Anonymous
Post 10/23/2014 12:19     Subject: Summer re-cap: How did that beach vacation with the inlaws go?
Anonymous wrote:My mil made comments about how it's inappropriate for to wear a bikini since I'm a mother now (I'm not yet even 30) and when dh and I went to play catch with a football she asked "who do you think you are, the Kennedy's?" She also kept saying I didn't know how to cook or she thought u couldn't and she wouldn't be eating anything I made, but then she'd gobble it up. Also I let my toddlers shirt, curly hair get messy. Oh and she's going to get molested by perverts since I put dd in a baby bikini. But I should let her wear one when she's 13 to attract boyfriends.

I could have used a vacation from my vacation.


you should have said..,"The Kennedys? Um, are we skiing right now? Am I doing a headplant into a tree? No, we are on a beach."
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2014 17:56     Subject: Summer re-cap: How did that beach vacation with the inlaws go?
Anonymous wrote:We drove to middle TN last Christmas because I was worried about my dad. We rented a house because my sister won't let me stay with her. My dad's house is disgusting. Then I cooked up a Christmas dinner (no one brought any food). My family shows up, sits on the couch, and proceeds to watch a movie! Hardly any one even talked to us. Then they got up to go, and didn't even make plans to see us again even though we were staying there for 3 nights.

My sister did come back on Christmas morning, and my dad came over for like an hour one day. That was it! I couldn't believe that we spent our precious vacation driving two days each way to visit my rude family. I'm not sure when/if we are visiting again.


Sometimes you need that one over-the-top experience to be able to say "Enough" with absolutely no regrets.
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2014 17:24     Subject: Summer re-cap: How did that beach vacation with the inlaws go?
We drove to middle TN last Christmas because I was worried about my dad. We rented a house because my sister won't let me stay with her. My dad's house is disgusting. Then I cooked up a Christmas dinner (no one brought any food). My family shows up, sits on the couch, and proceeds to watch a movie! Hardly any one even talked to us. Then they got up to go, and didn't even make plans to see us again even though we were staying there for 3 nights.

My sister did come back on Christmas morning, and my dad came over for like an hour one day. That was it! I couldn't believe that we spent our precious vacation driving two days each way to visit my rude family. I'm not sure when/if we are visiting again.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2014 18:22     Subject: Summer re-cap: How did that beach vacation with the inlaws go?
Anonymous wrote:My mil made comments about how it's inappropriate for to wear a bikini since I'm a mother now (I'm not yet even 30) and when dh and I went to play catch with a football she asked "who do you think you are, the Kennedy's?"


"Why yes, yes we do! And by the way, later tonight I'd like to drive you home from a party out on the Cape. I know a back way, little tiny bridge, hardly ever used."

Anonymous
Post 10/19/2014 10:19     Subject: Summer re-cap: How did that beach vacation with the inlaws go?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mil made comments about how it's inappropriate for to wear a bikini since I'm a mother now (I'm not yet even 30) and when dh and I went to play catch with a football she asked "who do you think you are, the Kennedy's?" She also kept saying I didn't know how to cook or she thought u couldn't and she wouldn't be eating anything I made, but then she'd gobble it up. Also I let my toddlers shirt, curly hair get messy. Oh and she's going to get molested by perverts since I put dd in a baby bikini. But I should let her wear one when she's 13 to attract boyfriends.

I could have used a vacation from my vacation.


I cannot stop laughing at this!


I laughed at that too.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2014 19:45     Subject: Summer re-cap: How did that beach vacation with the inlaws go?
Anonymous wrote:My mil made comments about how it's inappropriate for to wear a bikini since I'm a mother now (I'm not yet even 30) and when dh and I went to play catch with a football she asked "who do you think you are, the Kennedy's?" She also kept saying I didn't know how to cook or she thought u couldn't and she wouldn't be eating anything I made, but then she'd gobble it up. Also I let my toddlers shirt, curly hair get messy. Oh and she's going to get molested by perverts since I put dd in a baby bikini. But I should let her wear one when she's 13 to attract boyfriends.

I could have used a vacation from my vacation.


I cannot stop laughing at this!
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2014 16:44     Subject: Summer re-cap: How did that beach vacation with the inlaws go?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, we are not alone!

I have come to realize that my MIL and IL's are not going to change, and therefor, not going to get any better. I have yet to figure out what to do with our extremely limited vacation time and people who "say" they want us there, yet do not exactly "show" they want us there.

What MIL wants is bragging rights, to say whether or not this person or that person attended. It gets really old, really quickly. I suppose if they had different personalities (or any personality, really), non-blood visitors would feel more welcome and enjoy themselves. At all.



This is what I'm facing for next year.


I realized the same thing about our family vacation this year! After I specifically said I'd like certain things to be different than last year, MIL ignored all of those requests. Glossed over a traumatic incident involving our two year old having to go to ER after an incident with a cousin. MIL just wants to tell everyone we came, she doesn't actually care about our enjoyment or comfort or difficulties of taking vacation from our jobs during a busy time of year. Enough. I already decided I'm not going next year. Might keep younger kid home with me also.




+1

Bragging rights before love and warmth, always - is this an unspoken code of rotten, bitter, miserable MIL's? She is somehow doing us a favor? UGH, it's tiresome and predictable. I'm so over it. Already planning next summer *without* the IL's, happily. They have managed to disrupt our summers far too much, and they could not care less: "it's all about MIL". Yeah, right. Not anymore.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2014 15:29     Subject: Summer re-cap: How did that beach vacation with the inlaws go?
Anonymous wrote:So many posts this summer about vacationing with the ILs. Anyone care to update us? Did it work out better or worse than expected? Learn anything to make future vacations easier? Any tips for everyone else?


