Anonymous
Post 08/17/2014 09:59     Subject: Christ-Centered, faith based organizations for girls?
OP needs to decide if these values are HER OWN values or she just wants a moral code taught to her daughter (even if it isn't what OP lives/believes). It's one thing to say you want your daughter (and/or sons) to learn right from wrong and have moral standards and all, but it's another thing to put the kids in a position where they are learning things that are inconsistent with how parents live and what they believe.

It is a big mistake to put your child in a group that provides moral structure that you, op, do not support. You will feel uncomfortable in the family situations b/c it will be assumed that you agree with the same teachings. And you should assume that in any group, the leaders are usually the more stident believers. So, think about whether you just want the results (i.e. moral standards) vs. whether you can live with the implementation (i.e. having your child taught beliefs that you may not 100% agree with).

How much of the teachings do you agree with and how much are you willing to overlook (if you don't agree with it)? These are the reasons we didn't send our children to catholic school and we aren't staying in cub scouts -- b/c although we like the overall investment in teaching character (for school) or outdoors skills (for scouts), we just can't endure the hypocrisy that it would be for us to pretend that we agree with all the teachings -- when we don't. I'm not saying that either catholic school or scouts are bad places -- not at all -- I went to catholic school for 11 years and DH was a boy scout all the way through -- but we feel there are enough teachings/requirements that are contrary to our beliefs today that we can't just pretend to support it just to get the benefits of the programs (and we do believe there are benefits).

So, maybe you look at programs like this as a substitute for bringing your children up in a church --- which may backfire on you if your own beliefs do not match up. Or maybe these programs would be a good fit for you (i.e. AHG and AWANA) if you actually do hold these beliefs. Only you know the answer to this.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2014 09:10     Subject: Christ-Centered, faith based organizations for girls?
Anonymous wrote:I think AHG and Awana are definitely your best bets.


AWANA for sure.
Anonymous
Post 08/17/2014 00:12     Subject: Christ-Centered, faith based organizations for girls?
Op, I hope you will teach your daughter aboit STDs and encourage her to have her fiance tested. Just because she is a virgin, does not mean he will be.

Also, you should check out the threads about sexual incompatibility. If she is incompatible with her husband, he might divorce her. You might want to prepare her for that possibility.

I grew up with certain values and chose to remain a virgin until I realised I might never get married. So I had sex with my bf and wwe ended up getting married a year later. If I had not made that decision, chances are we never would have dated and I would still be single.

If you shove abstinence only down her throat, it will backfire. You cannot hide contraception from her. It is on tv, the internet, the stores. Her friends will talk about it. The best thing you can do is to educate her.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2014 23:57     Subject: Christ-Centered, faith based organizations for girls?
Anonymous wrote:So you're not even that religious, but your main concern for your -year-old is that she stay pure until marriage? what horrible, dark corner did you crawl out of?


+1

I cannot stand people who think like OP. They want their daughters ignorant. So they will either end up pregnant at 16, married at 18 to anyone so they can nave sex or wait a long time to marry and feel guilt so they do not enjoy sex. I bet they do not teach the abstinence only to their sons. And some Catholic girls will save their virginity for marriage but will have oral and anal sex in high school. At least in my high school.
Anonymous
Post 08/16/2014 21:16     Subject: Re:Christ-Centered, faith based organizations for girls?



OP - I think you have gotten some good ideas on programs from a couple of helpful parents and the usual harangue from the crazies. In terms of other wholesome activities that you may want to consider for your daughter as she grows up in terms of at least peer and community service, I would also recommend being a volunteer at a Special Olympics sports training in a sport that she enjoys and has some skills in when she is perhaps 10 or so working with younger children if there is ever a need in your area.

In high school, there is a wonderful program called Young Life, which we did not know all that much about when our girls went through high school. However, in recent years a special monthly program of it called Capernaum for teens and young adults with disabilities was begun in our area of Virginia, and it is just great. Both programs are based on Christiam values technically, but I know teens of all faiths (including Jewish) attend the special program. College students mentor typical high school student AND both high school and college students plan and carryout the program for those with special needs.

You are on the right track in finding a positive program with peers for your young daughter. Ignore what others on a random board spout about.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2014 13:06     Subject: Christ-Centered, faith based organizations for girls?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I sure am surprised at the turn this thread has taken. I'm the PP who has been in AHG for the last 3 years, and I led the 5-6 year old girls last year. We never once ever talked about being a virgin or sex before marriage. That is not going to come up for awhile that's for sure.

I don't see what's wrong with attending AHG even if you don't attend Church regularly. You can believe in Christ without going to church.

For the 5-6 year olds, we had 4 units: Love God, Honor my Country, Cherish my Family and Serve in my Community. I guess you all can pick apart and say talking about these subjects is bad in some way, but I can't imagine how.


Well, as a leader of 5 and 6 year old American Heritage girls, would you allow children with two lesbian parents or gay dads join your troop? Be leaders?

