The doctors and nurses have seen it all. I tell myself this. And then I imagine them on the throes of labor and don't feel so bad.

Just make sure you don't give birth at a teaching hospital.

Anonymous wrote:Once the pain starts, you don't give a f#*$

Word. It's one of the signposts of labor. Then you have endorphins on the other side. Then you have a newborn so you forget until one day it all comes back to you....and by then enough time has passed that its funny.

Hah! I have an immigrant story for you. I come from a very conservative culture. I had not even ever had a pap smear until I married and came to this country.

So, when the labor pain started and I landed up in the hospital I was relieved to see the old fatherly male doctor who was my OB/Gyn. He had already seen me down there and so I would not have to have someone new look at me there. See, I was trying to limit the number of people who had seen my hoohah!

Anyways - the labor starts in earnest. My modesty rapidly flies out of the window in the face of the relentless pain. I was exhausted from the long labor and the pushing was not budging the baby. Suddenly, two men look inside the room. They were EMTs in training and they needed to assist with birth as a requirement for the certification. Would I mind if they came in and witnessed?

By that time, the nurse was pushing back on my leg and shouting..."push, push, push". I looked at the EMTs and yelled " Don't just stand there, Hold my leg back" . So these EMTs are holding my leg back and I am pushing and swearing. I am sure I pooped and peed and bled and what not. Anyways the baby comes out and then I am crying and we took a picture with all of them. I did not care that unknown men had seen this whole thing or that I soiled myself.

Many years later, I am still shy about going to my OB/Gyn. I still skip my pap-smears regularly. However, I have no feeling of embarrassment or humiliation about my experience with childbirth. I felt such an high afterwords like I was the most incredible woman who had accomplished the most awesome thing in the world! Seriously.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm pregnant for the third time and right there with you. I TOTALLY care about being naked and splayed open! And yes, even after the pain started.

Here's what I've done and will do again:

1. I sleep naked sometimes, or just in panties. Just to kind of ... get comfortable with being naked.
2. My husband knows he is to stay near my head.
3. My midwife and the doula are the only two people looking between my legs. Nobody else comes in, unless there's some sort of issue too big for them to handle.

We've done it this way twice and it's worked out just fine. Except that last time after DD's head was out the midwife said "Hey DH, want to deliver your baby?" and he reached over, pulled her the rest of the way out and saw my vagina. Which did not thrill me, but he's never mentioned anything about that specifically, and we're pregnant again so clearly he's not too grossed out to have sex with me.

It's one thing to be nervous about being naked in front of people...but you have to practice being naked on your own? Are you a nevernude?

There are dozens of us. DOZENS!

I worried about the pooping issue throughout, not going to lie. It even affected my ability to push effectively. I am still not 100% whether or not I did in fact poop and I won't ever ask my husband.

Other than that, I did not have any sense of modesty.

I cared when random people came in while being stitched up. But during the agony? Nope, modesty as a concept did not exist in my brain.

Anonymous wrote:The Salvation Army Band could've paraded through the room while I pooped during delivery, and I wouldn't have cared. I promise.

I definitely cared when I got out of bed the first time after giving birth, and there was a big pile of crap right on the bed. I didn't even knew that I'd pooped myself. The nurse just grabbed the sheets into a ball and threw them in the huge biohazard bin. I asked her if she could flush it first, and she didn't act like it was a big deal. Then I fainted on the toilet and they had to bring me back with smelling salts. They just wanted to get me back in a wheelchair, and I was begging to wipe my behind. They finally agreed and storm next to me holding me up. Then I got poop on my hand. I was mortified. They couldn't have cared less.
You also talked about pain, but if you are going to get the epi, you can get it whenever you want. I had zero pain with my first. I got the epidural early since I knew shift change was coming, and I didn't want the pain to start and have to wait in agony. I didn't feel anything at all. Your husband will also be asked to hold a leg. There's just one nurse and a doctor. Everyone is cheering for you, and it's hard work. I am the it's modest person in the world, and I didn't care at all about who saw what when I was pushing (and it took 4 hours).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm pregnant for the third time and right there with you. I TOTALLY care about being naked and splayed open! And yes, even after the pain started.

Here's what I've done and will do again:

1. I sleep naked sometimes, or just in panties. Just to kind of ... get comfortable with being naked.
2. My husband knows he is to stay near my head.
3. My midwife and the doula are the only two people looking between my legs. Nobody else comes in, unless there's some sort of issue too big for them to handle.

We've done it this way twice and it's worked out just fine. Except that last time after DD's head was out the midwife said "Hey DH, want to deliver your baby?" and he reached over, pulled her the rest of the way out and saw my vagina. Which did not thrill me, but he's never mentioned anything about that specifically, and we're pregnant again so clearly he's not too grossed out to have sex with me.

It's one thing to be nervous about being naked in front of people...but you have to practice being naked on your own? Are you a nevernude?

Oh, don't be silly. I'm almost always naked in the shower!

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm pregnant for the third time and right there with you. I TOTALLY care about being naked and splayed open! And yes, even after the pain started.

Here's what I've done and will do again:

1. I sleep naked sometimes, or just in panties. Just to kind of ... get comfortable with being naked.
2. My husband knows he is to stay near my head.
3. My midwife and the doula are the only two people looking between my legs. Nobody else comes in, unless there's some sort of issue too big for them to handle.

We've done it this way twice and it's worked out just fine. Except that last time after DD's head was out the midwife said "Hey DH, want to deliver your baby?" and he reached over, pulled her the rest of the way out and saw my vagina. Which did not thrill me, but he's never mentioned anything about that specifically, and we're pregnant again so clearly he's not too grossed out to have sex with me.

It's one thing to be nervous about being naked in front of people...but you have to practice being naked on your own? Are you a nevernude?

Not "everyone" (as you say) are there staring at you. DH stood by my shoulders, 1 nurse, my doc, and a 2nd nurse came at the end.

Plus, all modesty flues out the window.

You could give birth a tub or on all 4s if you wanted.

OP,

The more you worry, the more tense you will become about everything, and the more pain you will experience, because you won't be able to go with the flow and embrace what's happening.

What are you doing to prepare for labour? I highly recommend a Bradley class if you're not too far along, not for the anti-medical establishment rhetoric, but for the wealth of information it will give you about the natural stages of labour and it's many variations (you won't get it in as helpful detail elsewhere). You don't need to go from there to a med-free birth. However you will feel much more knowledgeable and confident about yourself.

OP, I'm pregnant for the third time and right there with you. I TOTALLY care about being naked and splayed open! And yes, even after the pain started.

Here's what I've done and will do again:

1. I sleep naked sometimes, or just in panties. Just to kind of ... get comfortable with being naked.
2. My husband knows he is to stay near my head.
3. My midwife and the doula are the only two people looking between my legs. Nobody else comes in, unless there's some sort of issue too big for them to handle.

We've done it this way twice and it's worked out just fine. Except that last time after DD's head was out the midwife said "Hey DH, want to deliver your baby?" and he reached over, pulled her the rest of the way out and saw my vagina. Which did not thrill me, but he's never mentioned anything about that specifically, and we're pregnant again so clearly he's not too grossed out to have sex with me.

It is extremely embarrassing the first few times you push and you end up crapping while your husband is looking.

Having contractions in public is embarrassing. Once you get into the delivery room and it's all medical professionals, then you won't need to worry about that any more.