Anonymous
09/26/2014 07:29
Subject: If you were/are diagnosed as a narcissist or married to one.....
OP, I'm sorry to say that I don't think he will snap out of this. It just doesn't sound like normal post-partum family adjustment stuff. He seems cruel, self-centered and uncaring. At the very least, if things don't improve in a month or so I'd insist on counseling for you both. If that doesn't help I think it's time to leave him. You and your baby deserve much better than this!
Anonymous
09/26/2014 07:13
Subject: If you were/are diagnosed as a narcissist or married to one.....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think my spouse may be a NPD. Everything is usually all about him, and anything that goes wrong is always my fault. I made a terrible decision and had a baby with him. He wanted this baby SO bad. I gave birth almost 4 weeks ago, and he has held the baby exactly 3 times for photos, and has not helped with care at all. I'm doing absolutely everything, and the baby has medical problems that require a lot of doctor visits at Children's Hospital.
To make things worse, he came home 3 days ago with a puppy. He said that since the baby came I don't pay enough attention to him and he needs the puppy for "his mental sanity" since I've abandoned his needs. I am so sleep deprived, and still keeping up with all the household chores and I just don't know what to do. My mother (who unfortunately is not in the area and can't come to help) says she thinks he's a narcissist and jealous over the new baby - but he's the one that wanted the baby so bad, not me. He comes home and just plays with the puppy outside until he goes to bed and doesn't even look at the baby or provide any help at all and doesn't interact with me anymore except for taking the dinner I made and eating it away fro me. Does it sound like he is a narcissist? Or maybe he's just going through some freak out stage at being a new and first time father? He also tells me that he wishes he could not work and just stay at home and do nothing all day long like I do (I'm thinking I should cut my maternity leave short because he's resenting me for it) Maybe he's just jealous and will get over it? Maybe it will get better? Has anyone experienced this with their partner? We are not young, we are both in our 30's. I absolutely love DC an am very happy to have him. I just feel like my spouse had PPD or something. Can anyone give any advice?
man oh man....this guy seems like a piece of work. I fortunately have a amazing husband who is dead opposite from yours. From MY perspective, life is way too short to spend it with assholes. I'm a very proud and bull headed person, so without a doubt I'd kick his ass to the curb. If I'm going to essentially be a single parent, might as well dump the dead weight overboard. One less person to clean up after.
I'm just praying that it's some sort of phase - mid-life-crisis-shit compounded with becoming a father. I can't see myself trying to leave now with a newborn. We are not exactly well off, we are renting a basement apartment and are living paycheck to paycheck. Neither of us make that much money at our jobs - at least for the DC area. Financially I don't know how I would leave. Does anyone think maybe this is just a phase he is going through and he will snap back into a real person?
Anonymous
09/26/2014 07:08
Subject: If you were/are diagnosed as a narcissist or married to one.....
Holy crap, I took the quiz and scored a 1. I really am a doormat personality. I've been told that before, but holy crap. It says normal is between 12 and 15.
Anonymous
09/26/2014 07:01
Subject: If you were/are diagnosed as a narcissist or married to one.....
Anonymous wrote:I think my spouse may be a NPD. Everything is usually all about him, and anything that goes wrong is always my fault. I made a terrible decision and had a baby with him. He wanted this baby SO bad. I gave birth almost 4 weeks ago, and he has held the baby exactly 3 times for photos, and has not helped with care at all. I'm doing absolutely everything, and the baby has medical problems that require a lot of doctor visits at Children's Hospital.
To make things worse, he came home 3 days ago with a puppy. He said that since the baby came I don't pay enough attention to him and he needs the puppy for "his mental sanity" since I've abandoned his needs. I am so sleep deprived, and still keeping up with all the household chores and I just don't know what to do. My mother (who unfortunately is not in the area and can't come to help) says she thinks he's a narcissist and jealous over the new baby - but he's the one that wanted the baby so bad, not me. He comes home and just plays with the puppy outside until he goes to bed and doesn't even look at the baby or provide any help at all and doesn't interact with me anymore except for taking the dinner I made and eating it away fro me. Does it sound like he is a narcissist? Or maybe he's just going through some freak out stage at being a new and first time father? He also tells me that he wishes he could not work and just stay at home and do nothing all day long like I do (I'm thinking I should cut my maternity leave short because he's resenting me for it) Maybe he's just jealous and will get over it? Maybe it will get better? Has anyone experienced this with their partner? We are not young, we are both in our 30's. I absolutely love DC an am very happy to have him. I just feel like my spouse had PPD or something. Can anyone give any advice?
man oh man....this guy seems like a piece of work. I fortunately have a amazing husband who is dead opposite from yours. From MY perspective, life is way too short to spend it with assholes. I'm a very proud and bull headed person, so without a doubt I'd kick his ass to the curb. If I'm going to essentially be a single parent, might as well dump the dead weight overboard. One less person to clean up after.
Anonymous
09/26/2014 06:41
Subject: If you were/are diagnosed as a narcissist or married to one.....
