Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our school is majority Asian - and most of that is South Asian. At the risk of being flamed - I would say that the South Asian kids do tend to stick together and aren't as inclusive as I would have hoped. That is not to say that my child (SE Asian by the way) does not interact with them at school - just that there is no social interaction outside of school.

not all? hard to believe. what about soccer or baseball teams? or birthday parties?

I can believe it, sadly, although every family is different. I am white and when my brother was little he was friends with a Korean boy up the street. Around age 6, the Korean boy's parents told my parents that their son couldn't be friends with my brother anymore because their son would be "studying a lot."
It was kind of sad because they liked each other, and honestly short sighted of the parents. My brother is a major computer whiz, was a good student and is now a multimillionaire Silicon Valley exec. How bad of an influence could he have been?

This is sad. I'm Korean and have worked in SV. But my kids play with all kinds of kids. We live in a very diverse area.

I think the other PP got it right. Typically, recent immigrants only want their kids to hang out with kids from similar backgrounds. But this is probably true for a lot of recent immigrant groups. For the most part, Asians that are not recent immigrants assimilate more, including the social circle they have. So, it may depend on how recently a lot of the Asians in your community have immigrated. Not sure how you can tell.

However, the tiger moms do tend to not want their kids to befriend non-high achievers, so if your kid is not a high achiever, and the Asian moms are tiger moms, then more than likely the other kids won't be allowed to socialize with your kid anyway regardless of your race.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our school is majority Asian - and most of that is South Asian. At the risk of being flamed - I would say that the South Asian kids do tend to stick together and aren't as inclusive as I would have hoped. That is not to say that my child (SE Asian by the way) does not interact with them at school - just that there is no social interaction outside of school.

not all? hard to believe. what about soccer or baseball teams? or birthday parties?

I can believe it, sadly, although every family is different. I am white and when my brother was little he was friends with a Korean boy up the street. Around age 6, the Korean boy's parents told my parents that their son couldn't be friends with my brother anymore because their son would be "studying a lot."
It was kind of sad because they liked each other, and honestly short sighted of the parents. My brother is a major computer whiz, was a good student and is now a multimillionaire Silicon Valley exec. How bad of an influence could he have been?

Don't count on inclusiveness, OP. The NE/SE Asians I have met are NOT at all interested in what their "new" culture is doing. They do not care to assimilate.

They come from crowded dictatorships where it is every man for himself, and carry that sentiment here. Everything is about the almighty dollar.

It does not make for a nice environment to grow up in for their children, or ours.

Asia is a big continent with lots of different cultures. Also, many people the school classifies as "Asian" were born in the US. There is no Asian monolith. So how is it even possible to answer this question coherently? It's like asking, "What is European food like?" or "What language do people speak in Africa?".

Agree. I am a senior aged white woman who has known a number of second generation Asians. Their culture is much more similar to mine than their parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing wrong this question. I am a minority and I feel completely comfortable asking other members of the same minority what their experience has been like in a particular setting.

This is a question that white people are going to have to get used to asking as they lose the privilege of always being in the majority. They certainly shouldn't be chastised for it.

It was HOW the question was asked. It assumed that there is a group of people called "Asians", it assumed that all of these "Asians" act the same. Now I assume that OP is a bit tone deaf and not used to being people of various backgrounds, a fact which is going to influence her kid's experience way more than the demographic of the school population.

Because all "whites" are the same, though. Regardless of whether our ethnic backgrounds include Britain, Italy, Sweden, Ireland.... Yeah, there's really no cultural difference there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fairfax County has several ESs that are majority Asian - ours happens to be one of them. However, a lot of it comes from being an AAP center.

Isn't TJ 67% Asian?

Does TJ have an affirmative action program?

TJ is majority Asian and no, there is no affirmative action program. Affirmative action programs if they exist are for "under represented minorities" and excludes Asians. That's why it's harder for Asians to get into the Ivies and Stanford than it is for everyone else.

OP, you ask a legitimate question, where some people are shamed into not asking questions at all.

We are in a close in neighborhood, AAP program, where is happens to seem mostly Korean and Chinese - whether or not it is. I say this because inevitably, there will (should) be socialization. You will quickly find out that test scores are what matter, not hanging out with the whitey. You asked.

It is extremely difficult.

Anonymous wrote:Fairfax County has several ESs that are majority Asian - ours happens to be one of them. However, a lot of it comes from being an AAP center.

Isn't TJ 67% Asian?

Does TJ have an affirmative action program?

Fairfax County has several ESs that are majority Asian - ours happens to be one of them. However, a lot of it comes from being an AAP center.

Isn't TJ 67% Asian?

OP- We are a white family and we have kids that participate in many activities that are very popular with Chinese and Indian families (think activities like Mandarin language, violin/piano, chess, magnet schools, AP classes, tennis, swimming, high pressure after school academic enrichment activities etc). There have been a few times that I have felt conscious of my "minority" status but my interactions have been extremely positive. I think common interests are much more important than race. If your kids truly have common interests with the kids at the school, they will do fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our school is majority Asian - and most of that is South Asian. At the risk of being flamed - I would say that the South Asian kids do tend to stick together and aren't as inclusive as I would have hoped. That is not to say that my child (SE Asian by the way) does not interact with them at school - just that there is no social interaction outside of school.

+1

So true! Honestly, they behave like bigots.

I wrote the original post and I don't think they are bigots at all. They just tend to know each other well and hang out together. I'm sure this is true of other groups as well - but it just happens that our school is majority South Asian.

Anonymous wrote:Our school is majority Asian - and most of that is South Asian. At the risk of being flamed - I would say that the South Asian kids do tend to stick together and aren't as inclusive as I would have hoped. That is not to say that my child (SE Asian by the way) does not interact with them at school - just that there is no social interaction outside of school.

+1

So true! Honestly, they behave like bigots.

"I see no difference with parents who were born here, regardless of ethnicity. They are inclusive, do invite to parties, are active with PTA, etc."

I have seen at the HS level in Orchestra parent involvement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our school is majority Asian - and most of that is South Asian. At the risk of being flamed - I would say that the South Asian kids do tend to stick together and aren't as inclusive as I would have hoped. That is not to say that my child (SE Asian by the way) does not interact with them at school - just that there is no social interaction outside of school.

not all? hard to believe. what about soccer or baseball teams? or birthday parties?

We haven't been invited to any of the South Asian kid's birthday parties - but at other parties - the kids all play together. This may be just our experience - I'm sure other people have had different experiences at our school. We are still in the early grades.

then they ARE inclusive, no? very few kids get invited to every birthday parties, S Asian or not.

By "other parties" - I meant birthday parties of kids who are not South Asian who invited the whole class. That wasn't the point I was making but yes - those are "inclusive" events after school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our school is majority Asian - and most of that is South Asian. At the risk of being flamed - I would say that the South Asian kids do tend to stick together and aren't as inclusive as I would have hoped. That is not to say that my child (SE Asian by the way) does not interact with them at school - just that there is no social interaction outside of school.

not all? hard to believe. what about soccer or baseball teams? or birthday parties?

We haven't been invited to any of the South Asian kid's birthday parties - but at other parties - the kids all play together. This may be just our experience - I'm sure other people have had different experiences at our school. We are still in the early grades.

then they ARE inclusive, no? very few kids get invited to every birthday parties, S Asian or not.