The formula comment, just give the honest answer and do your best not to be annoyed. Q: Are you still breastfeeding? A: Yes Q: But why? Doesn't she need formula? A: Because it's working for us and our peditrician is very pleased with baby's progress.

The condescending admonitions, just ignore and do your best not to be annoyed.

When they offer to babysit, say you'd love to take them up on their offer but there have been some updates in safety precautions and you'd feel most comfortable if they'd be willing to take a grandparent class offered at your nearest hospital. If they agree, you pay the fee and sign them up. Then, go & enjoy a date night with your husband. If that goes well, then try having a weekly date night if your ILs are up for it. Once you feel more comfortable, you revisit the daycare discussion.

Try to wait this out anothe rmonth OP. I do understand your frustration. Is this the first grandchild? some of the differenences are generational or just forgotten what its like to be a new mom. The first few months are so challenging for a new parent, so many things that bother you now will roll off your back a year from now. I was pumping multiple times a day and my own mom asked "why don't you just pump all you need for the day ONE time"--she honestly had no idea how nursing, pumping or supply worked. She really believed that I could just hook the pump up one time a day and pump out 6 bottles at once! For some reason that bothered me so much but I was also really struggling with pumping. Now it just makes me sad that my mom had children during a time where breastfeeding was frownwed upon and abolsutely no one talked to her about it or just how her body naturally functions as a woman and mother. In the mean time, your husband needs to run interference if it really upsets you right now.

So I just had my first baby over the summer. My MIL drove me INSANE the first month of my DD's life with some of her comments. I really felt like she didn't know how to hold the baby and she kept asking me if we'd given her a bottle yet. She even asked me that in the hospital! What's weird is the answer was yes (she had to be supplemented for the first week of life) but she STILL KEPT ASKING ME all the damn time. She was very nervous the baby wouldn't ever take a bottle.

Ahem.

I will say though, that now at about 3 months, things are better. I think my hormones were INSANE. I honestly felt sort of physically sick when other people held the baby if I thought they weren't doing it right. It was very hard for me to watch my MIL handle the baby. But the primal urge to rip the baby away from her passed. She's a good grandmother. She still drives me crazy (and asked if I was weaning to go back to work, and if the baby will take a bottle) but it's in less primal ways and more normal annoying ways like it was pre-baby.

I snorted when I read that they reminded you to support the head. Sorry, but that's so meddling it's pretty hilarious.

Don't use them as daycare.

Anonymous wrote:They sound awful. Please send them to me. My In laws are not interested at all in any of their grandkids. No visits, no calls, no offering to spend time with them. So I will gladly take your in laws.

Oh btw, in laws live 40 minutes away and we only see them 3 times a year.

sanctimonius much?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They sound awful. Please send them to me. My In laws are not interested at all in any of their grandkids. No visits, no calls, no offering to spend time with them. So I will gladly take your in laws.

Oh btw, in laws live 40 minutes away and we only see them 3 times a year.

I would MUCH rather my horrible ILs stayed out of our lives completely.

Yes! For me what PP describes is the ideal scenario. My ILs are good parents and involved grandparents, but they are awful to me. I would be very happy if I don't see them ever again.

Buy them a puppy.

Anonymous wrote:They sound awful. Please send them to me. My In laws are not interested at all in any of their grandkids. No visits, no calls, no offering to spend time with them. So I will gladly take your in laws.

Oh btw, in laws live 40 minutes away and we only see them 3 times a year.

I would MUCH rather my horrible ILs stayed out of our lives completely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They sound awful. Please send them to me. My In laws are not interested at all in any of their grandkids. No visits, no calls, no offering to spend time with them. So I will gladly take your in laws.

Oh btw, in laws live 40 minutes away and we only see them 3 times a year.

Thank you for the perspective. I know it could be a lot worse!

+1 Same with us, but 10 minutes away! You just know they must have been terrible parents, right?!

Anonymous wrote:They sound awful. Please send them to me. My In laws are not interested at all in any of their grandkids. No visits, no calls, no offering to spend time with them. So I will gladly take your in laws.

Oh btw, in laws live 40 minutes away and we only see them 3 times a year.

Thank you for the perspective. I know it could be a lot worse!