I think my spouse may be a NPD. Everything is usually all about him, and anything that goes wrong is always my fault. I made a terrible decision and had a baby with him. He wanted this baby SO bad. I gave birth almost 4 weeks ago, and he has held the baby exactly 3 times for photos, and has not helped with care at all. I'm doing absolutely everything, and the baby has medical problems that require a lot of doctor visits at Children's Hospital.
To make things worse, he came home 3 days ago with a puppy. He said that since the baby came I don't pay enough attention to him and he needs the puppy for "his mental sanity" since I've abandoned his needs. I am so sleep deprived, and still keeping up with all the household chores and I just don't know what to do. My mother (who unfortunately is not in the area and can't come to help) says she thinks he's a narcissist and jealous over the new baby - but he's the one that wanted the baby so bad, not me. He comes home and just plays with the puppy outside until he goes to bed and doesn't even look at the baby or provide any help at all and doesn't interact with me anymore except for taking the dinner I made and eating it away fro me. Does it sound like he is a narcissist? Or maybe he's just going through some freak out stage at being a new and first time father? He also tells me that he wishes he could not work and just stay at home and do nothing all day long like I do (I'm thinking I should cut my maternity leave short because he's resenting me for it) Maybe he's just jealous and will get over it? Maybe it will get better? Has anyone experienced this with their partner? We are not young, we are both in our 30's. I absolutely love DC an am very happy to have him. I just feel like my spouse had PPD or something. Can anyone give any advice?
To make things worse, he came home 3 days ago with a puppy. He said that since the baby came I don't pay enough attention to him and he needs the puppy for "his mental sanity" since I've abandoned his needs. I am so sleep deprived, and still keeping up with all the household chores and I just don't know what to do. My mother (who unfortunately is not in the area and can't come to help) says she thinks he's a narcissist and jealous over the new baby - but he's the one that wanted the baby so bad, not me. He comes home and just plays with the puppy outside until he goes to bed and doesn't even look at the baby or provide any help at all and doesn't interact with me anymore except for taking the dinner I made and eating it away fro me. Does it sound like he is a narcissist? Or maybe he's just going through some freak out stage at being a new and first time father? He also tells me that he wishes he could not work and just stay at home and do nothing all day long like I do (I'm thinking I should cut my maternity leave short because he's resenting me for it) Maybe he's just jealous and will get over it? Maybe it will get better? Has anyone experienced this with their partner? We are not young, we are both in our 30's. I absolutely love DC an am very happy to have him. I just feel like my spouse had PPD or something. Can anyone give any advice?
Anonymous
09/26/2014 06:35
Subject: If you were/are diagnosed as a narcissist or married to one.....
Anonymous wrote:I divorced a diagnosed NPD who was probably also a sociopath. The doctors were on the fence about him.
I hadn't heard about the yawning, but here's another fun fact: psychopaths rarely dream.
Yep, my ex claimed to either not dream, or never remember his dreams. Now I know it's all the same.
He had no empathy whatsoever, he was serial philanderer, he engaged in terribly reckless behavior (in secret), and lied about EVERYTHING. He was also superficially charming, glib, funny, and appeared to be an all-around nice guy. I truly believe he would have killed me if he could have gotten away with it - after I told him I wanted a divorce, of course.
I think that my ex is an extreme case, but there are a lot of them walking around this city. Typically they have one or more NPD parents, and addiction (alcoholism) is usually present in the family of origin. Then it's bad parenting: either the parents tell the kids they're perfect and wonderful, or they constantly criticize them and make them feel like they'll never be good enough. If there is more than one child, they choose one of them as the "golden child" and focus all their attention on this child. The golden child ends up as a NPD themselves, sadly.
I could go on and on. It's insanity, really, nothing more than that.
Look for empathy, remorse, someone who tells the truth. Without these things, you're dealing with a bad person.
You are describing my dad. He is a psychopath.
Long story, but he was hospitalized and had a brain scan and turns out that parts of his brain that are active in normal people are inactive on him and parts of his brain are very active that are normally not as active in normal people. He physically is different. He cannot change, and he does not want to change. He is actually quite happy being the way he is and the trail of tears he has left in is wake.
Part of me feels bad because he has a mental handicap, but this does not make him any less destructive. I've had to cut off all communication.
Anonymous
09/26/2014 01:42
Subject: If you were/are diagnosed as a narcissist or married to one.....
PP here. There is NO CURE for NPD. None. NPDs don't get better; they get worse with age.
Get out now while you can. They don't like it when you leave them/reject them. They are vicious - you will see a whole new side of them, and it's terrifying.
Get out now while you can. They don't like it when you leave them/reject them. They are vicious - you will see a whole new side of them, and it's terrifying.
Anonymous
09/26/2014 01:41
Subject: If you were/are diagnosed as a narcissist or married to one.....
I divorced a diagnosed NPD who was probably also a sociopath. The doctors were on the fence about him.
I hadn't heard about the yawning, but here's another fun fact: psychopaths rarely dream.
Yep, my ex claimed to either not dream, or never remember his dreams. Now I know it's all the same.
