OP you've gotten a lot of advice here -- also curious was he says if/when you say that he may not get in. Does he just not want to hear it? Or is it an attitude of "I'll figure it out then?" Or something else entirely. Does he have a second favorite school?

OP, what does he say he's going to do if he doesn't get in? If he's saying "of course I'll get in" then I'd say "Great, apply Restrictive Early Action (which is what Stanford has)" and then plan on helping him find other places to apply regular decisions.

On the other hand if he's saying he wants to apply to Stanford, and otherwise he'll take a gap year, then I'd be fine with that. I think that for a kid who doesn't know what he wants, or needs to come to terms with the fact that his first choice isn't an option, a gap year is a great idea. I'd help him find good options for gap years so that if Stanford doesn't come through it will soften the blow.

Anonymous wrote:Friends discuss where they apply with friends. It's weird to me when people keep it top secret. (Junior?)

Some do, some don't. In my group people keep it quiet because they don't want their friends building them up for 4 months with "WHEN I visit you at Harvard . . . " only to not get in and be disappointed. Sure you'd be disappointed either way but it's easier to take when you send in the app and "forget" about it or at least don't talk about it daily. Junior is a way to refer to a hypothetical DS/DD if that's so hard to figure out.

Getting into Stanford is a lottery pick, unless you are Chelsea Clinton or an Olympic athlete who speaks five languages, dug wells in Peru, and started a non-profit. But if you don't play, you can't win.....

Friends discuss where they apply with friends. It's weird to me when people keep it top secret. (Junior?)

Anonymous wrote:I'm 15:46. Now the parents are pushing the students. A close friend aimed too high for her child, claimed the college counselor didn't "get" her child, and of course the child got shut out of every Ivy. Child is a great kid, and claims to be happy with the school he/she is attending, but it was kind of hard to be along for the ride as a close friend. Plus, I think the child feels a bit sheepish about all the rejections.

16:07 here. That's tough. I also don't get why people make this stuff public knowledge. Back a decade ago I kept it to myself that I was applying to the ivys -- I didn't want people telling me they were sorry if I didn't get it; my parents kept it to themselves because they knew a 10% acceptance rate didn't bode well. Now it seems like a lot more people share and "justify" -- oh jr. will get in, he's double legacy and he may only have a 2100 but his HS just doesn't "get" him. That's great but does jr really want everyone's "pity" when he doesn't get in?

I'm 15:46. Now the parents are pushing the students. A close friend aimed too high for her child, claimed the college counselor didn't "get" her child, and of course the child got shut out of every Ivy. Child is a great kid, and claims to be happy with the school he/she is attending, but it was kind of hard to be along for the ride as a close friend. Plus, I think the child feels a bit sheepish about all the rejections.

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how strong students get to thinking that they are Stanford and Ivy material. It's hubristic in this day and age.

+1. I went to one of these schools 10 yrs ago -- it was tough then and even tougher now. I never allowed myself to think I was Ivy material and was surprised to get in. Though it's age old -- there were plenty of students back then who had a 1350 and 3.8/4.0 who thought they were ivy bound and then were shattered when they weren't. Some of this is just the confidence and lack of real world experience that all 17 yr olds go through.

I cannot believe how strong students get to thinking that they are Stanford and Ivy material. It's hubristic in this day and age.

OP,

Here are stats for ED at Ivies and other top schools including Stanford for the Class of 2018.

http://www.hernandezcollegeconsulting.com/ivy-league-admission-statistics-class-2018/

I'd be very clear about the fact that his stats will not stand out to Stanford, but still say he should go for it if that's what he wants. Make it clear that he must apply EA/ED but also have apps ready to go to x number of other match/safety schools because he WILL be going to college in the fall even if it isn't Stanford (if that's how you feel - it's a game changer if you'd be ok with him sitting out a yr).

What is it about Stanford that he wants -- prestige/name recognition, 4 years in CA, that campus, a certain major?

Talk to him about it -- whatever it is, you can help him find it at a school that is more of a match for his stats. I'm always curious when kids say I will only go to x -- because schools are fairly similar across the board and what can be found at x can also likely be found someplace else. Sure the Stanford brand can't be duplicated but there are some mid level schools that also have great name recognition and they may work out better for him.

OP, it's a total crapshoot. There might be something in his application that sparks the interest of a Stanford reviewer. Let him apply EA and then take it from there. Is he by any chance a first generation applicant going to college? Admissions offices get very excited by that (I was a first generation, both to finish college and law school). Just a thought.

First of all, OP you really should make clear that he has almost no chance of acceptance at Stanford. There is not a single thing in his record that stands out. If you encourage this fantasy, he will be disappointed. I've seen this happen.

This is why applications numbers are so high. Parents don't reign in their children. Stanford charges $90 a pop!

Why not put your foot down -- you can ONLY apply to Stanford if you also apply to 1 other safety and 2 other match schools? Are you afraid he's going to say that he doesn't want to even bother with Stanford then? It's fine to have a dream school -- many high school juniors do -- but kids with these kinds of dreams do understand how incredibly hard it is to get in because they know seniors from last year's class who didn't get in. Something sounds off -- either immaturity or it's his way of telling you he doesn't want to go to college but will make an exception for Stanford or his way of telling you that he wants to only be in Cali -- that last one is workable as you can help him find other matches/safeties in Ca.