this is really weird and you OP, are not the problem.

Anonymous wrote:I'd also find this a bit odd. But the upside is that you can be confident she is not sharing all of your individual family business with the others. My father started limiting what he told his own mother, b/c she essentially spent all of her time on the phone filling in his siblings and their spouses on what the other ones were up to. Maybe your MIL is trying to be extra careful not to be the common link in all of your relationships (i.e., letting you find out what SIL is up to from SIL and not from MIL) and is erring on the side of non-disclosure.

Op here, I like this! A lot! It's a great perspective and would be a pretty reasonable reason. My grandmother keeps everyone informed about the happenings in our family and that can make for many arguments when things are shared that shouldn't have been. Thanks!

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to believe that you don't mind your MIL meeting up with her other DIL when you're keeping tabs on it. Perhaps you don't want to be jealous and know you shouldn't be, but the fact that you're keeping tabs means you are. I wouldn't bring it up with MIL since the problem is how you feel about it, not the fact that MIL meets up with DIL and doesn't accurately report it out to you.

I'm not keeping tabs on anything really, other than the fact that she's lying. I'm not sure why you wouldn't be bothered about someone constantly lying to you regarding their relationship with someone else or anything for that matter. MIL could be dishonest about any relationship in her life and I would question it. It's not normal. I wouldn't have a problem admitting if I were jealous, especially here. As a matter of fact, the more DIL's MIL has the less pressure on me. Some of you will think what you want and I can understand that. I've pretty much resolved myself to ignoring her lies. She has the issue not me. I'm pretty honest with those I love. Especially about issues that aren't a huge deal like this. Thanks to everyone for the input.

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to believe that you don't mind your MIL meeting up with her other DIL when you're keeping tabs on it. Perhaps you don't want to be jealous and know you shouldn't be, but the fact that you're keeping tabs means you are. I wouldn't bring it up with MIL since the problem is how you feel about it, not the fact that MIL meets up with DIL and doesn't accurately report it out to you.

I thought the OP and her MIL were friends and shared the happenings of the day with one another. Is that really keeping tabs?

I'd also find this a bit odd. But the upside is that you can be confident she is not sharing all of your individual family business with the others. My father started limiting what he told his own mother, b/c she essentially spent all of her time on the phone filling in his siblings and their spouses on what the other ones were up to. Maybe your MIL is trying to be extra careful not to be the common link in all of your relationships (i.e., letting you find out what SIL is up to from SIL and not from MIL) and is erring on the side of non-disclosure.

Anonymous wrote:For some reason, your MIL does not want to hurt your feelings by telling you about her interactions with the other daughters in law. Perhaps the daughters in law are unaware of your relationship with your MIL. Let it go. Confrontations usually don't work. Does your husband have any insight?

Husband pretty much thinks it's weird but not something I should worry about. He thinks his mom has an issue balancing female relationships and means no harm by it.

It's hard to believe that you don't mind your MIL meeting up with her other DIL when you're keeping tabs on it. Perhaps you don't want to be jealous and know you shouldn't be, but the fact that you're keeping tabs means you are. I wouldn't bring it up with MIL since the problem is how you feel about it, not the fact that MIL meets up with DIL and doesn't accurately report it out to you.

For some reason, your MIL does not want to hurt your feelings by telling you about her interactions with the other daughters in law. Perhaps the daughters in law are unaware of your relationship with your MIL. Let it go. Confrontations usually don't work. Does your husband have any insight?

Anonymous wrote:Pretty sure MIL has her own issues that have nothing to do with you. Her coping by compartmentalizing is probably from growing up...was she a middle-child? A weaker personality? Pleaser? She's projecting her own insecurities. Plus she raised 3 boys, she may think that's how women interact - no practice...

Op here, MIL is an only child. I never thought about it as compartmentalizing. I'll have to look into that to get a better understanding. Thanks.

Pretty sure MIL has her own issues that have nothing to do with you. Her coping by compartmentalizing is probably from growing up...was she a middle-child? A weaker personality? Pleaser? She's projecting her own insecurities. Plus she raised 3 boys, she may think that's how women interact - no practice...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is jealous.

Of?

Jealous that MIL is developing strong relationships with the others. I think, MIL knows OP would be jealous and that's why she doesn't tell her.

Op here, I'm really not. If I were I would have nothing to lose by admitting it anonymously here. I can see why one would think that because I included what MIL told me about being irreplaceable etc, but I only mentioned that to explain what she's thinking as I've already been forthright from the beginning about how I feel about this. I have no gripes if she were to find companionship in either of them. They are both lovely and definitely not toxic, so there would be no reason get I would want to block those relationships. I would love her honesty (she doesn't have to pretend to me or them) I believe that SIL is also aware that MIL has been untruthful about the relationship. So I'm not sure how her omissions help anyone. After seeking advice on this forum and speaking to a few people, my overall sentiments is that she means no harm and that in the future when chooses to pretend that she's done nothing all day when I hear otherwise, I'm just going to politely mention what she left out to let her know that it's fine with me. If this is the problem than it will be remedied hopefully. If it isn't, than I'll have to just deal with it.

Especially where she says that her MIL told her that's no DIL will take her place because she is like a daughter and can't be replaced.
Sounds unhealthy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is jealous.

Of?

Jealous that MIL is developing strong relationships with the others. I think, MIL knows OP would be jealous and that's why she doesn't tell her.