Anonymous
Post 10/28/2014 10:33     Subject: How do you feel about being an older Dad?
I'm depressed by the nastiness and superior jerkiness on this thread. Not all of us meet our spouses in our teens and 20s. So for people that do...you really think we should just choose not to have children to accommodate your narrow worldview? I really need to quit this site. It's making me hate people way too much.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2014 10:30     Subject: Re:How do you feel about being an older Dad?
50 is old for a dude to be having a baby. Being well-past retirement and earning social security benefits while your child is in HS is bizarre.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2014 22:47     Subject: Re:How do you feel about being an older Dad?
Anonymous wrote:Having children past the age of 45 is pretty selfish, IMO.


Stop fooling yourself that you are any better. Having children at any age including in you 20's and 30's is pretty selfish. Having children over 45 is no more selfish than having children when younger.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2014 22:09     Subject: How do you feel about being an older Dad?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My dad had me when he was 43.

He's 79 now, and Im in my mid-30s and his health is declining rapidly.

Makes me sad we wont be around to see my DC grow up. I still want another and it pains me to think he may never meet him/her!!

So, I speak from a sad daughter here. ;-/


Same; all this.


Eh, my DH was a similar age when our three kids were born. The oldest is now 11 and DH is still going strong. Meanwhile, my father who was 29 when I was born, died five years ago from an extremely rare form of cancer when he was 64 years old and I was 35.

You never know what's going to happen in life, so live for the day.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2014 22:02     Subject: Re:How do you feel about being an older Dad?
Anonymous wrote:Having children past the age of 45 is pretty selfish, IMO.


Your opinion is based on what? The age of the father when a child is born?

Anonymous
Post 10/27/2014 21:39     Subject: How do you feel about being an older Dad?
My dad died when I was a kid, and I'd give anything to have him around, at any age-- I wouldn't care if he were 70 today, or 95, it doesn't matter! A dad is a dad. It's not selfish to have children-- it's selfless.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2014 20:12     Subject: Re:How do you feel about being an older Dad?
Having children past the age of 45 is pretty selfish, IMO.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2014 19:06     Subject: How do you feel about being an older Dad?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My dad was 22 and my mom was 17, when my oldest sibling was born. He was 28, mom was 24 when the youngest was born.

It was wonderful for us because we did not have to care for them until we were in our 40s - 50s.

DH and I had our youngest at 40. My mom has been able to help all of us with our children because she is in very good health.

I hope I can be healthy for the next 20 years. I know I will miss out on some stuff with my kids and will not enjoy my grandkids like my mom did.

On the other hand - people are deferring getting married and having kids because of the pressure of education and career. My mom and dad were of a generation where early marriage and having kids early was the norm. Now, they will be seen as children having children.

I think as long as one is healthy and happy, having kids at 40, 50 is no big deal.

Better an engaged older father than a deadbeat teen dad.


+1

My dad was 37 when I was born. Probably not as "old" as people here are referring to, but he's now 72 and his health is ok, not great. I'm pregnant with my first and not at all bitter that he won't be around forever to see the kid grow up. He doesn't owe me anything. All he owed me was love and a proper upbringing and I got that from him in spades.

IMO people really put a big burden on their parents to be these amazing, storybook grandparents.


+2

My parents had me when they were 28 and 26 and were absent grandparents. Saw my kids maybe once a yr. Chose to retire in another continent since they retired in their 50ties and liked to travel and not babysit small children. Good thing too since they died in their 60ties and I don't begrudge how they lived their life.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2014 13:22     Subject: Re:How do you feel about being an older Dad?
Anonymous wrote:I know a few dads in Arlington that just had kids at 50-years old. I can't help but thinks---WOW--you'll be almost 70 at their HS graduation.


My DH fits in this category. If our kids have their 70 year old dad at HS graduation I would be THRILLED. As would they.

I wonder why you are so judgmental.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2014 13:20     Subject: How do you feel about being an older Dad?
Anonymous wrote:My dad was 22 and my mom was 17, when my oldest sibling was born. He was 28, mom was 24 when the youngest was born.

It was wonderful for us because we did not have to care for them until we were in our 40s - 50s.

DH and I had our youngest at 40. My mom has been able to help all of us with our children because she is in very good health.

I hope I can be healthy for the next 20 years. I know I will miss out on some stuff with my kids and will not enjoy my grandkids like my mom did.

On the other hand - people are deferring getting married and having kids because of the pressure of education and career. My mom and dad were of a generation where early marriage and having kids early was the norm. Now, they will be seen as children having children.

I think as long as one is healthy and happy, having kids at 40, 50 is no big deal.

Better an engaged older father than a deadbeat teen dad.


+1

My dad was 37 when I was born. Probably not as "old" as people here are referring to, but he's now 72 and his health is ok, not great. I'm pregnant with my first and not at all bitter that he won't be around forever to see the kid grow up. He doesn't owe me anything. All he owed me was love and a proper upbringing and I got that from him in spades.

IMO people really put a big burden on their parents to be these amazing, storybook grandparents.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2014 13:19     Subject: How do you feel about being an older Dad?
I also know some dads who died very young, leaving their young children with just a dim memory of them. I am sure these children would love for a 70 year old dad to be around at their HS graduation.

The point is that there are no guarantees in life. Regardless of how old is your dad, if he loves you and spends time with you, that what matters.

- daugher of a very loving man, who was incredibly young when I was born.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2014 13:13     Subject: Re:How do you feel about being an older Dad?
I know a few dads in Arlington that just had kids at 50-years old. I can't help but thinks---WOW--you'll be almost 70 at their HS graduation.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2014 10:37     Subject: How do you feel about being an older Dad?
Anonymous wrote:I think it is selfish and gross. My dad was 50 when I was born. We had 8 kids in the family. My dad was 42 when my first sibling was born. I say tie it up if you don't use it young. You don't want a dad who is so old when you're a kid. People are fooling themselves if they think it is ok.


So you'd rather not have been born?
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2014 10:31     Subject: How do you feel about being an older Dad?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another advise is do not dress poorly.

My older daddy often dressed poorly bc he didn't care anymore. So not only he was the oldest daddy but also the poorest dressed daddy. I was pretty embarrassed when he showed up in school occasionally.


Wow. He raised a really shallow child. How sad. I doubt that was a function of his age, though.


So if u want to dress like a homeless, no one will care except your kids.

Hope ur judgementl attitude works well with ur kids.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2014 10:19     Subject: How do you feel about being an older Dad?
Anonymous wrote:Another advise is do not dress poorly.

My older daddy often dressed poorly bc he didn't care anymore. So not only he was the oldest daddy but also the poorest dressed daddy. I was pretty embarrassed when he showed up in school occasionally.


Wow. He raised a really shallow child. How sad. I doubt that was a function of his age, though.