He had no empathy whatsoever, he was serial philanderer, he engaged in terribly reckless behavior (in secret), and lied about EVERYTHING. He was also superficially charming, glib, funny, and appeared to be an all-around nice guy. I truly believe he would have killed me if he could have gotten away with it - after I told him I wanted a divorce, of course.
I think that my ex is an extreme case, but there are a lot of them walking around this city. Typically they have one or more NPD parents, and addiction (alcoholism) is usually present in the family of origin. Then it's bad parenting: either the parents tell the kids they're perfect and wonderful, or they constantly criticize them and make them feel like they'll never be good enough. If there is more than one child, they choose one of them as the "golden child" and focus all their attention on this child. The golden child ends up as a NPD themselves, sadly.
I could go on and on. It's insanity, really, nothing more than that.
Look for empathy, remorse, someone who tells the truth. Without these things, you're dealing with a bad person.
I hadn't heard about the yawning, but here's another fun fact: psychopaths rarely dream.
Yep, my ex claimed to either not dream, or never remember his dreams. Now I know it's all the same.
He had no empathy whatsoever, he was serial philanderer, he engaged in terribly reckless behavior (in secret), and lied about EVERYTHING. He was also superficially charming, glib, funny, and appeared to be an all-around nice guy. I truly believe he would have killed me if he could have gotten away with it - after I told him I wanted a divorce, of course.
I think that my ex is an extreme case, but there are a lot of them walking around this city. Typically they have one or more NPD parents, and addiction (alcoholism) is usually present in the family of origin. Then it's bad parenting: either the parents tell the kids they're perfect and wonderful, or they constantly criticize them and make them feel like they'll never be good enough. If there is more than one child, they choose one of them as the "golden child" and focus all their attention on this child. The golden child ends up as a NPD themselves, sadly.
I could go on and on. It's insanity, really, nothing more than that.
Look for empathy, remorse, someone who tells the truth. Without these things, you're dealing with a bad person.
Anonymous
09/25/2014 08:29
Subject: If you were/are diagnosed as a narcissist or married to one.....
DH scored 25 and I got a 4...sweet, verified what I've known for 10 years
Anonymous
09/24/2014 06:45
Subject: Re:If you were/are diagnosed as a narcissist or married to one.....
Anonymous wrote:vinvaginelle wrote:Fascinating subject...
http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic.htm
Go get your score.
Oh hell. I only scored a 4. Does that mean I hate myself?
I got a 7. I can see answering some of those questions differently when I was younger, thought I knew everything, etc. now I've mellowed and those things just don't matter. Perhaps youth is a narcissistic time and is only significant if we age and it gets worse
Anonymous
09/23/2014 20:39
Subject: Re:If you were/are diagnosed as a narcissist or married to one.....
vinvaginelle wrote:Fascinating subject...
http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic.htm
Go get your score.
Oh hell. I only scored a 4. Does that mean I hate myself?
Anonymous
09/22/2014 18:15
Subject: If you were/are diagnosed as a narcissist or married to one.....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Psychopaths do not have empathy. Narcissists do at times. A lack of empathy is at the heart of a psychopath (along with copious lies).
If the person you are dealinh with has no empathy at all, they've crossed the line into psychopathy.
Fun fact: Yawning is contagious. When people are shown pictures of yawns or witness people yawning, most often they yawn back.This does not happed with a psychopath.
I tested the yawning theory on my spouse who I know is a textbook Narcisist. Spent a whole evening together - talking over dinner. I yawned a hundred times. Spouse never did. Hmmmmm...
I just heard a piece on the radio about "extreme altruism." It turns out that extreme altruists, people who put themselves in danger to stop to help strangers in need, or who donate an organ to a stranger, have a larger area in their brain called the amygdala than normal people and sociopaths have a smaller one than normal people. That's why imploring the sociopath and trying to get them to understand the pain they are causing is a waste of time.
http://www.economist.com/news/science-and-technology/21618676-self-sacrifice-it-seems-biological-opposite-psychopathy-right
Anonymous
09/22/2014 18:12
Subject: If you were/are diagnosed as a narcissist or married to one.....
I scored an 8 and my husband scored a 23!
Anonymous
09/22/2014 17:59
Subject: If you were/are diagnosed as a narcissist or married to one.....
I scored 12. Low end of average.
I scored the highest in authority and second highest in vanity. 0 in entitlement and 0 in self sufficiency and 0 exhibitionism.
I think it is pretty accurate, I'm vain and know I look good. I also like to be in a position of authority, but not necessarily the center of attention.
I scored the highest in authority and second highest in vanity. 0 in entitlement and 0 in self sufficiency and 0 exhibitionism.
I think it is pretty accurate, I'm vain and know I look good. I also like to be in a position of authority, but not necessarily the center of attention.
Anonymous
09/22/2014 17:46
Subject: If you were/are diagnosed as a narcissist or married to one.....
Loved the quiz! Scored super-high in superiority and exhibitionism and high in vanity. Zero score on exploitativeness and entitlement, though. Might I be a good-natured narcissist?