Anonymous wrote:Miserable fat people want everyone to wallow in their shameful disgusting ways.

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Anonymous wrote:I would maybe try to see if you're being preachy or doing that whole "zealotry of the recent convert" thing where you act like you're the first person who ever discovered healthy eating or exercise and now you have to tell everyone else the error of their ways. Not saying you are necessarily doing that, just saying that would be one reason for the reaction you're getting.

Also, if your new eating habits mean that it takes you 10 minutes to order at a restaurant - that can be pretty annoying. I have friends like that and after they've asked about the calorie content of 6 different entrees and made 3 substitutions, I want to scream.

Third possibility is that nobody cares and you're being sensitive and upset because you wanted only positive feedback. when frankly, most people might not care. you weren't obese before, just a normal size going to a smaller normal size.

OP here and as I said my husband and I are very active so we were talking about our hobbies, but I don't think we were doing it in a negative way. We were going to go geocaching the next day on our hike so we were asking anyone if they wanted to join us. One couple laughed and asked us why we would want to spend the day hiking. As far as ordering food goes, I knew I wanted fish as soon as I saw it on the menu. I actually probably made my mind up the fastest. As I said in a pp, maybe I am being too sensitive. I'm just trying to make new friends and it's hard when they all already know each other and they seemed so quick to judge about the fish, the hiking, and only having one beer.

I think the PP's explanation of the possible options is a good one, and I would really think about that. When you declined a second beer, did you say anything about the calories? or the carbs? or anything other than "No, thanks, I'm good"? When you ordered the fish, did you say anything about the calories or how healthy it was? Or did you just say, "I love fish; I'll have the grilled salmon with asparagus"?

But also, if you have friends who laugh at the idea of hiking, then you maybe just need new friends. Who in their right mind thinks hiking is a strange activity?

OP here and I don't know what you want me to say. I'm far from perfect, but I did not advertise in anyway that I watch what I eat besides ordering what I ordered. I was excited to order the fish, so maybe that's what threw them because things seemed to go down hill from there. I only had one beer because I was full and I was planning to drive home, I wanted my DH to enjoy himself. I'm also not much of a drinker and usually only drink socially. They were the ones who made a huge deal about the beer not me. I think my only response was no thank you, one women's response to that was "come on splurge a little". I will admit I'm a little up tight about drinking because my father was an alcoholic and died from liver problems. I think I just need to check out some meetups or something and meet some different people.

so you've always had only one beer around these people and only now they are pointing it out?

by the way this is a serious question and if the answer is yes - then I think you have your answer that these people are jerks. new friends!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would maybe try to see if you're being preachy or doing that whole "zealotry of the recent convert" thing where you act like you're the first person who ever discovered healthy eating or exercise and now you have to tell everyone else the error of their ways. Not saying you are necessarily doing that, just saying that would be one reason for the reaction you're getting.

Also, if your new eating habits mean that it takes you 10 minutes to order at a restaurant - that can be pretty annoying. I have friends like that and after they've asked about the calorie content of 6 different entrees and made 3 substitutions, I want to scream.

Third possibility is that nobody cares and you're being sensitive and upset because you wanted only positive feedback. when frankly, most people might not care. you weren't obese before, just a normal size going to a smaller normal size.

OP here and as I said my husband and I are very active so we were talking about our hobbies, but I don't think we were doing it in a negative way. We were going to go geocaching the next day on our hike so we were asking anyone if they wanted to join us. One couple laughed and asked us why we would want to spend the day hiking. As far as ordering food goes, I knew I wanted fish as soon as I saw it on the menu. I actually probably made my mind up the fastest. As I said in a pp, maybe I am being too sensitive. I'm just trying to make new friends and it's hard when they all already know each other and they seemed so quick to judge about the fish, the hiking, and only having one beer.

I think the PP's explanation of the possible options is a good one, and I would really think about that. When you declined a second beer, did you say anything about the calories? or the carbs? or anything other than "No, thanks, I'm good"? When you ordered the fish, did you say anything about the calories or how healthy it was? Or did you just say, "I love fish; I'll have the grilled salmon with asparagus"?

But also, if you have friends who laugh at the idea of hiking, then you maybe just need new friends. Who in their right mind thinks hiking is a strange activity?

OP here and I don't know what you want me to say. I'm far from perfect, but I did not advertise in anyway that I watch what I eat besides ordering what I ordered. I was excited to order the fish, so maybe that's what threw them because things seemed to go down hill from there. I only had one beer because I was full and I was planning to drive home, I wanted my DH to enjoy himself. I'm also not much of a drinker and usually only drink socially. They were the ones who made a huge deal about the beer not me. I think my only response was no thank you, one women's response to that was "come on splurge a little". I will admit I'm a little up tight about drinking because my father was an alcoholic and died from liver problems. I think I just need to check out some meetups or something and meet some different people.

so you've always had only one beer around these people and only now they are pointing it out?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would maybe try to see if you're being preachy or doing that whole "zealotry of the recent convert" thing where you act like you're the first person who ever discovered healthy eating or exercise and now you have to tell everyone else the error of their ways. Not saying you are necessarily doing that, just saying that would be one reason for the reaction you're getting.

Also, if your new eating habits mean that it takes you 10 minutes to order at a restaurant - that can be pretty annoying. I have friends like that and after they've asked about the calorie content of 6 different entrees and made 3 substitutions, I want to scream.

Third possibility is that nobody cares and you're being sensitive and upset because you wanted only positive feedback. when frankly, most people might not care. you weren't obese before, just a normal size going to a smaller normal size.

