Anonymous
Post 10/20/2014 23:32     Subject: "Party girl" reputation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I see this attitude especially from professional, successful, well-to-do guys - they are MUCH more secretly conservative than I thought. Why are people still like this in the 21st century?


The conventionally successful guys view women as commodities. This is partly because they view themselves as a commodity, too. I drive *this* car. I make *this* salary. Etc.
I don't think heavy drinking or sleeping around has anything to do with it. I don't think a lot of commentators so far understand the dynamic that you are encountering. It isn't about being an adult (after all, OP said her male co-workers are behaving similarly). It isn't particularly a workplace thing either. Alpha males (with exceptions, of course) are not going to be looking for you, least of all because you are working at the same place. They don't want someone who is working. They want someone who has done what is necessary to commoditize herself in order to easily signal to other alpha males how much money they can afford to spend on their 'acquisition' (girlfriend/wife).

If you didn't catch on to what they are looking for and position yourself to be hot, vapid and expensive to maintain a long time ago, I doubt you would actually enjoy being acquired by one of these guys. Are you a porsche? No? Then stop trying to attract porsche buyers.

I'm a WOHM, BTW, who has encountered plenty of these characters and I've always been astounded at the superficiality of what they want. And I wrote because I, too, thought the slut shaming was bullshit.


Good advice for party girl. Are you trying to land a big man paycheck? I find you pathetic. Sorry. Not into being a commodity personally. BUT, if that's what you want, PP is right. You need to package yourself into the above.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2014 21:16     Subject: "Party girl" reputation
Anonymous wrote:I am real. And yeah I'm starting to realize I should've kept the hook-ups secret and outside of work. Ugh.


Duh.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2014 20:43     Subject: "Party girl" reputation
If you want to hook-up with any guy for sex in a very public way, are you surprised that no one will look at you as anything but a good time girl?

Anonymous
Post 10/20/2014 20:42     Subject: "Party girl" reputation
Anonymous wrote:I am real. And yeah I'm starting to realize I should've kept the hook-ups secret and outside of work. Ugh.


I'm pretty adventurous sexually - swinging, group sex, sex parties, public sex, public BDSM -- but none of that is known at work. As far as anyone at work knows, I am an extremely boring person who never does anything on the weekend.

Example: a friend of mine threw a sex party over Mardi Gras weekend. It was lots of fun. Someone asked me what I did for Mardi Gras. "Oh, I cooked some gumbo and took it over to my friend's house It was really good(That was 100% true.) I didn't explain about the sex party stuff. Co-worker clearly thought I was super boring and said "Oh, that's nice. I guess."
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2014 20:37     Subject: "Party girl" reputation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I see this attitude especially from professional, successful, well-to-do guys - they are MUCH more secretly conservative than I thought. Why are people still like this in the 21st century?


The conventionally successful guys view women as commodities. This is partly because they view themselves as a commodity, too. I drive *this* car. I make *this* salary. Etc.
I don't think heavy drinking or sleeping around has anything to do with it. I don't think a lot of commentators so far understand the dynamic that you are encountering. It isn't about being an adult (after all, OP said her male co-workers are behaving similarly). It isn't particularly a workplace thing either. Alpha males (with exceptions, of course) are not going to be looking for you, least of all because you are working at the same place. They don't want someone who is working. They want someone who has done what is necessary to commoditize herself in order to easily signal to other alpha males how much money they can afford to spend on their 'acquisition' (girlfriend/wife).

If you didn't catch on to what they are looking for and position yourself to be hot, vapid and expensive to maintain a long time ago, I doubt you would actually enjoy being acquired by one of these guys. Are you a porsche? No? Then stop trying to attract porsche buyers.

I'm a WOHM, BTW, who has encountered plenty of these characters and I've always been astounded at the superficiality of what they want. And I wrote because I, too, thought the slut shaming was bullshit.


