I dated online and did not lie about anything. I'm not interested in dating someone who wishes I was a few years younger, had a different job, whatever. If their criteria is that narrow, then I suspect that's what they want.

My ex lied about his age when we met. Had I known that this was not the one-off he claimed it to be, I would not have continued the relationship. Dishonesty is a character flaw. In the case of my ex, and it seems maybe with you OP, the lie was the result of severe anxiety and insecurities. This was the source of many a lie.

When guys post their real ages in the last line of the profiles, I immediately think, "insecure." I don't care if you look older or younger or your exact age, the reasons for lying about it are not appealing or attractive to me.

Started online dating in my late 30s, and yes, when I turned 40 I knew that meant I was out of many search ranges. Oh well. I look good for my age. I don't look good for a 30 year old!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you are all on the same page and i do agree so i revised my profile to say that i'm actually older than it states and left it at that. i have a recent photo posted as well so they can be the judge if it's about looks. i have a date coming up that i'm really excited about it and he's 9yrs younger (and childless) so may as well come clean now before getting my feelings hurt..

This whole strategy makes you sound stupid and unintelligent, you can't trick someone into dating you.

well i know someone who has done this. two people actually. one lied about having herpes until he told her he loved her (they got married) and the other lied about her age (they are married too).. so it does work.. not the best thing to do but it does work. just sayin'

I look really young for my age. When I do online dating I fib about my age too and exaggerate about my career, education and say I'm looking for marriage, family... Yada yada yada
Everybody does it to elevate themselves and increase prospects, etc. By the third date, if we're not in the sack or I find out her fibs are more baggage than I want to take on then it's time to move on. I know she's laying some similar BS on me. But if I land that girl I'd never get otherwise, it makes it all worthwhile.

Please...everybody lies online. Honesty is practically forbidden in cyberspace lol.

Anonymous wrote:agreed, but men put so much judgement on age. if he doesn't want kids it shouldn't be a huge deal if i tell him soon (i'm hoping)

Yes, but do you really want a guy who would reject you based on age? You're setting yourself up for that and increasing the odds he'll be pissed because you lied.

I am older, and like and dated women my own age and older, but I wanted kids so I was sticking to <40, which is younger than me, but for a reason. I'd be very annoyed by the lie.

Anonymous wrote:Pp again- 10 years is too much lying. 4-5 yes is ok

Disagree. 4-5 years is not any less of a lie. Lying about your age on a dating profile makes one look unhinged, insecure, manipulative and inconsiderate. Is that really what you want to lead with?

Anonymous wrote:No. And someone did this to me before I met DH. I was 22, he said he was 29. He was really 35. I ended it not due to his age, but because someone who is dishonest from the beginning is not someone worth my time. Starting a relationship on a lie is a bad idea.

Very true. And frankly, we do not care about a few years. We do care about whether you are friendly, trustwory, kind, and intelligence.

"If you are sooooo concerned about the search filter thing, to the degree you would blatantly lie about your age, at LEAST put your actual age in the description and explain your rationale for lying."

I've seen guys do that and I think it's a turn-off.

Absolutely not. I am what I am at 35. Sure, we may all only put the positive in representing ourselves, and I may not advertise that I'm a weirdo that feel naked without socks at all times, but at least be honest about the information you DO volunteer to put out there.

Lying screams insecurity, misrepresentation, and makes you wonder what other things the person is lying about. And if a person isn't interested in you because of your age (real, fake, whatever), then they're not worth it anyway.