Never doing it again. Life is too short for crappy vacations.
Anonymous
Post 09/22/2014 15:59     Subject: Summer re-cap: How did that beach vacation with the inlaws go?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, we are not alone!

I have come to realize that my MIL and IL's are not going to change, and therefor, not going to get any better. I have yet to figure out what to do with our extremely limited vacation time and people who "say" they want us there, yet do not exactly "show" they want us there.

What MIL wants is bragging rights, to say whether or not this person or that person attended. It gets really old, really quickly. I suppose if they had different personalities (or any personality, really), non-blood visitors would feel more welcome and enjoy themselves. At all.



This is what I'm facing for next year.


I realized the same thing about our family vacation this year! After I specifically said I'd like certain things to be different than last year, MIL ignored all of those requests. Glossed over a traumatic incident involving our two year old having to go to ER after an incident with a cousin. MIL just wants to tell everyone we came, she doesn't actually care about our enjoyment or comfort or difficulties of taking vacation from our jobs during a busy time of year. Enough. I already decided I'm not going next year. Might keep younger kid home with me also.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2014 11:52     Subject: Summer re-cap: How did that beach vacation with the inlaws go?


Our sisters IL and brothers IL disappear ALL the time! The sisters are close in age, and they are their only friends, so they don't even think to include anyone else. They and their families take off, do their own thing, and barely talk to anyone, for an entire week. It is the strangest thing I have ever seen.

I am from a bigger family, and would never once think to be so excluding or insular. Rude, rude, rude. Do what you want on your own time, but don't invite us all this way for it, please.

When their children were smaller, MIL watched them all of the time - of course, MIL would not THINK to watch our children - just as a statement. "What a nice mother and grandmother she must be - HAHAHAHAHA". Everyone sees right through it.

Also: 8:09 sounds familiar - you are not alone! Our standards are a little different than the grouchy, controlling people who call themselves grandparents.

Anonymous
Post 09/19/2014 10:58     Subject: Summer re-cap: How did that beach vacation with the inlaws go?
Ours was a bit more stressful than previous years, but mostly because it rained for the first half of the week. I actually really look forward to our beach week with in-laws every year, although my SIL's kids seem to be getting a bit brattier as they get older, and now that my kids are getting old enough to notice, it's getting harder to negotiate some of our parenting differences (plus, I really just can't stand the sound of shrieking 7 year olds). My SIL and BIL also tend to disappear a lot, leaving their attention-starved bratty kids to be taken care of by MIL/FIL or us, which got old quickly - particularly because both DH and I felt really bad about making MIL/FIL (who are great) take up all the slack. Once I hit a certain point though, I talked to my husband about how I needed some more time away from the brattiness, we started doing more things on our own, and I had a more pleasant time.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2014 10:39     Subject: Summer re-cap: How did that beach vacation with the inlaws go?
Sympathies to all.
Hurt feelings be damned. Get a separate hotel or don't go. Self-preservation, people!
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2014 10:33     Subject: Summer re-cap: How did that beach vacation with the inlaws go?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I didn't start an IL beach thread but I commented on several. Ours was about as expected. DD (2yo) got HFM (not expected) and was grumpy and clingy for the second half of the trip. My MIL tried to win her affection by plying her with candy. DD told MIL multiple times in no uncertain terms, "I no want you, I want Mommy." When MIL ignored her and continued to shove candy and bribes in her face, DD told her "I no like you." I told DD "That's not nice, it hurts Grammy's feelings." MIL had an epic breakdown (seriously crying and screaming) that DD doesn't like her and DD and I were 'talking about her behind her back."
Then FIL screamed at MIL for letting her self concept be ruled by a two year old. Then DH screamed at me and said I must've said 'something' to set off his mother (he later apologized). Then I tried to clear the air with MIL and she laughed it off saying it was no big deal...but refused to speak directly to me for the remaining two days.
My side of the family (who we also saw on the trip) was no picnic either. I decided next year we are going on vacation by ourselves, even if it means going somewhere other than the beach.


Hmm, I wonder where your child would have gotten the idea that it's okay to treat her grandmother this way?

Seriously -- really??? I don't have a problem with my in-laws but my kid will say that to one parent about the other -- "I want daddy" or "I don't want you, I want mommy"
Geez, PP, WTF!!!
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2014 08:09     Subject: Summer re-cap: How did that beach vacation with the inlaws go?
My MIL has an unairconditioned attic with a tiny, leaky bathroom where she generously agrees to let us stay when we visit her. THe weird part is she refers to it as "that lovely apartment" -- It has no kitchen, no living room, no doors, etc. She can't understand why we don't want to come and stay in her lovely apartment for a month during the summer. Then she serves all the meals in the backyard so that I can climb three flights of stairs up to the "apartment" while carrying fat sweaty toddlers in my arms. Oh, and the only bathroom the children and I are allowed to use is in the "apartment" so anytime anyone needs a bathroom you get to climb three flights of stairs. It has two beds for five people. The last time we did it, our kids had to sleep on the floor of the so-called "lovely apartment". We haven't visited in years since my husband refuses to pay for a hotel. (WHy would he? She always makes sure he gets a bed.)
There's just no reasoning with some people -- who are in severe denial.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2014 07:53     Subject: Summer re-cap: How did that beach vacation with the inlaws go?
We cut it short it was that bad. And separate apartments is not an option for my super stingy fil.