Anonymous
08/29/2014 11:51
Subject: Ex is hiding money and step mother VA
Anonymous wrote:OP--can you provide a rational reason why you feel you are entitled to increased CS based on the new wife's income? I guess what I'm asking is why should she be financially obligated for a child she did not have?
I just don't read the OP this way. Her XH is hiding behind his new wife. OP is interested if there are any options at all.
I think her XH sounds like a cheat. Sadly, I don't think there's a lot OP can do, except realize these are all reasons why they are divorced and to thank god every day she's rid of him.
Anonymous
08/29/2014 11:00
Subject: Ex is hiding money and step mother VA
PP:
Your stepsons either did not get FA or committed fraud.Or this was years ago, and things were different.
10:46 Not sure when this was. Here's how things work today. You're highminded and noble not to hold this against your mother!
http://www.finaid.org/questions/divorce.phtml
Your stepsons either did not get FA or committed fraud.Or this was years ago, and things were different.
10:46 Not sure when this was. Here's how things work today. You're highminded and noble not to hold this against your mother!
http://www.finaid.org/questions/divorce.phtml
Anonymous
08/29/2014 10:46
Subject: Ex is hiding money and step mother VA
Anonymous wrote:Sorry PP it doesn't work that way. Schools and colleges require both parents' financials and signatures. My friend's daughter's father is out of the picture but every year her daughter was in college she had to find him for the college FA forms. The parents apply for FA, not the kids. Guess why? To prevent scams!
This is not true. My dad had custody of me growing up. My mother made probably twice what he earned, and didn't pay a cent for college. I got aid, scholarships, and used college savings from my dad. Was pretty surprised recently when my mom started talking about the money she had saved for me for college, that she's now getting out of those accounts. Uh, what?
No hard feelings - we didn't ask for her to pay, and we were all on good terms. I chalk it up to a mom oddity. I made it through college and grad school and easily paid of my loans.
Anonymous
08/29/2014 10:26
Subject: Ex is hiding money and step mother VA
OP--can you provide a rational reason why you feel you are entitled to increased CS based on the new wife's income? I guess what I'm asking is why should she be financially obligated for a child she did not have?
Anonymous
08/29/2014 09:18
Subject: Ex is hiding money and step mother VA
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op, it has to be an extremely high income or special situation. My husbands ex was like you and expected my income to count even though she refused to provide her boyfriends income whom she left the marriage for. Judge said no. Took the older kids off child support, ordered her to pay more in travel costs for the youngest, and a lot more visitation. They only used my income for tax purposes and given I put him in a higher tax bracket, it got slightly reduced for that. You are not entitled to his wife income.
Are you in Virginia? Together they make close to 300K. I am single with just our child.
You are missing the point. You are NOT entitled to the stepmother's income. Your child is entitled to a portion of her father's income as child support. It does not matter what state you are living in, it is your and the child's father's responsibility to provide for your child. If you cannot afford to care for your child, talk to dad or give dad custody. If you believe you are entitled to an increase based off of his income, then file. Simple. No judge is going to base it off of combined income. If you want a joint income, get married.
+1000
Look, leftover ladies. You married him. If you think he gets to increase his standard of living by leaving his child behind you are dumber than we thought. I already posted the guidance from california any other states?
FYI for those of you just shacking - up that increase HHI as well.
Do you live in California? Very, very few states allow the courts to consider a step parents income in calculating child support. Last I checked, Virginia was NOT one of them.
How in the hell do you rationalize taking another woman's money? Get a damn job and take care of your kids.
And just as an aside - my DH's idiot ex-wife tried to get her hands on more money one too many times. When my stepkids were 4 and 6, the judge gave my DH physical custody. She got every other weekend and four weeks during the summer. AND she got to write US a check every month. You sound completely certifiable. I would be careful about letting a judge see that.
I would love to have this happen. I'm over the whole struggling thing. Let him and his newest love igure out how to pay daycare, food, and shelter... Ops that's right they don't want him.
It is probably not the child they do not want, it is you.
Then take him? Oh that's right, he's told us and others he thinks he's bad and doesnt want him (2yr old btw).
Anonymous
08/29/2014 09:17
Subject: Ex is hiding money and step mother VA
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op, it has to be an extremely high income or special situation. My husbands ex was like you and expected my income to count even though she refused to provide her boyfriends income whom she left the marriage for. Judge said no. Took the older kids off child support, ordered her to pay more in travel costs for the youngest, and a lot more visitation. They only used my income for tax purposes and given I put him in a higher tax bracket, it got slightly reduced for that. You are not entitled to his wife income.