From the Statement of Faith, it appears that you should not, as that would violate your standard of purity. Correct?


What? I don't even understand your question.


Yes, that is one of the big differences between AHG and Girl Scouts, and what I have suspected from the beginning of this thread that OP is really interested in (no gays). Girl Scouts have always been welcoming to all kinds of families.


Op said nothing about it. You are just trying to twist her post around to further your own agenda. Just start a new thread, rather than trying to derail this thread with your 'everything is about sexual orientation' agenda.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2014 13:03     Subject: Christ-Centered, faith based organizations for girls?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I sure am surprised at the turn this thread has taken. I'm the PP who has been in AHG for the last 3 years, and I led the 5-6 year old girls last year. We never once ever talked about being a virgin or sex before marriage. That is not going to come up for awhile that's for sure.

I don't see what's wrong with attending AHG even if you don't attend Church regularly. You can believe in Christ without going to church.

For the 5-6 year olds, we had 4 units: Love God, Honor my Country, Cherish my Family and Serve in my Community. I guess you all can pick apart and say talking about these subjects is bad in some way, but I can't imagine how.


Well, as a leader of 5 and 6 year old American Heritage girls, would you allow children with two lesbian parents or gay dads join your troop? Be leaders?

From the Statement of Faith, it appears that you should not, as that would violate your standard of purity. Correct?


What? I don't even understand your question.


Yes, that is one of the big differences between AHG and Girl Scouts, and what I have suspected from the beginning of this thread that OP is really interested in (no gays). Girl Scouts have always been welcoming to all kinds of families.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2014 12:47     Subject: Christ-Centered, faith based organizations for girls?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I sure am surprised at the turn this thread has taken. I'm the PP who has been in AHG for the last 3 years, and I led the 5-6 year old girls last year. We never once ever talked about being a virgin or sex before marriage. That is not going to come up for awhile that's for sure.

I don't see what's wrong with attending AHG even if you don't attend Church regularly. You can believe in Christ without going to church.

For the 5-6 year olds, we had 4 units: Love God, Honor my Country, Cherish my Family and Serve in my Community. I guess you all can pick apart and say talking about these subjects is bad in some way, but I can't imagine how.


Well, as a leader of 5 and 6 year old American Heritage girls, would you allow children with two lesbian parents or gay dads join your troop? Be leaders?

From the Statement of Faith, it appears that you should not, as that would violate your standard of purity. Correct?


What? I don't even understand your question.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2014 12:37     Subject: Christ-Centered, faith based organizations for girls?
Anonymous wrote:

I'm giving the OP the benefit of the doubt. For all we know she has had or knows those who have had negative experiences from having sex early on and therefore wants to raise her DD in an environment that encourages waiting. No, I don't think it's effective either, but I get trying to raise your kid better than you were (assuming OP has negative history with sexual activity) and sometimes that results in different choices.

For example, maybe someone comes from a family of alcoholics and doesn't want her child around parents who drink openly. We can all say, "Seeing an adult drink at a dinner party doesn't lead to alcoholism, and besides, your kid is 6! she's not going to pop open a cold one anytime soon." But that person may be sensitive to exposure from an early age. OP may not think 6 is too early for this or maybe she wants to have her DD build a community for years that openly values abstinence.

We just don't know.


The problem is, the only time I have actually seen this "work", is when abstinence was one of many values help by a close-knit faith or cultural community. Children raised in such communities will sometimes (not always) willingly delay intercourse until they are at least in a serious relationship, and even pass those values to their own children. On the other hand, kids raised with abstinence as "the" value are much more likely to join the ranks of guilt-ridden neurotics or teenage parents.


Sure, but I'm not going to say OP is "out there" or creepy for pursuing this path.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2014 11:24     Subject: Christ-Centered, faith based organizations for girls?
Anonymous wrote:I sure am surprised at the turn this thread has taken. I'm the PP who has been in AHG for the last 3 years, and I led the 5-6 year old girls last year. We never once ever talked about being a virgin or sex before marriage. That is not going to come up for awhile that's for sure.

I don't see what's wrong with attending AHG even if you don't attend Church regularly. You can believe in Christ without going to church.

For the 5-6 year olds, we had 4 units: Love God, Honor my Country, Cherish my Family and Serve in my Community. I guess you all can pick apart and say talking about these subjects is bad in some way, but I can't imagine how.


Well, as a leader of 5 and 6 year old American Heritage girls, would you allow children with two lesbian parents or gay dads join your troop? Be leaders?

From the Statement of Faith, it appears that you should not, as that would violate your standard of purity. Correct?
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2014 11:22     Subject: Christ-Centered, faith based organizations for girls?
Anonymous wrote:I sure am surprised at the turn this thread has taken. I'm the PP who has been in AHG for the last 3 years, and I led the 5-6 year old girls last year. We never once ever talked about being a virgin or sex before marriage. That is not going to come up for awhile that's for sure.



