Anonymous
Post 09/25/2014 23:32     Subject: Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity
The reason you feel this way is because we are in a majority white country where we are flooded with images of white is right on a daily basis. Only recently has this started to change but it's too late for people in your age range and in mines. I notice there are many more black cartoons on tv than when I was a child, there is even a black Disney princess. So I try and expose my daughters to as many black images as possible to reinforce that black is beautiful.

I'm a black woman and although I love being black it's hard not to get pulled into that lighter skinned thing is more attractive. In reality it's not more attractive but the media and society has pushed that so much on us that we subconsciously go for that. My own husband is mixed and very, very light skinned and I've gotten joked on a lot about not liking black guys because he almost looks white. I do like black guys but I have to admit being with guys that look like him is a total turn on that I never got from regular black guys. There is a reason light skinned black men are referred to as pretty boys.

You can't help what you like I guess. Maybe you just haven't met the right black woman. My brother was all about Mexican women but ended up falling in love and marrying a black girl. Also one of my white guy friends dated nothing but black women in high school and swore that was all he liked and he even went to a historically black college, yet he ended up marrying a white woman.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2014 21:34     Subject: Re:Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity
Anonymous wrote:I am the OP. Thanks for the feedback so far. I am well aware that no one should care what I like, or what my preferences are. I am also well aware that we are all wired differently, so clearly we will have diverse preferences in EVERYTHING, not just dating.

What I am not 'aware' of is what can help explain that special/extra thing I (and others with similar sentiments) feel for persons of other races/ethnicity. The fact is science, so far, has not been very successful in explaining attraction, so a good way is to hear the views of others. So that is why I am throwing it out to invite FEEDBACK from others with similar or know of similar experiences. I am not seeking 'justification' or need to boost my 'self esteem' by throwing this out to an online community.

So thanks for the feedback so far, but please don't misunderstand/assume that I have low self-esteem or somehow need justification for my preferences in anything. If you feel the same way about other races, please share, if you don't please feel free to lurk and read our experiences. Thanks.


Sorry bruh I can't help ya'. I'm a mixed chic and I only get that extra thing for hot guys. Frankly I don't care what race. If they are hot they are hot.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2014 21:30     Subject: Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity
Anonymous wrote:A lot of white guys are attracted to Oriental women.


Racist racist racist
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2014 21:01     Subject: Re:Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity
Anonymous wrote:I am the OP. Thanks for the feedback so far. I am well aware that no one should care what I like, or what my preferences are. I am also well aware that we are all wired differently, so clearly we will have diverse preferences in EVERYTHING, not just dating.

What I am not 'aware' of is what can help explain that special/extra thing I (and others with similar sentiments) feel for persons of other races/ethnicity. The fact is science, so far, has not been very successful in explaining attraction, so a good way is to hear the views of others. So that is why I am throwing it out to invite FEEDBACK from others with similar or know of similar experiences. I am not seeking 'justification' or need to boost my 'self esteem' by throwing this out to an online community.

So thanks for the feedback so far, but please don't misunderstand/assume that I have low self-esteem or somehow need justification for my preferences in anything. If you feel the same way about other races, please share, if you don't please feel free to lurk and read our experiences. Thanks.


Self-hate. It's not that complicated. Books on the topic may give you clarity.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2014 17:58     Subject: Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity
OP, are you financially and educationally successful?

White women are the prize. It is not uncommon for black men to only chase after attractive white women (not talking the fat trailer trash white girls) once they've made it to the top.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2014 17:37     Subject: Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity
Anonymous wrote:
Firstly the disclaimer: I am not a troll, I am not discriminating against any race/ethnicity, I am not passively promoting anything. I just have a genuine question, and am inviting feedback. Whew! Now that I have cleared the air, I am hoping I can get some feedback on this.

I am an early 30s, single w/o kids, black male (not American, but close enough) and I only seem to be attracted to non-black women. I have female friends from all continents, but personally, I have only (intimately) dated Black Caribbean, Black African, White European (Western, Central and East), White British, Mixed (black and white), and Persian. Honestly, I only ever feel that extra hmmm hmmm hmmm when I am with a non-black female, usually white. I am also really having a hard time politely explaining to (black) women that, although I find them attractive, and would date them, it would not be fair to them to get too serious because I may very well stray. Some feel let down, and some understand. However, I owe them the dignity to be totally honest and up front, but I am also having a hard time trying to explain this feeling to myself.

This is not to say I have not seen white or non-black women who I totally pass on. I am NOT attracted to any and everything non-black! It is just that when I am attracted, this attraction is more intense usually with white women.

It is more than the sexual/physiological aspect for me. It's some other psychological trigger that does it for me every time. I don't know if it has anything to do with only growing up with women, only having sisters, or the usual assumptions about educated/professional black men. I can't seem to find anything scientific to explain why I only feel that extra thing for these other women. So I am throwing it out, and asking for feedback or any likely explanations.

Is anyone else in this position (male or female), or you know of others' experiences?


