I think it depends how well you know the hostess. Is she your good friend? Then if you're early, help her with last minute prep. Is it a neighbor or someone you don't know so well? Then please don't show up early-- it's really rude.

Anonymous wrote:Everybody knows that the proper time is a good 15min late and up to 30. 10 min early? No way!

If I am ever even 1 minute late to anything my mother will beat my ass. I was taught long ago 5 minutes early is on time and being on time is late. I'm not being rude when I show up early I'm living as I was raised and I don't want to get hit.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't arrive early or late. I try to come at the exact time the person asked me to.

+1. If you show up early, I'll cheerfully pour you a glass of wine and put you to work. If you show up 10 or 15min late, I'm stressed as to where you are.

Yes, I tend to be one of those people who is early to everything and then sits in my car.

I host a ton of parties and my biggest pet peeve is guests who arrive early. Totally rude. Please do not so this. Come 15 minutes late.

I would try to avoid this. The general rule of thumb (in America -- if you're hosting foreign visitors the game totally changes) seems to be that one should arrive between 5 and 10 minutes after the stated arrival time. If you can't or don't want to do this, at least don't arrive before you're expected to -- the last 10 minutes are generally when I'm changing clothes or finishing last minute preparations.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I often spend hours cleaning and cooking and wait until the last ten minutes to finish getting dressed. Don't do it.

This is often what I do as well -- change clothes at the last minute. I don't particularly want you to show up right then.

+1. I would be pretty pissed since at 10 till, I'm in the kitchen putting the potatoes or other last-minute type dish on so that they'll be ready at at the right time. Then I run up to change.

I'm referring here to what OP asked about - a "dinner party" - which to me is by definition more formal and involves more effort and timing than, say, a BBQ or a Super Bowl party or pizza and games, in which case my friends could come whenever and I'd hand them a beer. But a "dinner party"? Showing up early is very inconsiderate.

Anonymous wrote:I often spend hours cleaning and cooking and wait until the last ten minutes to finish getting dressed. Don't do it.

This is often what I do as well -- change clothes at the last minute. I don't particularly want you to show up right then.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not fancy. If I've invited you to my house for dinner, we're friends. So if you get there 10 min early -yay! More time to hang out and catch up. Get there 30 min early-- wow you're a real friend-- you want to chat, just us for a few minutes and you're willing to taste something and tell me if it's done, help me set the table, stir the pot while I go change. It's nice.

Me, too. But, then again, I don't host fancy parties where I have to change clothes before guests arrive. If it's a fancy party or one where I'm not good friends with the host, I would arrive 5 minutes after the appointed hour.

I often spend hours cleaning and cooking and wait until the last ten minutes to finish getting dressed. Don't do it.

Anonymous wrote:Don't. Lots of things get done by hosts in those last 10 minutes, and if you're early it almost certainly will not be appreciated. Why would you do this anyway?

Don't do it. I entertain a lot, and this could ruin my whole night. Those minutes are often crucial.

You can come early but I'll probably include you in my final preparations, so be prepared to work (with wine & conversation, of course).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the host isn't ready by 10 of, then s/he is just disorganized. At that point, host should be sitting down with a glass of wine, waiting for guests to arrive.

Sorry, but lots of dinner preparations are very last-minute. S/He is not disorganized, but instead is lovingly cooking a fancy dinner for you.

As someone who actually cooks for a dinner party (instead of throwing a casserole of baked ziti at the guests) this is true.

Making a nice dinner is all about the last second.

Everybody knows that the proper time is a good 15min late and up to 30. 10 min early? No way!

I'm not fancy. If I've invited you to my house for dinner, we're friends. So if you get there 10 min early -yay! More time to hang out and catch up. Get there 30 min early-- wow you're a real friend-- you want to chat, just us for a few minutes and you're willing to taste something and tell me if it's done, help me set the table, stir the pot while I go change. It's nice.

Anonymous wrote:Man, some of you are very uptight. I host lots of dinners and it wouldn't bother me at all.

same

And b/c you're a pro, you roll with it. It's about the food, drinks and company - NOT the "rules."