OP here and as I said my husband and I are very active so we were talking about our hobbies, but I don't think we were doing it in a negative way. We were going to go geocaching the next day on our hike so we were asking anyone if they wanted to join us. One couple laughed and asked us why we would want to spend the day hiking. As far as ordering food goes, I knew I wanted fish as soon as I saw it on the menu. I actually probably made my mind up the fastest. As I said in a pp, maybe I am being too sensitive. I'm just trying to make new friends and it's hard when they all already know each other and they seemed so quick to judge about the fish, the hiking, and only having one beer.

I think the PP's explanation of the possible options is a good one, and I would really think about that. When you declined a second beer, did you say anything about the calories? or the carbs? or anything other than "No, thanks, I'm good"? When you ordered the fish, did you say anything about the calories or how healthy it was? Or did you just say, "I love fish; I'll have the grilled salmon with asparagus"?

But also, if you have friends who laugh at the idea of hiking, then you maybe just need new friends. Who in their right mind thinks hiking is a strange activity?

OP here and I don't know what you want me to say. I'm far from perfect, but I did not advertise in anyway that I watch what I eat besides ordering what I ordered. I was excited to order the fish, so maybe that's what threw them because things seemed to go down hill from there. I only had one beer because I was full and I was planning to drive home, I wanted my DH to enjoy himself. I'm also not much of a drinker and usually only drink socially. They were the ones who made a huge deal about the beer not me. I think my only response was no thank you, one women's response to that was "come on splurge a little". I will admit I'm a little up tight about drinking because my father was an alcoholic and died from liver problems. I think I just need to check out some meetups or something and meet some different people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would maybe try to see if you're being preachy or doing that whole "zealotry of the recent convert" thing where you act like you're the first person who ever discovered healthy eating or exercise and now you have to tell everyone else the error of their ways. Not saying you are necessarily doing that, just saying that would be one reason for the reaction you're getting.

Also, if your new eating habits mean that it takes you 10 minutes to order at a restaurant - that can be pretty annoying. I have friends like that and after they've asked about the calorie content of 6 different entrees and made 3 substitutions, I want to scream.

Third possibility is that nobody cares and you're being sensitive and upset because you wanted only positive feedback. when frankly, most people might not care. you weren't obese before, just a normal size going to a smaller normal size.

OP here and as I said my husband and I are very active so we were talking about our hobbies, but I don't think we were doing it in a negative way. We were going to go geocaching the next day on our hike so we were asking anyone if they wanted to join us. One couple laughed and asked us why we would want to spend the day hiking. As far as ordering food goes, I knew I wanted fish as soon as I saw it on the menu. I actually probably made my mind up the fastest. As I said in a pp, maybe I am being too sensitive. I'm just trying to make new friends and it's hard when they all already know each other and they seemed so quick to judge about the fish, the hiking, and only having one beer.

I think the PP's explanation of the possible options is a good one, and I would really think about that. When you declined a second beer, did you say anything about the calories? or the carbs? or anything other than "No, thanks, I'm good"? When you ordered the fish, did you say anything about the calories or how healthy it was? Or did you just say, "I love fish; I'll have the grilled salmon with asparagus"?

But also, if you have friends who laugh at the idea of hiking, then you maybe just need new friends. Who in their right mind thinks hiking is a strange activity?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You weren't fat before. I have heavy friends, thin friends and have also recently lost 20 lbs. none of the issues you describe. Do you come off braggy or judgmental? You sound it.

size 8 is big

I am a size 8. I'm 5 feet 8 inches and 135 lbs. I don't think I'm big, but compared to a size 2, I imagine I'd be enormous.

How are you an 8? (and at what store?) I'm 5'8", 135 and I'm a 2 most places, 4 at a few -and a 0 at Loft, but their vanity sizing is out of control.

Seriously? I'm 5 feet 7.5 inches and 135 and I'm a 6 almost every I go. I don't get any of this! (Not that you're not all like me, but how are we all having such different experiences?)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You weren't fat before. I have heavy friends, thin friends and have also recently lost 20 lbs. none of the issues you describe. Do you come off braggy or judgmental? You sound it.

size 8 is big

I am a size 8. I'm 5 feet 8 inches and 135 lbs. I don't think I'm big, but compared to a size 2, I imagine I'd be enormous.

How are you an 8? (and at what store?) I'm 5'8", 135 and I'm a 2 most places, 4 at a few -and a 0 at Loft, but their vanity sizing is out of control.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would maybe try to see if you're being preachy or doing that whole "zealotry of the recent convert" thing where you act like you're the first person who ever discovered healthy eating or exercise and now you have to tell everyone else the error of their ways. Not saying you are necessarily doing that, just saying that would be one reason for the reaction you're getting.

Also, if your new eating habits mean that it takes you 10 minutes to order at a restaurant - that can be pretty annoying. I have friends like that and after they've asked about the calorie content of 6 different entrees and made 3 substitutions, I want to scream.

Third possibility is that nobody cares and you're being sensitive and upset because you wanted only positive feedback. when frankly, most people might not care. you weren't obese before, just a normal size going to a smaller normal size.

OP here and as I said my husband and I are very active so we were talking about our hobbies, but I don't think we were doing it in a negative way. We were going to go geocaching the next day on our hike so we were asking anyone if they wanted to join us. One couple laughed and asked us why we would want to spend the day hiking. As far as ordering food goes, I knew I wanted fish as soon as I saw it on the menu. I actually probably made my mind up the fastest. As I said in a pp, maybe I am being too sensitive. I'm just trying to make new friends and it's hard when they all already know each other and they seemed so quick to judge about the fish, the hiking, and only having one beer.

Anonymous wrote:OP, something tells me that you probably talk about yourself too much. That makes making new friends very hard.