It sounds like you are on the right track, op. I'm happy to see you and your husband can be so mature and loving in all of this. It is wise to continue saving the extra as you have been doing.

It can serve as a "just in case" fund. Just in case you or your husband become unable to work. Just in case one of you encounters a financial disaster. Just in case any of you has outlandish medical bills. Just in case any number of things we can't imagine and too often aren't prepared for. That must be great peace of mind to know that no matter what happens you have this pad.

Op here. A few additional details...I have most of the money in mutual funds and some in a money market and some in a 529. I know my EX and he is a good guy and wouldn't stop his payments just because I have X amount of dollars saved. He would have to go to court to do such and his income has steadily risen in the past 8 years so I think it would be hard for him to get a reduced payment and I don't see it being a goal of his. I think I am going to refrain from mentioning the accounts but offer to split high school and do 1/3rd of college. His legal obligation is all of high school and 66 percent of college so its somewhat of a "deal" for him. Thanks for the advice. As for this is "too much" money for my daughter it was a very simple math equation that the courts used and that he never put up a fight against and I don't think it makes my daughter less entitled to it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't tell. If you spend that money now it won't be there for the future. He appears to be rolling in money anyway.

ya giving someone 86k a year in cash is insane. like NO ONE deserves that.

My friend gets 25k/mo and deserves that. Her ex ran off with a 22yr old...no joke. He was a horrible serial cheater and even frequented hookers. Why does he deserve to make enough to buy the 22yr old a new range rover and leave his first wife and kids out?

I'm glad he's getting raked over the coals. He's just fine, he makes well over 7 figures. 25k/mo is pocket change.

$25k a month! That is ludicrous. Your friend needs to get a job.

She also got the house which is paid off and enormous and half of retirement savings. She will get the 25k/mo for the next 15 years, which HE pays the taxes on. So she nets 300k/year. Come again? Why does she need a job? She has a job, cashing his checks.

Why would someone getting $300K yr need to get a job?

Wow! Everyone I know that receives child support uses it to supplement their own lifestyle, not their daughters.

If I were you, I'd save that money. 1/3 college, 1/3 wedding and 1/3 downpayment on a home.

Also child support ends at 18, and college starts at 18.

OP take a look at college costs and then talk to a lawyer. It is technically your DDs money, but most parents find that anything extra will be swept away by college expenses.

I agree with everyone who said to talk to a lawyer and see what your options are. I would also suggest that you use money from the child support savings to pay for that lawyer and also for any financial planning / trusts you decide to set up.

Anonymous wrote:It seems like you have a good moral compass (saving this money instead of spending it just because you could, which lots of people do). Speak to you lawyer and see what your legal obligation is. Then make a decision based on what sits right with your gut.

Despite the fact that you are divorced, you and your ex are raising a child together, so I am not sure I would hide this from him.

College tuition without debt is a huge thing you could do with that money which would start your daughter out in life like nothing else would. Also using it for a starter home.

I am sure that you will make a great decision.

+1 This and I agree with the PP who said only you know your Ex.

It seems like you have a good moral compass (saving this money instead of spending it just because you could, which lots of people do). Speak to you lawyer and see what your legal obligation is. Then make a decision based on what sits right with your gut.

Despite the fact that you are divorced, you and your ex are raising a child together, so I am not sure I would hide this from him.

College tuition without debt is a huge thing you could do with that money which would start your daughter out in life like nothing else would. Also using it for a starter home.

I am sure that you will make a great decision.

Anonymous wrote:OP, do your DD a favor and put 1/2 in mutual funds, by 18 and if this amount continues, she'll have 1.5 million. seriously

I would put it in a trust fund with monthly payments starting at 18 and continuing until age 30. She can have the principal at 30.

Gold diggers

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't tell. If you spend that money now it won't be there for the future. He appears to be rolling in money anyway.

ya giving someone 86k a year in cash is insane. like NO ONE deserves that.

My friend gets 25k/mo and deserves that. Her ex ran off with a 22yr old...no joke. He was a horrible serial cheater and even frequented hookers. Why does he deserve to make enough to buy the 22yr old a new range rover and leave his first wife and kids out?

I'm glad he's getting raked over the coals. He's just fine, he makes well over 7 figures. 25k/mo is pocket change.

$25k a month! That is ludicrous. Your friend needs to get a job.

She did get a job, obviously -- the oldest one there is. It just has a great golden parachute when you get "fired."

Actually they met in college when he did not have a pot to piss in. He became widly successful, it went to his head and he ran off with a 22yr old.

You think she should have rolled over And been discarded like an old piece of trash? He makes over 2M/yr. Your DH is one lucky man. II'm suprised if he made over 2M /yr and fucked prostitutes , you'd just let him walk away and buy more range rovers for his little ho.

But is she a ho? She has nothing to do with the marriage and I have heard so many stories in which the guy misrepresented himself "oh, we're getting divorced"; the smear should be entirely on him. How many 22 years can sort through that bullshit? He picked her for a reason.

I would consult the lawyer, but my inclination would be not to tell him about the money. It's hers. Invest it and set up a trust.

I see this as technically your money that as a mother you can use it in the way that you think is best for your child. It could have been used for mortgage, car, food, whatever.

Do not tell DD or ex. Invest it for your DD and keep some cash liquid for emergencies. Let her know about it when she is more mature and earning her own paycheck.

Anonymous wrote:OP, do your DD a favor and put 1/2 in mutual funds, by 18 and if this amount continues, she'll have 1.5 million. seriously

I would seriously consider this! I would invest and see where it would help her out the most for her future. Please do not tell him. The amount he pays I believe decreases or increases based on his income. She could travel, start her own business, pay for house, make more investments....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't tell. If you spend that money now it won't be there for the future. He appears to be rolling in money anyway.

ya giving someone 86k a year in cash is insane. like NO ONE deserves that.

My friend gets 25k/mo and deserves that. Her ex ran off with a 22yr old...no joke. He was a horrible serial cheater and even frequented hookers. Why does he deserve to make enough to buy the 22yr old a new range rover and leave his first wife and kids out?

I'm glad he's getting raked over the coals. He's just fine, he makes well over 7 figures. 25k/mo is pocket change.

$25k a month! That is ludicrous. Your friend needs to get a job.

She did get a job, obviously -- the oldest one there is. It just has a great golden parachute when you get "fired."

Actually they met in college when he did not have a pot to piss in. He became widly successful, it went to his head and he ran off with a 22yr old.

You think she should have rolled over And been discarded like an old piece of trash? He makes over 2M/yr. Your DH is one lucky man. II'm suprised if he made over 2M /yr and fucked prostitutes , you'd just let him walk away and buy more range rovers for his little ho.