OP again- I'm very confidant sexually and was never shy in the bedroom at any size. I'm just recently single and wasn't sure if I should try online dating? I used to weigh 250 and was a size 1-2x back then so I know my sizes and no longer fit into any of the plus size things is own. I've lost a little weight but wasn't sure if I should just continue on that before trying online dating. People always tell me they don't think I'm as heavy as I am, but who would lie about being 215?? I really appreciate the honest replies. Even when they hurt, it's helpful.

You can def do online dating. I used to be 5'7 and 250 and a size 18, or xl / xxl in some dresses (ann taylor, etc). I did not feel good about myself, but I did meet some guys and had a relationship.

I had / have a lot of muscle so did not "look like" 250.

You should go for it! Just make sure there's a body pic on there so they have an idea of what your size is.

Anonymous wrote:OP here- just starting to read the replies, thanks for all the responses! I just wanted to say yes I am a size 14, I wouldn't lie on an anonymous board! I had lipo years ago so as I said I'm curvy and when I gained weight it didn't go back as much to my waist area. My boobs are DDD. Yes think Anna Nicole.

I think this is kind of an issue too. If you had lipo and still weigh 215 lbs, you clearly have some kind of willpower issue. Have you tried losing weight the healthy way in the past?

I would try to lose the weight before online dating. Not because you can't find a man at that weight (you can) but because so few men are attracted to big women that you'll likely have to sacrifice in other areas. You may have to accept someone who is not as educated as you are, or who makes less money than you. If you're ok with that reality, then go for it. But if you want an attractive man whose on your level in regards to finances and education, lose weight first.

OP here- just starting to read the replies, thanks for all the responses! I just wanted to say yes I am a size 14, I wouldn't lie on an anonymous board! I had lipo years ago so as I said I'm curvy and when I gained weight it didn't go back as much to my waist area. My boobs are DDD. Yes think Anna Nicole.

How old are you, OP? I think the answer depends on that.

I'm in your general stats/size space myself, and I'm 47. I attract some interest IRL (never tried online dating), but ONLY from men approx 55+. I can safely say that no single man aged 36-46 has looked at me twice.

I assume that is because single men aged 35-46 can and are dating conventionally hotter women who are younger than they are in most cases. They have no need to data an overweight woman their age if they can "do better."

However, once a guy starts building his own soft gut, and his bald spot grows wider, and his cheeks/chin jowlier and his erection less reliable .... his OWN market value drops and his definition of acceptable women grows, IME. When a guy looks like this, which is to say, "normal for 57," most never-married 35 year old women aren't going to say Yes, please!! Unless he's rich-special, which most men are not.

Your stats sound like my daughters. She is heavy, short and beautiful. And she has a lovely personality (most of the time anyway). She did the online dating thing - and met a wonderful guy. I think she did eHarmony. They have very similar interests - he is not overweight - and he really digs who she is a person.

Anonymous wrote:

Great...now this thread is gonna get mired in bullshit about BMI and what size somebody xx-pounds and xx-height can fit into...
Ughhh

LOL

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the point in questioning what OP says her size is? I am 5'4", so 4 inches shorter than OP. I was a size 14 when I weighed around 200-208. When I dropped below 200, to 190-195, 14's were getting to be too big and I had to move to a 12.

People carry weight differently, and thus fit into different sizes at different weights.

Because she is somewhat delusional about her size. A 14 is overweight but can be within normal BMI, shop at regular stores, etc. OP is obese, and it doesn't make her unlovable or doom her to be alone forever, but she needs to be honest with herself about her size.

If you were 5'4, weighed 195 lbs, and fit into a size 12, I'd like to see a pic.

Yeah, not happening. I really couldn't care less whether you believe me or not. I was in great shape, even at that weight, running 5-6 miles 6 days a week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this as an overweight person.

First of all, if you are 215 lbs at 5'8 you are not a size 14. I'm a 12 and weigh 180, same height.

Secondly - I can't stand when fat women say they have big boobs (again, I do too). Boobs are made of fat. You have big boobs because you are fat.

I don't think it would hurt to start dating - but you have to be realistic about your options. And don't post a pic where you are way skinnier than you are now.

You're not very bright, are you? You understand that people's bodies are built differently, right?

When I was a size 14 (at 5'3"), I was 185. I'm now 130 and a size 4. You don't have to believe me, but I'm pretty I (and OP) know our own bodies better than you.

Seriously. There are lots of different ways that people carry their fat, and the apple type of small boobs and huge belly is a completely different look from the plus-sized hourglass.

Not sure what you're saying - wouldn't the big belly type wear bigger clothes? I'm the PP who doubted her size, and I'm an hourglass.

Yes, the big belly would probably wear bigger clothes. I'm guessing that the OP is more the hourglass as well, since she says she has big boobs. I think it's possible that she wears a 14 in some clothes. Besides, the whole thread is devolving into a debate about sizing, which wasn't the question.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a straight woman, but if I were a guy, I would not. It isn't your weight as much as what your weight says about your lifestyle.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this as an overweight person.

First of all, if you are 215 lbs at 5'8 you are not a size 14. I'm a 12 and weigh 180, same height.

Secondly - I can't stand when fat women say they have big boobs (again, I do too). Boobs are made of fat. You have big boobs because you are fat.

I don't think it would hurt to start dating - but you have to be realistic about your options. And don't post a pic where you are way skinnier than you are now.

You're not very bright, are you? You understand that people's bodies are built differently, right?

When I was a size 14 (at 5'3"), I was 185. I'm now 130 and a size 4. You don't have to believe me, but I'm pretty I (and OP) know our own bodies better than you.

Seriously. There are lots of different ways that people carry their fat, and the apple type of small boobs and huge belly is a completely different look from the plus-sized hourglass.

Not sure what you're saying - wouldn't the big belly type wear bigger clothes? I'm the PP who doubted her size, and I'm an hourglass.

Depends on a few things - if a lot of the weight is in your boobs and butt and if you're sexually confident and aggressive with a pretty face and a sexy dresser, then hell yes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:are you open to dating black men?

I was going to ask the same thing. If you are, you will have not trouble finding dates. Unfortunately, you will have trouble finding SINGLE educated, upper middle class black men in the DC area to date. BTDT. Lost weight, still attract black men which I am open to as long as they are the educated, upper middle class kind.

Edited this a little for ya

Great...now this thread is gonna get mired in bullshit about BMI and what size somebody xx-pounds and xx-height can fit into...
Ughhh