OP, just don't go out to lunch with her so often. You each have different views of things, and they don't mesh.

Just be polite but kind of frosty and disinterested with her. Stop going out to lunch with her. Eat lunch at your desk for a little while if have to. She'll find another person to glom on to and you won't have to deal with her anymore. Worked for me.

I am just like your coworker! How do I stop talking about money?

Anonymous wrote:So, we have someone who has disposable money for the first time, and is excited. She is from North of Buffalo, which according to Google Maps, places her in from either lockport or love canal.

In those areas, 100K is a boat load of money. I went to grad school in upstate NY, and I had no concept of the cost of living when I moved down here.

You, on the other hand, are from Potomac. Being from Potomac, why are you working in a crappy office job?

Hmmmm, maybe you two are talking about the same person?

I know that it's not kosher to discuss money but... I do feel like some people who are new to the area need a primer...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here-

I am not bitter about my circumstances. I used to work in another field and switched to something with fewer hours and less stress/responsibility when I rejoined the workforce after being home with small children for several years.

So do you need to feel superior to her because of your upbringing vs hers and because you know you could do better than being a secretary and she can't? So when she talks about what she buys, you feel you need to cut her down so she doesn't come across as better than you? Because that's kind of how you come across on here

OP, I know people are being harsh but I can kind of understand all this. This woman is not very self-aware. Tons of people on Facebook are not self-aware. They just don't realize how they come across. I am painfully self-aware, to the point where I stay up night after night second guessing myself on everything. I have had to work on this.

As a PP said, you can only control your own reactions to this. It probably feels good to vent. There is not some magical way to tell people how they come across, how they are acting, how they should be acting, what is classy and what is not (that is what DCUM is for!). It's not HS where any straying from the pecking order gets a harsh smackdown and everyone stays in their place.

People will just naturally distance themselves from people that turn them off. People will notice or they will remain oblivious. It is what it is. Just try to do other things instead of hanging with coworker who turns you off. Focus on work. Do errands during lunch. Distance.

+1

OP, I feel your pain. In my 20s I worked as an MCPS teacher. I come from a reasonably wealthy family. I routinely receive nice gifts from my mother and grandmother on birthdays & holidays. I also collect checks from a family trust. But I don't talk about it. Ever. A clueless girl at work (from a small town) used to constantly ask me where I got certain articles and how much they cost! I, of course, felt uncomfortable and would say stuff like oh I don't remember or this was a gift. She talked about shopping and her grandiose lifestyle goals constantly and would awkwardly compare herself to me...
While at a holiday party, she had a few drinks and admitted she had $60k in credit card debt. I think she expected me to console her by saying I had debt too...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here-

I am not bitter about my circumstances. I used to work in another field and switched to something with fewer hours and less stress/responsibility when I rejoined the workforce after being home with small children for several years.

So do you need to feel superior to her because of your upbringing vs hers and because you know you could do better than being a secretary and she can't? So when she talks about what she buys, you feel you need to cut her down so she doesn't come across as better than you? Because that's kind of how you come across on here

OP, I know people are being harsh but I can kind of understand all this. This woman is not very self-aware. Tons of people on Facebook are not self-aware. They just don't realize how they come across. I am painfully self-aware, to the point where I stay up night after night second guessing myself on everything. I have had to work on this.

As a PP said, you can only control your own reactions to this. It probably feels good to vent. There is not some magical way to tell people how they come across, how they are acting, how they should be acting, what is classy and what is not (that is what DCUM is for!). It's not HS where any straying from the pecking order gets a harsh smackdown and everyone stays in their place.

People will just naturally distance themselves from people that turn them off. People will notice or they will remain oblivious. It is what it is. Just try to do other things instead of hanging with coworker who turns you off. Focus on work. Do errands during lunch. Distance.

Anonymous wrote:OP here-

I am not bitter about my circumstances. I used to work in another field and switched to something with fewer hours and less stress/responsibility when I rejoined the workforce after being home with small children for several years.

So do you need to feel superior to her because of your upbringing vs hers and because you know you could do better than being a secretary and she can't? So when she talks about what she buys, you feel you need to cut her down so she doesn't come across as better than you? Because that's kind of how you come across on here

Anonymous wrote:Are you dripping in designer apparel? Is there a reason she seeks YOU out to talk about shopping? Does she think YOU aren't interested in anything else??

It's not uncommon for people to talk about their own interests even if the other person doesn't share that interest.

Anonymous wrote:Think about how a sociopath would handle this situation. And then do that. But only if it doesn't't hurt anyone.

LOL This sums up much DCUM advice. Well done.

Are you dripping in designer apparel? Is there a reason she seeks YOU out to talk about shopping? Does she think YOU aren't interested in anything else??

Anonymous wrote:Humor her and don't let it get to you. Who cares if she lives in a fantasy world where she is rich? You can't control others but you can control your reactions.

This. I'd feel bad for her. Maybe you can encourage her to go back to school or something.

OP here-

I am not bitter about my circumstances. I used to work in another field and switched to something with fewer hours and less stress/responsibility when I rejoined the workforce after being home with small children for several years.

Who cares? She's not your family member and she's not a close friend. If this weren't touching a nerve it would just roll off your back. It's not your job to fix her or guide her, unless she is asking you for advice. If she continues to go on and on about shopping, etc you could just tell her that you're not really into shopping, or you're saving your money for xyz, etc. but no need to school her.