Anonymous wrote:My ds has been a latchkey since 8. He's 9 now, and although he is now in an aftercare setting he does stay overnight in the house while I work 1030-5am. Very rarely has be called me upset or scared- once at age 8 if I remember and not at all at age 9.
I have no family in the area and daycares do not work with the hours of my job. His aftercare sitter is a friend of mine but can not keep him overnight.

Wow, at nine I would have been scared to be alone in the house all night, especially to sleep in the house with nobody else at home. Even as a teen that creeped me out a bit.

Anonymous wrote:I would not leave a nine year old home alone.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ds has been a latchkey since 8. He's 9 now, and although he is now in an aftercare setting he does stay overnight in the house while I work 1030-5am. Very rarely has be called me upset or scared- once at age 8 if I remember and not at all at age 9.
I have no family in the area and daycares do not work with the hours of my job. His aftercare sitter is a friend of mine but can not keep him overnight.

Yikes. Are you sure this is legal?

OP you quoted. I don't know but if we want to eat I have to work.

There isn't a legal age limit in Virginia- at least not according to google. A few states do have age limits- usually 10 years old, in some cases 12, and in one case 6 (wth).

I will be conservative and would probably leave ds for an hour or so at age 10.

OP I do think it depends on the child. If your child isn't impulsive, follows rules and knows basic safety you could probably start with an hour and build to two.

Anonymous wrote:My ds has been a latchkey since 8. He's 9 now, and although he is now in an aftercare setting he does stay overnight in the house while I work 1030-5am. Very rarely has be called me upset or scared- once at age 8 if I remember and not at all at age 9.
I have no family in the area and daycares do not work with the hours of my job. His aftercare sitter is a friend of mine but can not keep him overnight.

Yikes. Are you sure this is legal?

As stated, it depends on the kid. What we are comfortable with for our 9 yr old:

OK during waking hours if we are in the neighborhood (grocery store, dinner party at the neighbor's house) and could be home within 5-10 minutes. I think the longest was 3 hours when we were across the street.

She can use the toaster oven, but not the microwave, stove or regular oven.

I don't want her showering while we are not home b/c she is a klutz and that would be the one time she slips and falls in the tub.

FWIW, we have dogs to keep her company and deter any would-be break ins. We also have a landline. And fabulous neighbors.

I also won't take the dogs for a run while she is asleep, although that would make life a lot simpler when DH travels for work.

I leave my 9 yr old locked in the house when I take the dog for a walk and my DS doesn't want to come. I've also left him for appr. the same amount of time to run to the pharmacy. When he is 10, I might leave him for an hour or so. He is playing video games or watching TV when I am gone. He knows not to answer the door and to only answer the phone if he sees my number.

My kids have stayed home for stretches depending on their own comfort and how responsible they are. My now 11 year old stayed home alone for 3-4 hours when she was 9. Usually thought it was more 1-2 hours if I went tot he store and she didn't want to come. She is very responsible and comfortable on her own. She is like a mini adult. Now she stays home whenever she wants for as long as she wants. She reads for hours.

My current 9 yr old I do not leave home alone with this siblings. It just never goes well. I left him once home alone by himself for about 20 minutes while I went next door after long talks about showing me how responsible he could be but I wasn't really comfortable with it. He doesn't make great decisions. I have no idea when I will be comfortable leaving him alone.

My 8 yr old is pretty responsible but she is a people person and gets bored so she would always rather come with me than stay home alone or even with siblings (one who just reads and one who annoys her). I have never left her alone. I would be fine leaving her for maybe 30 minutes or so but she doesn't want to stay home alone so it won't happen until she wants to.

Every kid is different.

My ds has been a latchkey since 8. He's 9 now, and although he is now in an aftercare setting he does stay overnight in the house while I work 1030-5am. Very rarely has be called me upset or scared- once at age 8 if I remember and not at all at age 9.
I have no family in the area and daycares do not work with the hours of my job. His aftercare sitter is a friend of mine but can not keep him overnight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say - don't leave child alone until they are 10...and even then, start with 15 minutes and work up to only an hour or so gradually...By the time they are 12, maybe 2 hours.

It depends on child, too. My oldest is 10.5 and I can leave him for a little bit of time, but I can't leave him alone with his younger siblings and I doubt I will ever be able to do that as they fight!

My friend with kids also follows these rules...

10 is too young for more than an hour or so during the day - that's the time to start, but by 12 two hours is insufficient.

Of course, it depends on the kid, and of course, a kid alone is ok at a younger age than a kid taking care of a sibling.

Really? I am a PP who wouldn't leave a 9 year old home alone. But 12? My girls were babysitting other people's children at 12. I think by 12 most kids are fine home alone for a good part of the day.

Anonymous wrote:I say - don't leave child alone until they are 10...and even then, start with 15 minutes and work up to only an hour or so gradually...By the time they are 12, maybe 2 hours.

It depends on child, too. My oldest is 10.5 and I can leave him for a little bit of time, but I can't leave him alone with his younger siblings and I doubt I will ever be able to do that as they fight!

My friend with kids also follows these rules...

10 is too young for more than an hour or so during the day - that's the time to start, but by 12 two hours is insufficient.

Of course, it depends on the kid, and of course, a kid alone is ok at a younger age than a kid taking care of a sibling.

I leave my 9-year old alone for up to 30 minutes. That's about all we're comfortable with at this point. Before I leave, I usually key my cell phone number into the phone so she just has to hit "redial" if she needs to call me. I did it twice today - once to drive my other child to camp and once so I could go for a run in the neighborhood.

My 8 year old will stay home alone for up to an hour when I run to the grocery store or pick up their younger sister. I won't leave them home with the younger sister who is almost 5. Neither of my 8 year olds are wild kids--they're pretty cautious and play by the rules. And yes, the house could burn down or be burgled. But I don't live my life with the "what if's" when it comes to parenting and never have.

2 hours on occasion is fine for my 9 yo DD, who had been staying home alone for an hour at age 8. I tend to feel more comfortable with it when I am doing something nearby, so that if anything comes up I can be home within 10 minutes. Recently, I made her come with me to bring a relative to the airport 45 minutes away because I was worried that I would be kind of far away if she needed me even though I was only gone 90 minutes in total.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't do it . . . case of fire . . and we've been burgled during the day. I think VA law is children under 12 not to be left alone but that may have changed.

Not true for Va. law!