Anonymous wrote:19:08 again. Like you, I was also worried about missing our baby's "firsts." What I've discovered from watching him and the other babies is that firsts are REALLY gradual, and there isn't a clear moment when he meets any new milestone. He's been proto-crawling for weeks now, just gradually scooting better and better. There isn't going to be a moment when he suddenly starts crawling, and I'm going to miss it. The same is true for the older babies who have all started walking recently.

So true!

Anonymous wrote:
First, my experience was nearly identical to 19:08! (except mine was sick a lot)

11 weeks
April
6-8 babies
Got sick frequently. When he wasn't sick, he had a runny nose.
Yes, he got enough one-on-one time.
It was very difficult the first few weeks, but as time went by, it got easier. There were things I really appreciated about daycare: I learned a LOT from the workers there about general things like various ways to get babies to sleep, first foods, when to use a exersaucer, normal age ranges for milestones...Another pro of a daycare center is accountability. The director of ours was always available in person, email, phone or text. If there was ever an issue, she talked to the workers and had a resolution the next day. This also requires the workers to be honest and upfront with the parents as anything they do or say could possibly be related back to their boss. Our workers were great, and most issues I dealt directly with the workers. You wouldn't have that accountability with grandma or an in-home daycare. Also, I liked that he was getting the socialization. My son did very well there.

But I didn't cope well. Such a painful rude awakening to come home from work at 5:30pm, to spend less than 2 hours with my baby before bedtime. I eventually quit my job to SAH when ds was one.

I don't have bad feelings about daycare at all though.

You don't get the staff turnover at an in home daycare as you get at a daycare center. My friends with kids at centers are always complaining about turnover.

What age did you put your child in daycare? 14 weeks
What time of year was it? (Spring, Fall, Summer, Winter) Summer (July)
How big was the class size? 8 (with 2 caretakers)
How often did your children get sick in the infant class during that first year? OFTEN! Felt like I was working from home almost every week.
Do you feel that your child got enough 1-on-1 attention in the class group setting? Yes, the caretakers were very good at giving all of the children equal attention from what I could see.
How difficult was the separation for you as mom, how did you cope? Difficult at first, but I chose a daycare center 5 mins from where I worked, so initially (the first month), I went over every day on my lunch break. The caretakers were totally fine with it, and it really helped in my trusting them when I wasn't there.

What age did you put your child in daycare?
15 weeks

What time of year was it? (Spring, Fall, Summer, Winter)
Spring

How big was the class size?
8 at max - there were never more than 3 babies for 1 teacher. several babies had part-time schedules. I felt our baby got a TON of one-on-one time

How often did your children get sick in the infant class during that first year?
DS had a cold the first week he was there and pretty much off-on thereafter, but only one fever the whole time he was in the infant room. The toddler rooms have been a different story.

Do you feel that your child got enough 1-on-1 attention in the class group setting?
Absolutely. His teachers doted on all the babies in the room. They were fantastic.

How difficult was the separation for you as mom, how did you cope?
The adjustment back to commuting and working was hard on me. I was also pumping 3x/day at work which was an added stressor. I was very emotional for the first few weeks. However, I feel the transition still went very well. I knew DS was loved and cared for, and the return to routine was a lifeline for me after the hazy newborn months. Honestly, it's been more stressful now that DS is a toddler and is more active. He gets sick more (and so do we) and there's more complicated issues to deal with. We are happy with our daycare and love the community there, but it's still challenging at times.

Started DD at 2 months, which happened to be Dec., and she's honestly been sick maybe twice ever, and she's about to turn 5 (years, not months). Her infant room had 3 teachers per student, and I fully believed that their experienced, warm, professional care was probably better than what I could do at home!

I never felt much guilt about the separation, but I worked around the corner and dropped in occasionally. I'm sure school saw many "first" milestones before us, but us seeing the first walk, talk, whatever was still a "first" for us. For me, at least, being able to see a whole group of kids develop together also reassured me that there's a wide range of "normal."

We were all sick off and on for DS's first year of daycare, starting in that same time frame.

The real struggle we had was plugging on with work and home life while feeling crappy a lot of the time.

I'd advise you to set expectations low in terms of how much you get accomplished outside of the basics in the first several months.

You also might as well visit CVS before you go back to work and stock up on your and DH's cold medicine's of choice (remember no Sudafed type drugs if you're breast-feeding), cough drops, extra Kleenex, Boogie wipes, saline spray bottle for each of you, pain killer of choice for the baby, Lysol wipes, and go ahead and get Orajel and a teether while you're at it, because teething will be the on the agenda soon too.

