Anonymous
Post 10/16/2014 13:31     Subject: Terrible Crash Leaves 10 Oprphans in PG County
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one that thinks doing laundry for myself and eight kids would make SENSE at a laundromat?

If I did it at my house with my one washer and one dryer, it would take days. Load a couple of the big industrial sized laundromat machines up and be done in a couple of hours.

Even if I DID have the machines, with eight kids I'd probably find it simpler to just do one (really) big run to the laundromat once or twice a week.


Good point.

But the issue of the children/laundromat is still irrelevant. Parents died -- died! -- along with their kids, pulverized by an out-of-control driver, and the reaction of some is to create a bogus scale on which to judge whether they are worthy of empathy. That is cold.


Total agreement with both of these things. Judgement of the families is a pretty disgusting reaction to have in the face of this kind of tragedy.

However, if the laundromat issue were relevant, which it is not, it would still be a really stupid way of deciding whether the mother was sufficiently responsible (financially and otherwise) to raise the family she chose to have (which really isn't a bunch of random strangers' business anyway...). There are plenty of perfectly good reasons to go to the laundromat.

I'm relatively well off (although probably not by the strangely high standards of this forum) with only 2 kids, but I've gone to the laundromat many times -
1. when our washing machine broke and it took around a week to get it repaired
2. when I need to wash bedding or something else that's too big to fit in our washer
3. when doing a ton of laundry at once, such as when packing for or returning from a vacation
4. between soccer games at one of my kid's tournaments to dry the soaked uniform
So, does that make me too "low class" and "irresponsible" to have kids or to be worthy of a compassionate reaction in the face of a horrible tragedy? Ridiculous . And pathetic. What kind of people are on here who actually think like that?
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2014 13:13     Subject: Terrible Crash Leaves 10 Oprphans in PG County
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/crime/after-md-crash-killing-5-families-must-determine-care-for-10-kids-who-lost-moms/2014/10/14/c6fad55e-53b7-11e4-892e-602188e70e9c_story.html

The one woman had 8 kids.

And no, they are not orphans unless their father(s )are also dead. The article doesn't mention anything about them.


Actually it does:
“She was just doing her motherly duties,” said Anthony Hardy, 22, Curtis’s stepson. “She did everything a mother was supposed to do. She put her children before everyone.”

...

"Hardy said his father will take care of Curtis’s two oldest children, Hardy’s half brother and half sister. The family is still making arrangements for the others. Fundraising Web sites have been set up for the family, both to pay for burials and the care of the children who have lost their mothers."


So the father of the step-child will take care of the next two oldest children. The family is still trying to make arrangements for the other children, which sounds as if the other father(s) are not in the picture.


Hm, I assumed that he was the father of the younger children and had become the step-parent and respomsible party of Curtis' two older children.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2014 13:08     Subject: Terrible Crash Leaves 10 Oprphans in PG County
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one that thinks doing laundry for myself and eight kids would make SENSE at a laundromat?

If I did it at my house with my one washer and one dryer, it would take days. Load a couple of the big industrial sized laundromat machines up and be done in a couple of hours.

Even if I DID have the machines, with eight kids I'd probably find it simpler to just do one (really) big run to the laundromat once or twice a week.


Good point.

But the issue of the children/laundromat is still irrelevant. Parents died -- died! -- along with their kids, pulverized by an out-of-control driver, and the reaction of some is to create a bogus scale on which to judge whether they are worthy of empathy. That is cold.


Quoted PP here - I completely agree. But sometimes people need to change their frame of reference before they can move past the topic they're stuck on.

Now, off to look up the place to donate to help out...
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2014 13:05     Subject: Terrible Crash Leaves 10 Oprphans in PG County
Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one that thinks doing laundry for myself and eight kids would make SENSE at a laundromat?

If I did it at my house with my one washer and one dryer, it would take days. Load a couple of the big industrial sized laundromat machines up and be done in a couple of hours.

Even if I DID have the machines, with eight kids I'd probably find it simpler to just do one (really) big run to the laundromat once or twice a week.


Good point.

But the issue of the children/laundromat is still irrelevant. Parents died -- died! -- along with their kids, pulverized by an out-of-control driver, and the reaction of some is to create a bogus scale on which to judge whether they are worthy of empathy. That is cold.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2014 13:02     Subject: Terrible Crash Leaves 10 Oprphans in PG County
I wonder who is going to be handling the money that is donated and leftover from funeral expenses. That is my one big hesitation to giving money. Will it be given to a dad who has come out of the woodwork to claim his "orphan"? Or will a responsible 3rd party be in charge?
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2014 12:46     Subject: Terrible Crash Leaves 10 Oprphans in PG County
Surely the father of the six week old at least has to be in the picture.

