I'm ignoring most of the PPs since this thread has totally degenerated. If her sex drive is low, please be patient. My sex drive took a nose drive due to hormonal changes and still isn't back. I am 4 months post partum. I have literally NO sex drive, none at all, and for some reason I have a lot of trouble reaching orgasm, even alone. However, I love my husband and don't want to lose him, so I don't tell him that and I muster up what it takes to have sex with him a few times a week. She might have post partum depression. I think you really just need to talk to her and find out what's up. There is medication that can help, etc.

Jerk

Generally speaking, what's a reasonable time line for a man to be patient while a woman regroups after child birth? Three - four months? Absolutely. Ten years? Absolutely not.

Somewhere in between I would expect it becomes reasonable to expect a wife to put forth the effort necessary to jump start her sex drive, recognizing that it's hurtful to expect her husband to remain celibate or nearly so indefinitely because she can't be bothered.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked. Am I the only female that couldn't, and didn't, wait the standard 6 weeks to have sex?

I waited exactly the 6 weeks, after I got clearance from my doctor. I don't get all these wives who selfishly bail on the marriage once they have a kid.

Bc oftentimes it isn't for selfish reasons. It's hormones, it's feeling touched-out having a baby on you (and your boob) all day, it's being exhausted, it's having a birth-related injury that needs to heal, it's feeling self-conscious from the body changes of pregnancy and childbirth, it's <gasp> other women having many experiences that differ from your own that also feel equally valid. Congrats on wanting to get right back to it -- glad that happened for you -- but don't knock other women by calling them selfish bc they have a harder road returning to their former drive.

Everything's not all about you though, or the baby. You forget about the husband at your own peril. Look at that baby and think: Do I want to raise him in a broken home? Eventually men who don't have sex in their marriage leave it.

Fortunately, I didn't marry a dirtbag, and the year or so postpartum doesn't equate to a sexless marriage forever. We made a decision to have a child together and he got it that I went through physical, hormonal and emotional changes he would never have to experience in order for us to build our family. We got back to it, eventually, but not bc I felt pressured or fearful that my husband would stray. I'm sorry if you didn't have/ offer the same support in your relationship.

OR, he discreetly had it elsewhere and you live in your bubble.

I LOVE hearing stories about spouses learning their DH cheated, especially when they couldn't fathom that. She had him "under control" and he was "very understanding" about infrequent and boring sex. "He has learned to live without blowjobs because he loves me." DUMB.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked. Am I the only female that couldn't, and didn't, wait the standard 6 weeks to have sex?

Ha nope! We barely made it 3 weeks and DH was getting multiple blow jobs a week. I was so thorny, it was insane. Only time in our life DH has ever turned me down. I was wanting it multiple times a day for months!!

How dare you suggest women try and please their men instead of just suggesting they spank it (but, you know, not to porn, because porn is degrading)!

+1 These women are hilarious

There is no logical man who thinks a woman doesn't need healing time after pregnancy. However, 1, 2, 3, MORE YEARS later and the excuses are still flying? These women are now useless as anything other than mothers/play-date schedulers. Lovers and women you want to fuck? Not anymore. These excuses are terrible.

Then they'll get on dating sites after the divorce and pretend to be vixens again until the next sucker bites.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked. Am I the only female that couldn't, and didn't, wait the standard 6 weeks to have sex?

Ha nope! We barely made it 3 weeks and DH was getting multiple blow jobs a week. I was so thorny, it was insane. Only time in our life DH has ever turned me down. I was wanting it multiple times a day for months!!

How dare you suggest women try and please their men instead of just suggesting they spank it (but, you know, not to porn, because porn is degrading)!

+1 These women are hilarious

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked. Am I the only female that couldn't, and didn't, wait the standard 6 weeks to have sex?

Ha nope! We barely made it 3 weeks and DH was getting multiple blow jobs a week. I was so thorny, it was insane. Only time in our life DH has ever turned me down. I was wanting it multiple times a day for months!!

How dare you suggest women try and please their men instead of just suggesting they spank it (but, you know, not to porn, because porn is degrading)!

Maybe you aren't sexy enough. What have you been doing to keep yourself looking good and contributing to domestic responsibilities?

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked. Am I the only female that couldn't, and didn't, wait the standard 6 weeks to have sex?

Ha nope! We barely made it 3 weeks and DH was getting multiple blow jobs a week. I was so thorny, it was insane. Only time in our life DH has ever turned me down. I was wanting it multiple times a day for months!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked. Am I the only female that couldn't, and didn't, wait the standard 6 weeks to have sex?

I waited exactly the 6 weeks, after I got clearance from my doctor. I don't get all these wives who selfishly bail on the marriage once they have a kid.