I'm a white lady only attracted to black men.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2014 17:19     Subject: Re:Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity
I'm a petite, caucasian blonde with green eyes and blonde hair. My Dh is african american. I like him and he does it for me
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2014 15:22     Subject: Re:Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity
I am attracted to Asian women almost exclusively.

I can't explain it but I find them to be the most feminine and graceful and they are far removed from the stereotype of being submissive so that is certainly not why I am drawn to them.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2014 15:18     Subject: Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity
I think most people typically marry someone who looks similar so that their children look like them. I think that's most subconscious though.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2014 14:55     Subject: Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A lot of white guys are attracted to Oriental women.


Oriental? Is this the 50s?


No, pp is from Ohio in the 50s.


Now now..no dissing Ohio. Be nice
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2014 14:46     Subject: Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity
Anonymous wrote:If you feel the same way about other races, please share, if you don't please feel free to lurk and read our experiences. Thanks.


My goodness OP aren't you the autocratic one. Though I don't feel the same way about other races as you do which is contrary to your what your conditions for feedback call for I think I'll go ahead and offer my two cents anyway since this is an open forum.

So...you say you feel an extra "hmmm hmmm hmmm" when you are with a non-black female, usually white and you wonder why that is exactly. I'm guessing one of three reasons...

1) - You're insecure and see being with a white woman as some sort of validation for your deep seated self-identity issues.
Not likely seeing how you already dismissed this potential explanation already.

2) - You're obsessive and much like any other individual with an OCD you do not want to have these thoughts and find them disturbing but cannot help it.
Quite possible considering your reluctance to simply accept the fact that you're attracted to certain women more so than others and feel compelled to find an analytic explanation.

3) - You're an egotistical asshole.
Most likely explanation considering your above-quoted comment telling posters who don't qualify "feel free to lurk" coupled with your overall chauvinistic disposition as evidenced by how casually you made mention of the fact that you've dated Black Caribbean, Black African, White European (Western, Central and East), White British, Mixed (black and white), and Persian women but only intimately. The fact that despite the diversity of all your partners with regard to character, culture, attitude, education, personality, etc; you still remain fixated on their ethnicity speaks volumes about what a shallow piece of shit you truly are.

Hope that helps.
Good luck figuring out what has you so fixated
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2014 14:45     Subject: Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am only attracted to blonde white women and I am not white.


Who isn't


My DH who is white European. He's attracted to darker tones, like me


My ex doesn't like blondes though he comes from a land of blondes. He thinks they're cows.


he's lying to you

No he has a type and it's not blondes.


Men are attracted to blonde women it's science not an opinion or preference.
http://snowbrains.com/brain-post-the-science-behind-why-men-prefer-blondes/


That would apply more towards European men, but I can't see it applying to Asians or Africans since, historically, they haven't been surrounded by blondes. This study is only "guessing" as to why men prefer blondes. How the heck would you prove that the reason a man prefers a blonde is because the man can tell if the woman has a skin disease or whatever the article was stating. That article is all speculation. Maybe a vast majority of men do prefer blondes, but the reasons stated in that article or just assumptions, not scientific fact.


It's not even a study! It's an opinion piece that references and interprets an article written by a professor and published somewhere that is not clear from the opinion piece. Our speculation on this site is about as scientific as that article.

I think it's worth mentioning also that perhaps men "prefer" blondes because blonde sex symbols like Marilyn Monroe have been so deeply ingrained in the collective mind as the sexy ideal. And not just any blondes, either. No one is having sexy daydreams about Sissy Spacek as far as I know, and she's blonde.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2014 14:39     Subject: Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am only attracted to blonde white women and I am not white.


Who isn't


My DH who is white European. He's attracted to darker tones, like me


My ex doesn't like blondes though he comes from a land of blondes. He thinks they're cows.


he's lying to you

No he has a type and it's not blondes.


Men are attracted to blonde women it's science not an opinion or preference.
http://snowbrains.com/brain-post-the-science-behind-why-men-prefer-blondes/


I don't see the "science" in this article. It sounds like opinion and fluff.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2014 14:34     Subject: Re:Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity
I can't believe no one has mentioned therapy! The fact this issue bothers you indicates therapy might help.

Was your father around growing up? Were your parents together?
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2014 14:16     Subject: Explaining Attraction: Only Attracted to Other Race/Ethnicity
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am only attracted to blonde white women and I am not white.


Who isn't


My DH who is white European. He's attracted to darker tones, like me


My ex doesn't like blondes though he comes from a land of blondes. He thinks they're cows.


he's lying to you

No he has a type and it's not blondes.


Men are attracted to blonde women it's science not an opinion or preference.
http://snowbrains.com/brain-post-the-science-behind-why-men-prefer-blondes/


That would apply more towards European men, but I can't see it applying to Asians or Africans since, historically, they haven't been surrounded by blondes. This study is only "guessing" as to why men prefer blondes. How the heck would you prove that the reason a man prefers a blonde is because the man can tell if the woman has a skin disease or whatever the article was stating. That article is all speculation. Maybe a vast majority of men do prefer blondes, but the reasons stated in that article or just assumptions, not scientific fact.