Are you in Virginia? Together they make close to 300K. I am single with just our child.
You are missing the point. You are NOT entitled to the stepmother's income. Your child is entitled to a portion of her father's income as child support. It does not matter what state you are living in, it is your and the child's father's responsibility to provide for your child. If you cannot afford to care for your child, talk to dad or give dad custody. If you believe you are entitled to an increase based off of his income, then file. Simple. No judge is going to base it off of combined income. If you want a joint income, get married.
+1000
Nope- He's told us he thinks hes bad and doesnt want him (2yr old btw).
Look, leftover ladies. You married him. If you think he gets to increase his standard of living by leaving his child behind you are dumber than we thought. I already posted the guidance from california any other states?
FYI for those of you just shacking - up that increase HHI as well.
Do you live in California? Very, very few states allow the courts to consider a step parents income in calculating child support. Last I checked, Virginia was NOT one of them.
How in the hell do you rationalize taking another woman's money? Get a damn job and take care of your kids.
And just as an aside - my DH's idiot ex-wife tried to get her hands on more money one too many times. When my stepkids were 4 and 6, the judge gave my DH physical custody. She got every other weekend and four weeks during the summer. AND she got to write US a check every month. You sound completely certifiable. I would be careful about letting a judge see that.
I would love to have this happen. I'm over the whole struggling thing. Let him and his newest love igure out how to pay daycare, food, and shelter... Ops that's right they don't want him.
It is probably not the child they do not want, it is you.
Anonymous
08/29/2014 09:16
Subject: Re:Ex is hiding money and step mother VA
Anonymous wrote:I am sure your XH is being an *sshole. People who want to game the child-support system, or any system for that matter, can. (In my personal case, my XH elects not to work, takes "loans" from his parents which cannot even be "imputed" income because they aren't gifts, turns in tax returns that indicate he only earned some $12K or $15K in taxable income, but meanwhile goes to Banff, Florida, Colorado, and Chicago with his parents.)
You just can't become crazy about it. Does it make him an *sshole that he's doing this to his children? Oh yes. It does. But it's on his conscience and our jobs are to make the best of it.
Thanks and OMG I had to google Banff. Sigh- OP
Anonymous
08/28/2014 23:54
Subject: Ex is hiding money and step mother VA
Anonymous wrote:Sorry PP it doesn't work that way. Schools and colleges require both parents' financials and signatures. My friend's daughter's father is out of the picture but every year her daughter was in college she had to find him for the college FA forms. The parents apply for FA, not the kids. Guess why? To prevent scams!
No they don't. Two of three kids went to college and none discussed it with my husband or had him sign anything. Of course it is to prevent scams. So either they lied saying he wasn't involved or they forged his name.
Anonymous
08/28/2014 23:49
Subject: Ex is hiding money and step mother VA
Sorry PP it doesn't work that way. Schools and colleges require both parents' financials and signatures. My friend's daughter's father is out of the picture but every year her daughter was in college she had to find him for the college FA forms. The parents apply for FA, not the kids. Guess why? To prevent scams!
Anonymous
08/28/2014 23:45
Subject: Ex is hiding money and step mother VA
Anonymous wrote:To the stepmothers / second wives posting here about how their income is not part of child support calculation: Correct. I suppose that's how it should be. But it's tough when your child's father quits his high paying job to freelance and make almost nothing and live off his new wife's salary and pay his ex-wife diddly. And isn't it odd that when it comes time for financial aid, whether it's independent school or college, suddenly, your income counts in the equation? This totally screws children of divorce.
Oh please, kids just lie about the income. My husband's kids got financial aid but refuse to talk to dad about it so they probably pretended dad was not involved/never paid support.
Anonymous
08/28/2014 23:42
Subject: Ex is hiding money and step mother VA
To the stepmothers / second wives posting here about how their income is not part of child support calculation: Correct. I suppose that's how it should be. But it's tough when your child's father quits his high paying job to freelance and make almost nothing and live off his new wife's salary and pay his ex-wife diddly. And isn't it odd that when it comes time for financial aid, whether it's independent school or college, suddenly, your income counts in the equation? This totally screws children of divorce.
