Anonymous wrote:

Ah, I see. It's ok to judge my lack of one but not ok to even mention he had one. Ok, thanks. Done here.

Nobody is judging you....seriously.

You have some issues you need to deal with way beyond your current health issue. You playing the victim all the time is fucking sad.

It just kills me that I waited for no reason. What was the point?

Two things - you can't change the fact that you waited, so let go of it. Thing 2, part of the reason you waited (per you) were your religious beliefs, which I imagine are or were important to you. That had nothing to do with what your husband did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It just kills me that I waited for no reason. What was the point?

Well, if you're conservative Catholic, I'm quite sure that you had many other reasons for waiting rather than avoiding STD's right? Focus on those.

Sure. But avoiding STD's and being able to become fully one with my husband were big ones. And I can't yet accept the no one is dirty theology quite yet.

Any advice about dealing with the shame from friends? When this first began I told a friend and she said "Wait, but I thought you waited. Only <promiscuous folks> get that." Clearly we know that's not true and we are no longer friends, but you get the idea.

Shame from friends?

Why would you even discuss this with them? This is a private matter. And if you are advertising it, I'd be PISSED if I were your husband.

Totally.

You basically revealed his private sexual history to your friend? Ouch. You are a piece if work. No wonder he is done with you and this situation.

Ah, I see. It's ok to judge my lack of one but not ok to even mention he had one. Ok, thanks. Done here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I only told the one but a few are questioning why I'm always at the doctor. It's hard to hide that something's wrong.

I don't really understand your health issues but HPV isn't going to keep you at the doctor that often correct?

It does if you need repeat colpos and LEEPs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It just kills me that I waited for no reason. What was the point?

Well, if you're conservative Catholic, I'm quite sure that you had many other reasons for waiting rather than avoiding STD's right? Focus on those.

Sure. But avoiding STD's and being able to become fully one with my husband were big ones. And I can't yet accept the no one is dirty theology quite yet.

Any advice about dealing with the shame from friends? When this first began I told a friend and she said "Wait, but I thought you waited. Only <promiscuous folks> get that." Clearly we know that's not true and we are no longer friends, but you get the idea.

Shame from friends?

Why would you even discuss this with them? This is a private matter. And if you are advertising it, I'd be PISSED if I were your husband.

Totally.

You basically revealed his private sexual history to your friend? Ouch. You are a piece if work. No wonder he is done with you and this situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It just kills me that I waited for no reason. What was the point?

Well, if you're conservative Catholic, I'm quite sure that you had many other reasons for waiting rather than avoiding STD's right? Focus on those.

Sure. But avoiding STD's and being able to become fully one with my husband were big ones. And I can't yet accept the no one is dirty theology quite yet.

Any advice about dealing with the shame from friends? When this first began I told a friend and she said "Wait, but I thought you waited. Only <promiscuous folks> get that." Clearly we know that's not true and we are no longer friends, but you get the idea.

Get new friends. Seriously. If someone is making you feel ashamed they are not, I repeat NOT your friend!

And stop judging your husband for his past!

Maybe I'm clueless, but it seems to me that for an HPV infection to turn into such a serious health issue time and neglect. You say that you had no sexual contact with anyone except your husband. Did you neglect to go see a gyno for years and years too?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It just kills me that I waited for no reason. What was the point?

Well, if you're conservative Catholic, I'm quite sure that you had many other reasons for waiting rather than avoiding STD's right? Focus on those.

Sure. But avoiding STD's and being able to become fully one with my husband were big ones. And I can't yet accept the no one is dirty theology quite yet.

Any advice about dealing with the shame from friends? When this first began I told a friend and she said "Wait, but I thought you waited. Only <promiscuous folks> get that." Clearly we know that's not true and we are no longer friends, but you get the idea.

Shame from friends?

Why would you even discuss this with them? This is a private matter. And if you are advertising it, I'd be PISSED if I were your husband.

Because I was upset.....

I only told the one but a few are questioning why I'm always at the doctor. It's hard to hide that something's wrong.

I don't really understand your health issues but HPV isn't going to keep you at the doctor that often correct? It is going to be the other issue you are dealing with?

If I am correct....then tell them it is because of an issue you are dealing with. They don't need to know details. If a friend told me this when I asked, I would leave it alone.

Just like when my ex and I split......everyone asks why. I tell them "Things didn't work out unfortunately"...and leave it at that. They don't need to know who said/did what. That is none of their business.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It just kills me that I waited for no reason. What was the point?

Well, if you're conservative Catholic, I'm quite sure that you had many other reasons for waiting rather than avoiding STD's right? Focus on those.

Sure. But avoiding STD's and being able to become fully one with my husband were big ones. And I can't yet accept the no one is dirty theology quite yet.

Any advice about dealing with the shame from friends? When this first began I told a friend and she said "Wait, but I thought you waited. Only <promiscuous folks> get that." Clearly we know that's not true and we are no longer friends, but you get the idea.

Shame from friends?

Why would you even discuss this with them? This is a private matter. And if you are advertising it, I'd be PISSED if I were your husband.

Because I was upset.....

I only told the one but a few are questioning why I'm always at the doctor. It's hard to hide that something's wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It just kills me that I waited for no reason. What was the point?

Well, if you're conservative Catholic, I'm quite sure that you had many other reasons for waiting rather than avoiding STD's right? Focus on those.

Sure. But avoiding STD's and being able to become fully one with my husband were big ones. And I can't yet accept the no one is dirty theology quite yet.

Any advice about dealing with the shame from friends? When this first began I told a friend and she said "Wait, but I thought you waited. Only <promiscuous folks> get that." Clearly we know that's not true and we are no longer friends, but you get the idea.

Shame from friends?

Why would you even discuss this with them? This is a private matter. And if you are advertising it, I'd be PISSED if I were your husband.

Anonymous wrote:It just kills me that I waited for no reason. What was the point?

Well, presumably you waited for that special person. If the only reason to wait was to avoid HPV, well, you would have been better off having sex anyway and using a condom. But I'm sure there was more to your decision to wait besides avoiding STDs.

I get that your situation is bad. I would be very anxious and upset in your shoes. But you need to separate out the crappy stuff happening to you now from whether you waited to have sex until you were married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It just kills me that I waited for no reason. What was the point?

Well, if you're conservative Catholic, I'm quite sure that you had many other reasons for waiting rather than avoiding STD's right? Focus on those.

Sure. But avoiding STD's and being able to become fully one with my husband were big ones. And I can't yet accept the no one is dirty theology quite yet.

Any advice about dealing with the shame from friends? When this first began I told a friend and she said "Wait, but I thought you waited. Only <promiscuous folks> get that." Clearly we know that's not true and we are no longer friends, but you get the idea.

15:34 to 15:31 -- snap!

Anonymous wrote:It just kills me that I waited for no reason. What was the point?

I can understand why that's a hard thing for you -- but that's your own issue, it really has nothing to do with your husband or your current health issues. I absolutely agree your husband should be more supportive, but I suspect he may be frustrated that you're bringing in all these other things that are done and can't be changed.

Was avoiding STDs really the ONLY reason you waited? Or did you have other convictions about waiting for the right person, sanctity of marriage, etc.? If so, I would focus on those other reasons, which are still true.

Anonymous wrote:It just kills me that I waited for no reason. What was the point?

Well, if you're conservative Catholic, I'm quite sure that you had many other reasons for waiting rather than avoiding STD's right? Focus on those.