Anonymous
Post 07/09/2014 11:52     Subject: What's the best quality in a husband?
Sorry to be repetitive, but kindness was absolutely the first word that popped into my head.
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2014 11:50     Subject: What's the best quality in a husband?
I think some good traits have correlated bad traits.

A kind gentle man may not have the ruthlessness and killer ambition needed to be very financially successful. The lack of competitiveness might be a part of what makes him kind.
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2014 11:32     Subject: Re:What's the best quality in a husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:BTW, I posted the above on kindness. I feel that in many ways I married the wrong guy particularly on this point. It's more that he completely lacks empathy in pretty much any situation, is flummoxed by emotions (mine, the kids, in a movie), and has a hard time connecting on that level. He also is pretty self minded (I can't get up with the crying baby even though you haven't slept in months as I have to go to work), you get the picture.

I saw it before we married, so shame on me. I am very sensitive, probably overly so, very empathetic so it is a hard match sometimes, but we try to approach it as learning from each other. I love many things about him, but this has been a hard area for us.


+1,000

I could have written this post.

My DH has never cheated, is a good financial provider, is good looking and great in bed. But he's an asshole. He's just not kind and I don't think he even has the capacity to be or knows what it means to be kind. He's just not nice. Like PP's DH, he doesn't even comprehend kindness in others. I saw glimpses of it before marriage, but it's gotten so much worse.

I would trade everything I have to be with a kind man.


I have a kind man. But he's lazy and not so great in bed. You can't have it all.
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2014 11:30     Subject: Re:What's the best quality in a husband?
Generosity - with emotions, time and money
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2014 02:59     Subject: What's the best quality in a husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ability and willingness to do emotional work (eg admit he is wrong).


Ha! Hopefully you do the same.


What a weird response. Of course I do. Are you another man?
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2014 01:22     Subject: What's the best quality in a husband?
Anonymous wrote:I love to see all the ones about integrity. My DW does not appreciate it. Mostly, b/c my sense of integrity does not allow me to do things that in her moral code are OK but in mine they are not. Too bad for her.


Like what?
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2014 22:54     Subject: What's the best quality in a husband?
Gaurdian
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2014 22:41     Subject: What's the best quality in a husband?
Anonymous wrote:Generosity - there's nothing my DH wouldn't do for me if I asked, which is so reassuring!


This 100%. His other wonderful qualities are borne of his generous spirit. He is sweet and kind and funny because he tries to give happiness. Any problems we have, he is willing to put in the work with me. And it is such a comfort to know that he will do anything I ask or need.
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2014 22:37     Subject: Re:What's the best quality in a husband?
Anonymous wrote:BTW, I posted the above on kindness. I feel that in many ways I married the wrong guy particularly on this point. It's more that he completely lacks empathy in pretty much any situation, is flummoxed by emotions (mine, the kids, in a movie), and has a hard time connecting on that level. He also is pretty self minded (I can't get up with the crying baby even though you haven't slept in months as I have to go to work), you get the picture.

I saw it before we married, so shame on me. I am very sensitive, probably overly so, very empathetic so it is a hard match sometimes, but we try to approach it as learning from each other. I love many things about him, but this has been a hard area for us.


+1,000

I could have written this post.

My DH has never cheated, is a good financial provider, is good looking and great in bed. But he's an asshole. He's just not kind and I don't think he even has the capacity to be or knows what it means to be kind. He's just not nice. Like PP's DH, he doesn't even comprehend kindness in others. I saw glimpses of it before marriage, but it's gotten so much worse.

I would trade everything I have to be with a kind man.
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2014 22:29     Subject: What's the best quality in a husband?
Anonymous wrote:Money


Man detected.
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2014 18:38     Subject: What's the best quality in a husband?
Money
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2014 18:25     Subject: Re:What's the best quality in a husband?
Anonymous wrote:Kindness. I think integrity and many other qualities go along with it. If you are kind, you don't cheat on your wife. If you are having a hard time with something, in your kindness you deal with it directly. When you are kind, you are not thinking only of yourself. I don't know many kind, unethical people (can't think of a one).


I like this answer.
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2014 18:24     Subject: What's the best quality in a husband?
I love to see all the ones about integrity. My DW does not appreciate it. Mostly, b/c my sense of integrity does not allow me to do things that in her moral code are OK but in mine they are not. Too bad for her.
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2014 18:23     Subject: What's the best quality in a husband?
Anonymous wrote:Ability and willingness to do emotional work (eg admit he is wrong).


Ha! Hopefully you do the same.
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2014 18:21     Subject: What's the best quality in a husband?
Mental Health.

I can work with anything else.