The goofy partner that I work for had a meltdown when he discovered that the attorney that he was marrying wanted to continue working after they got married. He was deeply shamed by having a working wife. He actually told me that he just didn't know what his friends would think. He was embarrassed that they would think that his wife has to work. She was 10 years younger than him and much hotter than him and at least as smart as him. I told him that he's lucky to have her and gently suggested that he STFU.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2014 20:33     Subject: "Party girl" reputation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You should party with fun, exciting, good looking dudes for the next 2 or 3 years. Then, when you hit 30 - before your looks start to go, you should find a stable, reasonably successful guy to settle down with, even if you wouldn't have bothered hooking up with him in your 20s.


And why should he want to settle with her?


Not OP, but because I have mad skills in bed.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2014 20:26     Subject: "Party girl" reputation
Anonymous wrote:
I see this attitude especially from professional, successful, well-to-do guys - they are MUCH more secretly conservative than I thought. Why are people still like this in the 21st century?


The conventionally successful guys view women as commodities. This is partly because they view themselves as a commodity, too. I drive *this* car. I make *this* salary. Etc.
I don't think heavy drinking or sleeping around has anything to do with it. I don't think a lot of commentators so far understand the dynamic that you are encountering. It isn't about being an adult (after all, OP said her male co-workers are behaving similarly). It isn't particularly a workplace thing either. Alpha males (with exceptions, of course) are not going to be looking for you, least of all because you are working at the same place. They don't want someone who is working. They want someone who has done what is necessary to commoditize herself in order to easily signal to other alpha males how much money they can afford to spend on their 'acquisition' (girlfriend/wife).

If you didn't catch on to what they are looking for and position yourself to be hot, vapid and expensive to maintain a long time ago, I doubt you would actually enjoy being acquired by one of these guys. Are you a porsche? No? Then stop trying to attract porsche buyers.

I'm a WOHM, BTW, who has encountered plenty of these characters and I've always been astounded at the superficiality of what they want. And I wrote because I, too, thought the slut shaming was bullshit.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2014 20:22     Subject: "Party girl" reputation
This is how herpes started
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2014 19:56     Subject: "Party girl" reputation
Anonymous wrote:So now I'm being slut-shamed by misogynists and told I'm fake, great.


Nobody is slut shaming you, they're anti-idiot, which is the what you're acting like.

Hooking up with people you work with is loser material, honey. Hate to break it to you.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2014 19:54     Subject: "Party girl" reputation
Anonymous wrote:My now-husband and I met in law school after many, many beers and some questionable decisions.


Including law school, right?
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2014 18:33     Subject: "Party girl" reputation
OP, this is an attempt to shame men for their preferences.

"If you express this preference, it will make me feel bad about it, and if I do it's your fault." No, in actuality, if you make bad choices in your life, you're going to be judged for them, people may even assume you're an unreliable or irresponsible person.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2014 17:58     Subject: "Party girl" reputation
Anonymous wrote:You should party with fun, exciting, good looking dudes for the next 2 or 3 years. Then, when you hit 30 - before your looks start to go, you should find a stable, reasonably successful guy to settle down with, even if you wouldn't have bothered hooking up with him in your 20s.


more and more guys do not want used up goods that wouldn't have given them a chance in their teens and 20's.

Anonymous
Post 10/20/2014 17:46     Subject: Re:"Party girl" reputation
This thread reminds of a) the hooking up with multiple guys in the skybox thread and b) the seen-by-guy-A-laughing-and-having-drinks with B thread. Just an opportunity for some troll to get all the misogynists to call slut.

But just in case, OP, there are plenty of us who like to party and drink and have sex who have gone on to settle down and get married and live happily ever after. Just tone it down with the work crowd and work on expanding your social circle to find someone to date seriously if that's what you want.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2014 17:42     Subject: "Party girl" reputation
Anonymous wrote:I am real. And yeah I'm starting to realize I should've kept the hook-ups secret and outside of work. Ugh.


You're screwed in that circle . Who cares , work colleagues are the worst circle, find another.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2014 17:40     Subject: "Party girl" reputation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You should party with fun, exciting, good looking dudes for the next 2 or 3 years. Then, when you hit 30 - before your looks start to go, you should find a stable, reasonably successful guy to settle down with, even if you wouldn't have bothered hooking up with him in your 20s.


And why should he want to settle with her?


Because he's starved for attention on account of the pretty girls never paying attention to him until now when they're ready to settle down.