Oh, and I call my nieces "my sweet girls", but it doesn't seem to bother my SIL. I have my own kids but I also love my nieces!

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only mom who is not bothered by this?

Now don't get me wrong my relationship is not all that rosy and in fact I don't particularly care for her but when she says this it doesn't bother me one bit.

Doesn't bother me at all. In fact, it makes me happy. It takes a village, and the more love my kids have in their lives, the better for them. I like that their grandparents are proprietary, it doesn't detract from my relationship with my kids.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's sad that you're sitting up at 2 am writing these dumb posts. Bored? Big exam tomorrow in Psych 101? I call troll. Ten minutes prior to this thread, you started this one:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/413961.page

+1000

I think the phrase "my babies" is pretty much exclusively used by adoring non-parents, so you can't take too much offense at it. It's not like she stole your phrase and is really claiming your kids are hers. It's mildly irritating, sure, but not offensive.

You probably call your kids "the kids" or "the girls" or "the boys" so let your MIL have her phrase. You have yours and I'm sure your kids appreciate that you're not referring to them all as babies.

As a first time mom, I got annoyed when my MIL referred to my unborn twins as "my (her) babies". But there were other issues. She was suffocating. She had all sorts of ideas about how things would go after they were born without once asking for my opinion or feeling on the matter. Once they were born and we started to consistently set limits with her, things improved and I didn't care about her calling them "her babies" anymore. I was feeling insecure..and possessive (perhaps understandably) but once you DO feel secure, it might annoy you a little but it should not bother you dramatically.

My mom did this a couple times early on. It irked me, too, I think mainly because the person I know who does it all the time to her grandkids is a wonderful woman but a batshit crazy grandmother. And because I was hormonal. Happily, she hasn't done it since the first week or so, so I don't know if it would still be annoying me. Not much to be done about it anyway.

Anonymous wrote:My MIl refers to my husband as "My Charlie" and refers to the place where she lives as 'home' as in 'Aren't you all coming home for Christmas?"

I think it does reflect a failure to acknowledge that he is an adult, that I am an adult, or that we have an adult relationship and a home.

But then again this is the woman who said that it was great that I was quitting my job so that I would have more time to spend taking care of the house -- strange, I thought it was so I could spend more time with my children.

You're MIL is right that your DH is 'her Charlie'. He was hers first and will always be hers. You're reading too much into the 'home' thing. My siblings and I haven't lived in the town we grew up in over 25 years. Yet, when we're talking about visiting there, we always refer to it as 'home'. It will always be our childhood home even though my mom is living in a different house. When we're at my mom's, we refer to the town we currently live in as 'home'. As in, when you going back 'home'. Perhaps you lack mental and verbal flexibility.

Am I the only mom who is not bothered by this?

Now don't get me wrong my relationship is not all that rosy and in fact I don't particularly care for her but when she says this it doesn't bother me one bit.

Same here.

It would be one thing if my mil were involved with my children and made an effort to visit etc but she does not so she has no right to call my children her babies

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How young are you woman anyway? You seem very insecure and immature.

I picture older women finding this irritating.

You are probably right. Life experience and maturity comes into play on these asinine "grievances."

Anonymous wrote:How young are you woman anyway? You seem very insecure and immature.

I picture older women finding this irritating.

Don't all grandparents do this? I never really thought about it until I saw this post, but thinking it over I'm pretty sure both my parents and DH's parents do this. My mom uses "my darling" and MIL uses "my sweetie pie"; my dad uses "my little girl" and FIL uses "my girl." I can admittedly be touchy about a lot of stuff in life, but this doesn't bother me. It's just affection and I think it's sweet. Try not to let it get to you; it's just a super common figure of speech and it comes from a good place.

My MIl refers to my husband as "My Charlie" and refers to the place where she lives as 'home' as in 'Aren't you all coming home for Christmas?"

I think it does reflect a failure to acknowledge that he is an adult, that I am an adult, or that we have an adult relationship and a home.

But then again this is the woman who said that it was great that I was quitting my job so that I would have more time to spend taking care of the house -- strange, I thought it was so I could spend more time with my children.

Anonymous wrote:My mother in law constantly refers to my children as "my babies" or "my children" or "my girl." I'm pretty secure in the fact that I, in fact, am their mother, but I still don't like it. Is this a normal thing to do?

Oh please. My own mother calls my son "my precious angel", "my baby". When I reprimand her, she says "oh please, you are big and boring, now HE is all perfect." If she was a Christian, she would treat as if he was Jesus Christ reincarnated.

Let it be. I'd more concerned if she didn't want any relationship with her only grandchild.

How young are you woman anyway? You seem very insecure and immature.