Bc oftentimes it isn't for selfish reasons. It's hormones, it's feeling touched-out having a baby on you (and your boob) all day, it's being exhausted, it's having a birth-related injury that needs to heal, it's feeling self-conscious from the body changes of pregnancy and childbirth, it's <gasp> other women having many experiences that differ from your own that also feel equally valid. Congrats on wanting to get right back to it -- glad that happened for you -- but don't knock other women by calling them selfish bc they have a harder road returning to their former drive.

+1. What an unbelievably immature response.

+2. This is not about being selfish. Everything PP listed above applied to me. My wonderful DH was very supportive and patient. I did get my groove back, but it took a while. I was frustrated for both our sakes at how long it took, but DH was great. He did lots of sensual, not sexual things (back/neck stroking, etc.) and when I was slightly less sleep deprived, I was happy to give BJs to DH when I didn't feel like my body was up for it.
We made it through and things are great now.

If you can't deal with normal, post-baby changes, get a vasectomy or wrap that thing up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked. Am I the only female that couldn't, and didn't, wait the standard 6 weeks to have sex?

I waited exactly the 6 weeks, after I got clearance from my doctor. I don't get all these wives who selfishly bail on the marriage once they have a kid.

Bc oftentimes it isn't for selfish reasons. It's hormones, it's feeling touched-out having a baby on you (and your boob) all day, it's being exhausted, it's having a birth-related injury that needs to heal, it's feeling self-conscious from the body changes of pregnancy and childbirth, it's <gasp> other women having many experiences that differ from your own that also feel equally valid. Congrats on wanting to get right back to it -- glad that happened for you -- but don't knock other women by calling them selfish bc they have a harder road returning to their former drive.

Everything's not all about you though, or the baby. You forget about the husband at your own peril. Look at that baby and think: Do I want to raise him in a broken home? Eventually men who don't have sex in their marriage leave it.

Fortunately, I didn't marry a dirtbag, and the year or so postpartum doesn't equate to a sexless marriage forever. We made a decision to have a child together and he got it that I went through physical, hormonal and emotional changes he would never have to experience in order for us to build our family. We got back to it, eventually, but not bc I felt pressured or fearful that my husband would stray. I'm sorry if you didn't have/ offer the same support in your relationship.

OR, he discreetly had it elsewhere and you live in your bubble.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked. Am I the only female that couldn't, and didn't, wait the standard 6 weeks to have sex?

I waited exactly the 6 weeks, after I got clearance from my doctor. I don't get all these wives who selfishly bail on the marriage once they have a kid.

Bc oftentimes it isn't for selfish reasons. It's hormones, it's feeling touched-out having a baby on you (and your boob) all day, it's being exhausted, it's having a birth-related injury that needs to heal, it's feeling self-conscious from the body changes of pregnancy and childbirth, it's <gasp> other women having many experiences that differ from your own that also feel equally valid. Congrats on wanting to get right back to it -- glad that happened for you -- but don't knock other women by calling them selfish bc they have a harder road returning to their former drive.

Everything's not all about you though, or the baby. You forget about the husband at your own peril. Look at that baby and think: Do I want to raise him in a broken home? Eventually men who don't have sex in their marriage leave it.

Fortunately, I didn't marry a dirtbag, and the year or so postpartum doesn't equate to a sexless marriage forever. We made a decision to have a child together and he got it that I went through physical, hormonal and emotional changes he would never have to experience in order for us to build our family. We got back to it, eventually, but not bc I felt pressured or fearful that my husband would stray. I'm sorry if you didn't have/ offer the same support in your relationship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked. Am I the only female that couldn't, and didn't, wait the standard 6 weeks to have sex?

I waited exactly the 6 weeks, after I got clearance from my doctor. I don't get all these wives who selfishly bail on the marriage once they have a kid.

Bc oftentimes it isn't for selfish reasons. It's hormones, it's feeling touched-out having a baby on you (and your boob) all day, it's being exhausted, it's having a birth-related injury that needs to heal, it's feeling self-conscious from the body changes of pregnancy and childbirth, it's <gasp> other women having many experiences that differ from your own that also feel equally valid. Congrats on wanting to get right back to it -- glad that happened for you -- but don't knock other women by calling them selfish bc they have a harder road returning to their former drive.

Everything's not all about you though, or the baby. You forget about the husband at your own peril. Look at that baby and think: Do I want to raise him in a broken home? Eventually men who don't have sex in their marriage leave it.

Anonymous wrote:My wife does not want to have sex because the baby is always with us, but she also does not want in the free time we have.
though?...

If she chooses to withhold conjugal rights, grounds for divorce.