional recommendations that I should do so, from people that I respect. Unless the pediatrician believes a referral to a nutritionist is important, I wouldn't consult one. If my child and I did consult one, I would stay in the background and be as low key as possible -- I would do a lot to avoid taking on the primary role of enforcer.

I have heard good things about (nutritionist) Sandra Pinney.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2014 17:09     Subject: At What Age is it Appropriate to Start to Talk about Dieting? (12 YO DS)
Holy cow, I'm the PP with the 5ft tall 10yo and I can't believe you all think I'm a nut. I rounded down - his weight is somewhere between 100 and 115 but he only gets weighed at the peds and I was mostly trying to make the point for the PP who mentioned having a child of similar weight. Seriously, I'm not a food crazy person at all - I think I'm the last woman in Bethesda who still eats bread and my kids are probably the only ones at their MCPS school who get a cookie or two in the lunch box every day.

However, my 10yo IS overweight - not wildly, but clearly - and it would be bizarre and unhealthy if I didn't acknowledge that. The measures we've taken are probably insufficient if anything, precisely because we don't want to give him a complex. And also because we can pretty well count on the fact that he's going to grow a lot more in terms of height. Our ped's advice was not to worry about numbers on the scale; just ensure his diet is as healthy as possible and that he's getting lots of physical activity (which parents of older kids who aren't into sports will appreciate is actually not as easy as it was when they are little.)
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2014 16:44     Subject: At What Age is it Appropriate to Start to Talk about Dieting? (12 YO DS)
Anonymous wrote:I just plugged 5' and 100 lbs into a BMI calculator for boys and it came back "healthy weight."

PP you need help.


Try 100.25 and see what you get.

Not everyone who takes actions against weight issues needs help. Try to give us parent benefit of the doubt, will you?
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2014 11:52     Subject: At What Age is it Appropriate to Start to Talk about Dieting? (12 YO DS)
Anonymous wrote:Also boys can develop eating disorders. Don't make food an issue.


Yes, my 13 year old nephew is a textbook case. His dad was always so worried about being fat. And now his son is unhealthfully thin. To the point his pedi is concerned.