Anonymous
08/28/2014 19:47
Subject: Ex is hiding money and step mother VA
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op, it has to be an extremely high income or special situation. My husbands ex was like you and expected my income to count even though she refused to provide her boyfriends income whom she left the marriage for. Judge said no. Took the older kids off child support, ordered her to pay more in travel costs for the youngest, and a lot more visitation. They only used my income for tax purposes and given I put him in a higher tax bracket, it got slightly reduced for that. You are not entitled to his wife income.
Are you in Virginia? Together they make close to 300K. I am single with just our child.
You are missing the point. You are NOT entitled to the stepmother's income. Your child is entitled to a portion of her father's income as child support. It does not matter what state you are living in, it is your and the child's father's responsibility to provide for your child. If you cannot afford to care for your child, talk to dad or give dad custody. If you believe you are entitled to an increase based off of his income, then file. Simple. No judge is going to base it off of combined income. If you want a joint income, get married.
+1000
Look, leftover ladies. You married him. If you think he gets to increase his standard of living by leaving his child behind you are dumber than we thought. I already posted the guidance from california any other states?
FYI for those of you just shacking - up that increase HHI as well.
Do you live in California? Very, very few states allow the courts to consider a step parents income in calculating child support. Last I checked, Virginia was NOT one of them.
How in the hell do you rationalize taking another woman's money? Get a damn job and take care of your kids.
And just as an aside - my DH's idiot ex-wife tried to get her hands on more money one too many times. When my stepkids were 4 and 6, the judge gave my DH physical custody. She got every other weekend and four weeks during the summer. AND she got to write US a check every month. You sound completely certifiable. I would be careful about letting a judge see that.
I would love to have this happen. I'm over the whole struggling thing. Let him and his newest love igure out how to pay daycare, food, and shelter... Ops that's right they don't want him.
It is probably not the child they do not want, it is you.
Anonymous
08/28/2014 18:09
Subject: Ex is hiding money and step mother VA
Anonymous wrote:Oh hi angry child support lady
+1000
Anonymous
08/28/2014 18:00
Subject: Re:Ex is hiding money and step mother VA
I am sure your XH is being an *sshole. People who want to game the child-support system, or any system for that matter, can. (In my personal case, my XH elects not to work, takes "loans" from his parents which cannot even be "imputed" income because they aren't gifts, turns in tax returns that indicate he only earned some $12K or $15K in taxable income, but meanwhile goes to Banff, Florida, Colorado, and Chicago with his parents.)
You just can't become crazy about it. Does it make him an *sshole that he's doing this to his children? Oh yes. It does. But it's on his conscience and our jobs are to make the best of it.
You just can't become crazy about it. Does it make him an *sshole that he's doing this to his children? Oh yes. It does. But it's on his conscience and our jobs are to make the best of it.
Anonymous
08/28/2014 17:52
Subject: Ex is hiding money and step mother VA
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op, it has to be an extremely high income or special situation. My husbands ex was like you and expected my income to count even though she refused to provide her boyfriends income whom she left the marriage for. Judge said no. Took the older kids off child support, ordered her to pay more in travel costs for the youngest, and a lot more visitation. They only used my income for tax purposes and given I put him in a higher tax bracket, it got slightly reduced for that. You are not entitled to his wife income.
Are you in Virginia? Together they make close to 300K. I am single with just our child.
You are missing the point. You are NOT entitled to the stepmother's income. Your child is entitled to a portion of her father's income as child support. It does not matter what state you are living in, it is your and the child's father's responsibility to provide for your child. If you cannot afford to care for your child, talk to dad or give dad custody. If you believe you are entitled to an increase based off of his income, then file. Simple. No judge is going to base it off of combined income. If you want a joint income, get married.
+1000
Look, leftover ladies. You married him. If you think he gets to increase his standard of living by leaving his child behind you are dumber than we thought. I already posted the guidance from california any other states?
FYI for those of you just shacking - up that increase HHI as well.
Do you live in California? Very, very few states allow the courts to consider a step parents income in calculating child support. Last I checked, Virginia was NOT one of them.
How in the hell do you rationalize taking another woman's money? Get a damn job and take care of your kids.
And just as an aside - my DH's idiot ex-wife tried to get her hands on more money one too many times. When my stepkids were 4 and 6, the judge gave my DH physical custody. She got every other weekend and four weeks during the summer. AND she got to write US a check every month. You sound completely certifiable. I would be careful about letting a judge see that.
I would love to have this happen. I'm over the whole struggling thing. Let him and his newest love igure out how to pay daycare, food, and shelter... Ops that's right they don't want him.