Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think there is "just compensation" for a life lost. My DH and I have been married for a long time. For much of that time, I have been a "trailing spouse" and have followe DH around for his job. As a result, despite my high level of education, my current earnings are 3/5 of DH. Our marriage has been rather rocky over the past few years. Yesterday, DH told me he is fed up with my demands, wants a divorce and presented me with a draft property settlement and separation agreement. He proposes that I take the current marital residence and he will pay 1/3 of the mortgage for the next three years, at which time I must either refinance it in my name or it will need to be sold and the proceeds split 50/50, with the 50/50 determined as the date of our separation, i.e. I would get any increase in value after the date of our separation. He will keep and move into a rental property we own. It has a smaller mortgage payment and is worth less than the primary residence. He will keep all consumer debt we have accrued. He will keep his retirement, expect for that part of his pension to which I am legally entitled and will provide child support according to the state formula until DC hits college. He also proposes to put $100K in a trust for DC that neither of us will touch.

It basically works out to a 50/50 division of our assets - per VA law. DH, however, is adamant about no spousal support beyond the three years he offers for the mortgage on our primary. However, I think I need something longer term b/c my employment situation never seems to be solid. My lawyer says that my DH offer seems very reasonable and that I should not hold out for long-term spousal support given my education and work experience, even if I am right now on a temporary contract. He says no court in Fairfax will award me long-term support.

What do you all think. I do think my DH owes me more for all I have given up.

Your husband is dividing the assets 50-50 and you want more. What would be an equitable split to you? Do you think you deserve 65 percent of the assets and how much debt do you keep? What exactly do you think you gave up?

I gave up the linear career path that is more normal for people with my educational sick ground. I turned down or was turned down by potetential employers b/c I either had to follow DH or had in their perception too checkered an employment record. People who graduated grad school with me all now earn six figures. I should be earning as much as.my perers. So, DH owes me for the foregone opportunity cost of my traveling with him. I do not even include all the cooking, cleaning, child are etc he has received over the years.

That was your choice.

But she made those choices in the belief that theirs was a lifetime partnership... Although really, OP, is three years not long enough to get your career back on track? What does your lawyer think about the offer?

Anonymous wrote:Here's the Fairfax Co. formula, which the internet says is the standard for nova:

Where child support is not involved:

30% of gross income of spouse with greater income (in calculating gross income; "reasonable business expenses," are deducted, for the self-employed; military spouses should note that their present non-taxable benefits are included in gross income calculations -- i.e., "BAQ, "VHA," "subsistence" allowances, etc.)

minus

50% of gross income of spouse with lesser income.

Where child support is involved:

28% of payor's gross income

less

58% of payee's gross income.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think there is "just compensation" for a life lost. My DH and I have been married for a long time. For much of that time, I have been a "trailing spouse" and have followe DH around for his job. As a result, despite my high level of education, my current earnings are 3/5 of DH. Our marriage has been rather rocky over the past few years. Yesterday, DH told me he is fed up with my demands, wants a divorce and presented me with a draft property settlement and separation agreement. He proposes that I take the current marital residence and he will pay 1/3 of the mortgage for the next three years, at which time I must either refinance it in my name or it will need to be sold and the proceeds split 50/50, with the 50/50 determined as the date of our separation, i.e. I would get any increase in value after the date of our separation. He will keep and move into a rental property we own. It has a smaller mortgage payment and is worth less than the primary residence. He will keep all consumer debt we have accrued. He will keep his retirement, expect for that part of his pension to which I am legally entitled and will provide child support according to the state formula until DC hits college. He also proposes to put $100K in a trust for DC that neither of us will touch.

It basically works out to a 50/50 division of our assets - per VA law. DH, however, is adamant about no spousal support beyond the three years he offers for the mortgage on our primary. However, I think I need something longer term b/c my employment situation never seems to be solid. My lawyer says that my DH offer seems very reasonable and that I should not hold out for long-term spousal support given my education and work experience, even if I am right now on a temporary contract. He says no court in Fairfax will award me long-term support.

What do you all think. I do think my DH owes me more for all I have given up.

Your husband is dividing the assets 50-50 and you want more. What would be an equitable split to you? Do you think you deserve 65 percent of the assets and how much debt do you keep? What exactly do you think you gave up?

I gave up the linear career path that is more normal for people with my educational sick ground. I turned down or was turned down by potetential employers b/c I either had to follow DH or had in their perception too checkered an employment record. People who graduated grad school with me all now earn six figures. I should be earning as much as.my perers. So, DH owes me for the foregone opportunity cost of my traveling with him. I do not even include all the cooking, cleaning, child are etc he has received over the years.