The other deadbeat dads will pop out of the woodwork with lawyers to sue the other drivers insurance.


It is sad to see an entire article about ?ho will care for the children with no mention of their other parent!
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2014 12:43     Subject: Terrible Crash Leaves 10 Oprphans in PG County
Am I the only one that thinks doing laundry for myself and eight kids would make SENSE at a laundromat?

If I did it at my house with my one washer and one dryer, it would take days. Load a couple of the big industrial sized laundromat machines up and be done in a couple of hours.

Even if I DID have the machines, with eight kids I'd probably find it simpler to just do one (really) big run to the laundromat once or twice a week.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2014 11:17     Subject: Terrible Crash Leaves 10 Oprphans in PG County
Anonymous wrote:Is there a fund set up or anything? This is tragic.


http://www.gofundme.com/fswcio

You can also donate directly to the funeral home for expenses.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2014 11:17     Subject: Terrible Crash Leaves 10 Oprphans in PG County
It is cruel, because what is done is done. They still had a mother who loved and cared for them. A mother who is now gone.

EMPATHY.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2014 11:12     Subject: Terrible Crash Leaves 10 Oprphans in PG County
Is there a fund set up or anything? This is tragic.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2014 10:58     Subject: Terrible Crash Leaves 10 Oprphans in PG County
When a single mom in Ashburn was struck by a car on her morning run, the community raised over a hundred thousand dollars for her two children.

It would be nice to see the same kind of love and support for the families of these women, whose children are no less deserving. I will be sharing their story.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2014 10:38     Subject: Terrible Crash Leaves 10 Oprphans in PG County
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ten children being left motherless is a tragedy, pure and simple. I don't see how anyone could think otherwise.


Who said it isn't?


It seems the PPs who are judging the "bad mother" aspects don't think it's much of a tragedy. After all, it was just two low-class black women, one of whom clearly had far too many kids anyway because she was driving to a laundromat.

My own opinion is that criticizing a dead woman for having too many kids is itself pretty damn low class.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2014 10:33     Subject: Terrible Crash Leaves 10 Oprphans in PG County
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The story says the mom was going to the laundromat. You can't afford to raise 8 kids by 35 yrs if you can't afford a place without a washer dryer in the unit or building. Incredibly irresponsible to just have kids like that.


Because that's the story -- what a bad mother she was, to have children even though she didn't have a washing machine and dryer in the building? Really?


Yes, really. It's not just the w/d. If you have to go to the laundromat every weekend it probably means you don't have much disposable income. After I had a child I realized how much money it takes to provide quality care for her and be in a not so bad school district, and provide optional things like extracurricular activities.
Bringing home the baby from the hospital you start with a car seat, crib. If you work, quality daycare (some of those lower end in home daycares made me really uncomfirtable but even those were 800/month). Even if the child has no crib they need some space to sleep. Fresh food, even cheap target diapers are 15 cents apiece, activities, roach free home, safer neighborhood, the list just goes on. I was a SAHM once and I know how hard it is just to spend a lot of quality time with 1 or 2 kids. Just the time you spend trying to feed them and bathe them and do those types of survival things takes hours with babies and toddlers. Older children will have their own needs and need your attention and sometimes need to be dropped off and picked up etc. 8? Come on. Do you think all this mom needs is love to care for these children? You are kidding yourself if this single mom's kids were not shortchanged in many different ways, also with tangible and intangible things.


So you feel bad for the mom of 2 who died, but not the mom of 8, because she was irresponsible in having 8 kids. But probably the mom of 2 kids shouldn't have had even 2, because she was at the Laundromat also? I'm not following your logic on this, I think you need to explain it further. In fact, let's also bring in another mom of 5 or 6 kids who died when a tree fell on her car a few years ago (one of her daughters died also). Was she irresponsible for having so many kids? She was white and lived in Bethesda, so probably not, because she wasn't out at a Laundromat.

These poor women were out running errands, minding their own business, not hurting anyone, and they were killed, and their 10 children will suffer because of it. There's nothing else that needs to be said, and no judgment needs to be passed. If they'd had 0 kids, it would still be a horrible tragedy, because the accident was completely senseless and not their fault at all.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2014 10:26     Subject: Terrible Crash Leaves 10 Oprphans in PG County
Anonymous wrote:Ten children being left motherless is a tragedy, pure and simple. I don't see how anyone could think otherwise.


Who said it isn't?
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2014 10:25     Subject: Terrible Crash Leaves 10 Oprphans in PG County
Ten children being left motherless is a tragedy, pure and simple. I don't see how anyone could think otherwise.