What accounts for the biggest drop for me is lack of morning sex — and having it in the morning seemed to often result in having it again in the evening. Our kids are early risers. I think we've done it maybe 3 times in the morning in 4 years.

Once a week, before and after kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So is it impossible to maintain formerly active sx life once kids are here??

A lot of people have chimed in 3, 4, 5xs a week. What exactly do you consider active?

I'm talking about people who were 3-5x a week pre kids and are now once a month etc

You used the word impossible. Clearly it's not impossible. Just impossible for you to focus on the people who are having sex.

What an unnecessarily aggressive response. The PP dialed back the "impossible" and clarified his concern. Then you vomited out that unhelpful observation.

To the PP who was asking about pre-kid / post-kid. It's all over the map in terms of how active pre-kid sex lives respond to kids. There are plenty of people who still keep it up and plenty of people who find their sex lives drop off a cliff. Thing is that it takes both spouses being on board to have an active sex life and either one of them effectively has veto power enabling them to wreck the sex life.

Some find that sex never takes a hit. Some find there is a lull during pregnancy and/or nursing and early infancy but then the sex mostly (but maybe not entirely) bounces back. Some find that patiently waiting for things to bounce back doesn't work. In terms of distribution, I have no idea. From reading these boards, I get the sense that the "never take a hit" crowd is the smallest followed by the sexless marriage crowd with the "bounces back" crowd being the largest.

1-2 times/week. Married 10 years, together for 16. Expecting our 3rd child this fall, so sex life not as active because of exhaustion. My spouse would definitely prefer daily/ every other day and gets irritable when we have a dry spell of over a week.
When my older kids made it past 6 months, the frequency picked up to about 3x/week.

Never. Last time was one time in 2013 in may. Married 26 years. two teenagers.

wife has decided she likes vodka better than sex.

one day I will just leave, but waiting for last child to get into college.

I have been a lawyer for 20 years and can assure you that I have never had sex with any of my partners.

Anonymous wrote:Women who have sex 3-5 times/week, do you always have an orgasm (not just your husband)?

Yes. I'm one of the first posters. We both always have an orgasm. Sometimes orally, sometimes with his finger, and sometimes with some extra attention during sex.

Women who have sex 3-5 times/week, do you always have an orgasm (not just your husband)?

Married 9 years, together for 15.

Two kids age 6 and 4.

3-4 times a week and We both feel happy about it! During pregnancy/early nursing and when I was on birth control--1/wk.

Totally agree with "use it or lose it"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So is it impossible to maintain formerly active sx life once kids are here??

A lot of people have chimed in 3, 4, 5xs a week. What exactly do you consider active?

I'm talking about people who were 3-5x a week pre kids and are now once a month etc

You used the word impossible. Clearly it's not impossible. Just impossible for you to focus on the people who are having sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So is it impossible to maintain formerly active sx life once kids are here??

A lot of people have chimed in 3, 4, 5xs a week. What exactly do you consider active?

I'm talking about people who were 3-5x a week pre kids and are now once a month etc

There is actual *science* on this!

For married women between 30-39, 50% have sex about weekly. Around 25% have sex more frequently than that, and 25% less frequently.
http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html#frequency

For us, it was 3-4x/week before baby, and 1x/week after baby. For me personally it is much better sex now, even though it's less. Although I know DH would prefer more!

DH, married 8 years, 6 and 3 year old children. 2-4 times per month. It sucks but i am getting used to it.

We have been together 8 years and married for 4. We just had out first baby. Pre baby it was 2-3 times a week. Post baby and after 6 week recovery it was about 1 time a week and now 8pT 8 months pp we are 1-2 times a week.

We both have the same sex drive so it works well and even if I'm not exactly in the mood I try so he can have some fun! He rarely asks and when he does I know it's important lol!

Kids are 28, 20, 20, and 16. We have sex 2 to 3 times a week. He'd happily have sex every day, but I'm the lower libido spouse.