That was your choice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think there is "just compensation" for a life lost. My DH and I have been married for a long time. For much of that time, I have been a "trailing spouse" and have followe DH around for his job. As a result, despite my high level of education, my current earnings are 3/5 of DH. Our marriage has been rather rocky over the past few years. Yesterday, DH told me he is fed up with my demands, wants a divorce and presented me with a draft property settlement and separation agreement. He proposes that I take the current marital residence and he will pay 1/3 of the mortgage for the next three years, at which time I must either refinance it in my name or it will need to be sold and the proceeds split 50/50, with the 50/50 determined as the date of our separation, i.e. I would get any increase in value after the date of our separation. He will keep and move into a rental property we own. It has a smaller mortgage payment and is worth less than the primary residence. He will keep all consumer debt we have accrued. He will keep his retirement, expect for that part of his pension to which I am legally entitled and will provide child support according to the state formula until DC hits college. He also proposes to put $100K in a trust for DC that neither of us will touch.

It basically works out to a 50/50 division of our assets - per VA law. DH, however, is adamant about no spousal support beyond the three years he offers for the mortgage on our primary. However, I think I need something longer term b/c my employment situation never seems to be solid. My lawyer says that my DH offer seems very reasonable and that I should not hold out for long-term spousal support given my education and work experience, even if I am right now on a temporary contract. He says no court in Fairfax will award me long-term support.

What do you all think. I do think my DH owes me more for all I have given up.

Your husband is dividing the assets 50-50 and you want more. What would be an equitable split to you? Do you think you deserve 65 percent of the assets and how much debt do you keep? What exactly do you think you gave up?

I gave up the linear career path that is more normal for people with my educational sick ground. I turned down or was turned down by potetential employers b/c I either had to follow DH or had in their perception too checkered an employment record. People who graduated grad school with me all now earn six figures. I should be earning as much as.my perers. So, DH owes me for the foregone opportunity cost of my traveling with him. I do not even include all the cooking, cleaning, child are etc he has received over the years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think there is "just compensation" for a life lost. My DH and I have been married for a long time. For much of that time, I have been a "trailing spouse" and have followe DH around for his job. As a result, despite my high level of education, my current earnings are 3/5 of DH. Our marriage has been rather rocky over the past few years. Yesterday, DH told me he is fed up with my demands, wants a divorce and presented me with a draft property settlement and separation agreement. He proposes that I take the current marital residence and he will pay 1/3 of the mortgage for the next three years, at which time I must either refinance it in my name or it will need to be sold and the proceeds split 50/50, with the 50/50 determined as the date of our separation, i.e. I would get any increase in value after the date of our separation. He will keep and move into a rental property we own. It has a smaller mortgage payment and is worth less than the primary residence. He will keep all consumer debt we have accrued. He will keep his retirement, expect for that part of his pension to which I am legally entitled and will provide child support according to the state formula until DC hits college. He also proposes to put $100K in a trust for DC that neither of us will touch.

It basically works out to a 50/50 division of our assets - per VA law. DH, however, is adamant about no spousal support beyond the three years he offers for the mortgage on our primary. However, I think I need something longer term b/c my employment situation never seems to be solid. My lawyer says that my DH offer seems very reasonable and that I should not hold out for long-term spousal support given my education and work experience, even if I am right now on a temporary contract. He says no court in Fairfax will award me long-term support.

What do you all think. I do think my DH owes me more for all I have given up.

Your husband is dividing the assets 50-50 and you want more. What would be an equitable split to you? Do you think you deserve 65 percent of the assets and how much debt do you keep? What exactly do you think you gave up?

Anonymous wrote:Do you think there is "just compensation" for a life lost. My DH and I have been married for a long time. For much of that time, I have been a "trailing spouse" and have followe DH around for his job. As a result, despite my high level of education, my current earnings are 3/5 of DH. Our marriage has been rather rocky over the past few years. Yesterday, DH told me he is fed up with my demands, wants a divorce and presented me with a draft property settlement and separation agreement. He proposes that I take the current marital residence and he will pay 1/3 of the mortgage for the next three years, at which time I must either refinance it in my name or it will need to be sold and the proceeds split 50/50, with the 50/50 determined as the date of our separation, i.e. I would get any increase in value after the date of our separation. He will keep and move into a rental property we own. It has a smaller mortgage payment and is worth less than the primary residence. He will keep all consumer debt we have accrued. He will keep his retirement, expect for that part of his pension to which I am legally entitled and will provide child support according to the state formula until DC hits college. He also proposes to put $100K in a trust for DC that neither of us will touch.

It basically works out to a 50/50 division of our assets - per VA law. DH, however, is adamant about no spousal support beyond the three years he offers for the mortgage on our primary. However, I think I need something longer term b/c my employment situation never seems to be solid. My lawyer says that my DH offer seems very reasonable and that I should not hold out for long-term spousal support given my education and work experience, even if I am right now on a temporary contract. He says no court in Fairfax will award me long-term support.

What do you all think. I do think my DH owes me more for all I have given up.

Anonymous wrote:$100K for college will cover 4 years in-state university.

Anonymous wrote:How much debt is there?

He's proposing keeping the apartment AND retirement and splitting the house 50-50? Sorry, that is not a good offer, unless there is a boat load of debt in the picture.

$100,000 for college?