Oh, and if you don't have a Nosefrida, get that. Saline spray followed by Nosefrida was the best way to decongest our little guy so he would be more content. Boogie wipes are amazing too for little noses.

Not sure if this is helpful, but I found the cost of a nanny share to be equal to a really good daycare center - $1,700/month.

What age did you put your child in daycare? 4.5 months
What time of year was it? (Spring, Fall, Summer, Winter) Summer
How big was the class size? Maxed out at 7 infants
How often did your children get sick in the infant class during that first year? Once a month for first ~4 months, then very rarely after that. Some periods of constant runny nose in between.
Do you feel that your child got enough 1-on-1 attention in the class group setting? Yes. Not my ideal, but nothing we were bothered by.
How difficult was the separation for you as mom, how did you cope? The separation was not difficult for me; I was happy to be back at work and have some autonomy and personal space / time. What got hard was when DD was a little older and into solids and we had this new wrinkle in our morning and evening routines (not as simple as just BFing) that made the logistics tough. Ultimately handled that by changing jobs.

OP - where are you, and how many weeks do you have left of mat leave? Please tell me you've already reserved a spot somewhere... infant spots in this area are notoriously hard to get. Unless things have changed in the past 3 years, in which case, ignore!

What age did you put your child in daycare? 10 weeks (center based)
What time of year was it? (Spring, Fall, Summer, Winter) Spring
How big was the class size? Maybe 4-6 babies in the "little babies" room, with another 4-6 in the "big babies" room (aka mobile babies)
How often did your children get sick in the infant class during that first year? Never? In the first year, DD got ONE ear infection, that was it. DH and I, on the other hand, picked up EVERYTHING that ran through the infant room... pinkeye in both eyes, strep, every little cold, you name it. It was crazy, but it was only the first year. After that, we are back to healthy
Do you feel that your child got enough 1-on-1 attention in the class group setting? Yes. The infant ratio is 1:4 I think? When she started smiling and cooing and acting happy to see the DCPs, it made us feel a lot better. She also has grown up, literally, with other kids her same age, which is nice. 3 years later, she's still in class with some of those kids that were infants together. She's pretty socially in-tune, and I can only assume it's because she spends so much time in a larger social group.
How difficult was the separation for you as mom, how did you cope? It was not that hard for me, but probably because DH always did drop off. When I left in the AM to go to work... I was leaving DD with DH, which was not hard.

I feel like it was so hard to judge real "first" - I mean, first step. How do you actually categorize this attempt = not a step, and that one = a step! DH and I were pretty laid back about the milestones in general, so is it possible she said her first "real word" or took her first "real step" at daycare? Yes... but we're not losing sleep over it. We still got to watch her develop those skills, and that was fun too.

DH was not comfortable with in home daycare unless it was someone we knew, and we don't know anyone who does that. Combine that with our sorta weird work hours, and a center made the best sense for our family. It's nice in that they only close 1 day per year that DH or I don't already have off (MLK maybe? We're not feds). We don't have to worry about their vacations, sick days, etc. They have (not in the infant room of course) exposed her to soccer and yoga and all kinds of stuff. It's great.

The first time I showed up and DD ran AWAY from me crying because she wanted to play on the playground WITH HER FRIENDS (she was 2) completely absolved me of any lingering guilt. If you find a quality center, and it's a good fit for your family, the DCPs just become part of the village for you (in that whole "it takes a village" scenario). Also, the transition to Pre-K is pretty much a non-issue... yes, she's moving to a different room, but that new room is already full of her friends that are a few months older than her. The transition to full-day K will be a non-issue aside from the "it's a different school" thing.

Wow, I am very similar to PP 00:03 as far as baby age & timing!

What age did you put your child in daycare? -- 4 months, baby is 9 months now

What time of year was it? (Spring, Fall, Summer, Winter) --March 2014

How big was the class size? at the time, one 6 month old and two 2.5 year olds with one 2 year old part time (in-home daycare)

How often did your children get sick in the infant class during that first year? Never. We were so lucky! We had a few runny noses, but that was it. In June we were incredibly lucky as every single kid got hand foot mouth except for ours.

Do you feel that your child got enough 1-on-1 attention in the class group setting? Yes, I love my daycare provider. To me, it feels like a family member is watching my son like an aunt or something. We are on the same page. The older kids play pretty independently and have been together since they were babies so she can give attention to the younger babies. Right now it's probably a little hard for her as my 9 month old is crawling and the 12 month old is starting to walk so I'm sure she's ready to pass those stages!

