Anonymous wrote:It's not that they're 'so bad' but remember HR is there to help and protect the company, nOT hold the hands of the employees. People bitch about HR because they don't always get the answer they want if they complain to HR...

A few examples from DW and one from me:
HR schedules phone interviews using the same conference line for each candidate and schedules them back to back with no buffer. Makes the company look great when one candidate gets on the line during the other's interview.

HR's insistence on screening candidates for interviews and identifying possibly the worst candidates and taking forever to do so. For example, one candidate identified for an admin position was currently a CFO. Clearly, they selected this person from the pool of resumes they have for other jobs (some of which are higher level) and referred this person for this admin job.

HR insisting on writing the position description for a job that needed to be filled. They did a horrible job writing the description and it took them two months to do it.

I submitted certain paperwork to get processed when I was hired last year. I'm just now receiving countersigned copies of that paperwork with a scribbled note that says "sorry, I was late getting to this."

DH has experienced over and again that HR is there to protect the company at any cost mainly by protecting/covering up/ignoring the egregious behavior going on at the top of the company

It's not that they're 'so bad' but remember HR is there to help and protect the company, nOT hold the hands of the employees. People bitch about HR because they don't always get the answer they want if they complain to HR...

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. ARe you fucking kidding me!!!!

I asked the following:

Can you clarify exactly what is meant by “must exceed 75% of individual goals to qualify for organization-wide bonus?” Exeeding goals by any measure, reaching stretch, exceeding stretch?

And got this answer:

I would recommend defining what exceeds would mean for each goal and noting it on the form so it is clear to both the team member and to you. That may also be the same as the stretch goal depending on terminology.

WHAT?!?!?!?! So, make it up? How would you read into that complete non-answer?

OP, I am the admin. assistant in your post. My boss & I use items like, update mailing lists (double-check Christams card list), create & implement filing systems for next fiscal year (make file labels for 2015 & put stuff in them), prepare documents for off-site retention (throw old stuff away), maintain customer & vendor relationships (send them stuff)

A stretch goal for your admin might be to learn a new skill (such as software certification) that would allow him or her to take on more duties, and eventually be promoted. Learn InDesign, for example. Learn to manage your budget. Those are skills that will be useful in the current position, and can lead to another job within the company.

I manage operations for a non-profit organization so HR is one of my areas of responsibility, and I hate the bureaucratic BS that gets put on HR departments. Mostly because it represents wasted resources (everyone's time of course, in learning it, doing it, and keeping up with it, and money to pay consultants to come up with it). I try to squash it whenever it comes up. However, when you're faced with a bad employee who needs to go, and you don't have the resources to deal with a lawsuit, it can be very valuable to have some weasel-worded justification for dismissal. The assigning of percentage values to the accomplishment of goals is of course arbitrary, and designed to give the company "proof" of poor performance. If you actually want to evaluate performance in order to improve function, I find peer reviews to be of more value.

PP was right. HR works for the company, not the employee.

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. ARe you fucking kidding me!!!!

I asked the following:

Can you clarify exactly what is meant by “must exceed 75% of individual goals to qualify for organization-wide bonus?” Exeeding goals by any measure, reaching stretch, exceeding stretch?

And got this answer:

I would recommend defining what exceeds would mean for each goal and noting it on the form so it is clear to both the team member and to you. That may also be the same as the stretch goal depending on terminology.

WHAT?!?!?!?! So, make it up? How would you read into that complete non-answer?

I'm not a fan of HR, but the response they wrote you does make sense.

Also not a good idea to be posting this too-detailed complaint from DC where people from your office might also be reading DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:Mid level managers sometimes don't get what HR brings to the table. Senior level managers more often do because they are more likely to be held responsible for engagement levels, change projects success, head count, succession gaps and retention. To name a few.

Okay, so for this mid-level manager, for whom HR is bringing nothing of apparent value to my table, what am I to give them credit for? I honestly want to know. They have demonstrated zero value to me in either the review or goal setting processes. I guess they do pay me on time....

Mid level managers sometimes don't get what HR brings to the table. Senior level managers more often do because they are more likely to be held responsible for engagement levels, change projects success, head count, succession gaps and retention. To name a few.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only the "special" kind can get a job in HR.

+1

+2. I have never worked anywhere with a competent HR department.

I have always felt that HR professionals tend to be women who would be stay at home moms if their husbands could afford for them to stay home. But they can't. So they unfortunately have to work and in no way give it their all.

HR strikes again!!!

OP here with an update. ARe you fucking kidding me!!!!

I asked the following:

Can you clarify exactly what is meant by “must exceed 75% of individual goals to qualify for organization-wide bonus?” Exeeding goals by any measure, reaching stretch, exceeding stretch?

And got this answer:

I would recommend defining what exceeds would mean for each goal and noting it on the form so it is clear to both the team member and to you. That may also be the same as the stretch goal depending on terminology.

WHAT?!?!?!?! So, make it up? How would you read into that complete non-answer?

Those who can, do. Those who can't pursue HR.

Anonymous wrote:HR promotes Culture Change

how about a quote like this ...

A Cultural Belief is a B2 belief that is prioritized as key to how people need to think and act in the C2 culture to achieve R2 results. Cultural Beliefs inform a way of thinking. They work in concert to create just the right balance among the beliefs. You can't articulate just one belief, promulgate that belief, and expect it to motivate the right actions. You need a set of beliefs that function together as a system. That's how Cultural Beliefs work: they form an interdependent system of how people in the organization need to think and act differently to achieve R2. They are a set of beliefs that harmonize with one another and work together to guide A2 actions. Cultural Belief statements, particularly those crafted in a participative manner with an eye toward getting people to sign on, provide an extremely powerful tool for culture change.

another management fad from HR

Odds are that you can't blame that one directly on HR. Some consulting firm came up with that crap and some executive in your company (possibly one who used to work at said consulting firm) hired them to "help" your HR dept.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only the "special" kind can get a job in HR.

"special"? explain please.

Special = not very bright.

HR is the Gestapo of any company. Their job omission to protect the firm.