But it is right there in the American Heritage Girl Statement of Faith:



https://www.ahgonline.org/statementoffaith

American Heritage Girls is a Christ-centered leadership and character development ministry.

The following Statement of Faith applies to all American Heritage Girls' Charter Organizations, Adult Members and Adult Leaders.

"We believe that there is One Triune God – Father, Jesus Christ, His one and only Son; and the Holy Spirit – Creator of the universe and eternally existent. We believe the Holy Scriptures (Old and New Testaments) to be the inspired and authoritative Word of God. We believe each person is created in His image for the purpose of communing with and worshipping God. We believe in the ministry of the Holy Spirit, Who enables us to live godly lives. We believe that each individual is called to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength; and to love our neighbors as ourselves. We believe God calls us to lives of purity, service, stewardship and integrity."

Clarity is further provided to the following terms:

Purity- God calls us to lives of holiness, being pure of heart, mind, word and deed. We are to reserve sexual activity to the sanctity of marriage; a lifelong commitment before God between a man and a woman.

Service- God calls us to become responsible members of our community and the world through selfless acts that contribute to the welfare of others.

Stewardship- God calls us to use our God given time, talents and money wisely.

Integrity- God calls us to live moral lives that demonstrate an inward motivation to do what is right, regardless of the cost.


Why the need to spell out the adult members believe we are to reserve sexual activity to the sanctity of marriage/no divorce/man and woman only unless there is the understanding that this issue will come up?
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2014 11:04     Subject: Christ-Centered, faith based organizations for girls?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ha. So many women wait until their 30s to get married. Surely a 23, 24, 30 year old woman can make a valid choice about having sex before marriage.

I waited a veeeery long time, into my 20s. I didn't think it was immoral or sinful to have sex before marriage. I just knew what was right for me.

I'm an atheist.


PS: My parents didn't think it was immoral or sinful, either. Mum talked with me about birth control in my teens. They allowed me to express how I felt about boys, relationships, all that. Another sister also waited a very long time--oh, how chaste we were. Third sister held out 'til age 15 or 16. She was always the leader in her relationships, and still is, in some ways now that she's in her mid 30s. Always very responsible, too. Parents never worried about her being bullied or coerced.

I think the key here is that everyone was safe, made good choices, was respectful, expected to be respected, was informed, knew all about science, thoughtful and reflective, and all that. Honestly. Self-awareness, other-awareness, and science are the holy trinity when it comes to sexual choices.


Those are YOUR values about sex. Not everyone shares them and that is actually okay. Others have other values that they see as important related to sexual choices. Your parents instilled in you their values about sex and you seem to have continued to share in their values. Ops daughter may do the same and continue to share the values her parents instill in her.


Sorry to belabor the point, but I think there is a huge difference between sexual values that come out of one's religion or general life philosophy (like PP's values that seem to come from her family's general belief in respecting other people and making smart choices in life) and a sex-negative value that seems unrelated to any deeply held religious belief. If OP had said, "we don't go to Hindu temple, but one of the most important criteria when selecting an after school program for my child is that they practice strict Hinduism and feed her a strictly vegetarian diet and emphasize the importance of adhering to such a diet for the rest of her life." Would you say, "OP is entitled to raise her child Hindu," or would you assume that OP has some (probably unhealthy) obsession with restricting what her child eats that has nothing to do with religion or core moral values?


I'm giving the OP the benefit of the doubt. For all we know she has had or knows those who have had negative experiences from having sex early on and therefore wants to raise her DD in an environment that encourages waiting. No, I don't think it's effective either, but I get trying to raise your kid better than you were (assuming OP has negative history with sexual activity) and sometimes that results in different choices.

For example, maybe someone comes from a family of alcoholics and doesn't want her child around parents who drink openly. We can all say, "Seeing an adult drink at a dinner party doesn't lead to alcoholism, and besides, your kid is 6! she's not going to pop open a cold one anytime soon." But that person may be sensitive to exposure from an early age. OP may not think 6 is too early for this or maybe she wants to have her DD build a community for years that openly values abstinence.

We just don't know.


The problem is, the only time I have actually seen this "work", is when abstinence was one of many values help by a close-knit faith or cultural community. Children raised in such communities will sometimes (not always) willingly delay intercourse until they are at least in a serious relationship, and even pass those values to their own children. On the other hand, kids raised with abstinence as "the" value are much more likely to join the ranks of guilt-ridden neurotics or teenage parents.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2014 11:02     Subject: Christ-Centered, faith based organizations for girls?
I sure am surprised at the turn this thread has taken. I'm the PP who has been in AHG for the last 3 years, and I led the 5-6 year old girls last year. We never once ever talked about being a virgin or sex before marriage. That is not going to come up for awhile that's for sure.

I don't see what's wrong with attending AHG even if you don't attend Church regularly. You can believe in Christ without going to church.

For the 5-6 year olds, we had 4 units: Love God, Honor my Country, Cherish my Family and Serve in my Community. I guess you all can pick apart and say talking about these subjects is bad in some way, but I can't imagine how.