How difficult was the separation for you as mom, how did you cope? My son was very very colicky and I was exhausted and worn out, spent maternity leave inside as it was aa bitter cold winter and we rarely got out. So I was ready to go back to work. The first 2 weeks were very hard. He didn't want to take a bottle, he didn't want to sleep, he cried a lot. My provider thought maybe it might not work out. Then one day he just clicked and we are all happy. 9 months is such a fun interactive stage and I really miss him, but I really appreciate and don't take for granted the time I do have with him in the morning, evenings and weekends!

Good Luck

What age did you put your child in daycare? -- 4 months, baby is 9 mos now
What time of year was it? (Spring, Fall, Summer, Winter) -- March 2014
How big was the class size? 4 infants now, to 1 teacher, but at first it was 2 infants, and then a 3rd and then a 4th so it was helpful for us to ease into this type of care
How often did your children get sick in the infant class during that first year? So far just 1 fever that lasted about 3 days. Otherwise some mild sniffles. We've been lucky (knocks on wood)
Do you feel that your child got enough 1-on-1 attention in the class group setting? -- I hope so! I love to hear the stories about how much parents love their day care. I would say we are ok with our day care. I don't know whether that is an ok daycare or if we are just ok with the concept of daycare in general. I kind of wished we had explored a nanny share or in home in more detail. My hesitation is that we have had turnover in teachers and it seems there is always something that we are worried about.
How difficult was the separation for you as mom, how did you cope? It was really hard at first. I had to resist every instinct in my body to turn around and take her home. But I didn't. And I love my job and I really do like being able to be the "old" me during the day. I do think about my baby a lot and miss her terribly but I do think I'm a better mom because of that separation. For the first few weeks I had a tough time with it. I wept on more than one occasion in the morning before work and after getting home. I agree with the PP who talked about quality versus quantity. I really struggled with the quantity for awhile but I think the quality is better than when I was on maternity leave and if I was at home. I had 10 days with her for vacation though and I cherished each and every awake hour with her for those whole 10 days! It will take awhile to adjust to the routine, but you will adjust and it will be ok! Even great! Good luck with the transition! It is hard but worth it.

Anonymous wrote:OP, your post is very strange and I don't understand why you are acting like putting your child in daycare is such a horrible, terrible thing while it's so incredibly common. Just relax, everything will be fine.

+1...DS starts daycare in two weeks and I cannot wait. He'll be 11 weeks, and while I love him dearly, I cannot wait to go back to work. I know he will be well taken care of at daycare, and I can return to a career that I greatly enjoy.

OP, I wouldn't worry about starting your baby on a schedule at home. Daycare workers will do that! Any semblance of a daytime schedule my son had was out the window anyway, because babies change so much when they're that young, new surroundings can alter their rhythms, and some providers might just find it easier (or beneficial to your baby) to get your baby on their schedule.

First, my experience was nearly identical to 19:08! (except mine was sick a lot)

11 weeks
April
6-8 babies
Got sick frequently. When he wasn't sick, he had a runny nose.
Yes, he got enough one-on-one time.
It was very difficult the first few weeks, but as time went by, it got easier. There were things I really appreciated about daycare: I learned a LOT from the workers there about general things like various ways to get babies to sleep, first foods, when to use a exersaucer, normal age ranges for milestones...Another pro of a daycare center is accountability. The director of ours was always available in person, email, phone or text. If there was ever an issue, she talked to the workers and had a resolution the next day. This also requires the workers to be honest and upfront with the parents as anything they do or say could possibly be related back to their boss. Our workers were great, and most issues I dealt directly with the workers. You wouldn't have that accountability with grandma or an in-home daycare. Also, I liked that he was getting the socialization. My son did very well there.

But I didn't cope well. Such a painful rude awakening to come home from work at 5:30pm, to spend less than 2 hours with my baby before bedtime. I eventually quit my job to SAH when ds was one.

I don't have bad feelings about daycare at all though.

Anonymous wrote:19:08 again. Like you, I was also worried about missing our baby's "firsts." What I've discovered from watching him and the other babies is that firsts are REALLY gradual, and there isn't a clear moment when he meets any new milestone. He's been proto-crawling for weeks now, just gradually scooting better and better. There isn't going to be a moment when he suddenly starts crawling, and I'm going to miss it. The same is true for the older babies who have all started walking recently.

Our care providers asked me whether or not I wanted to know about DS's firsts. I said sure, but they said some parents don't even want to know about it so they can experience it for themselves (I guess hearing he'd already crawled at daycare would make it less exciting to see it at home?). I missed very few firsts. The only thing that comes to mind is the first time he was able to sit without support...when the daycare worker showed me (she was so excited!), he toppled over after 4 seconds. So like PP said, many things are gradual. And you will still be really excited the first time YOU see him do anything.