Anonymous wrote:I'm really surprised that there are so few people who see this as an early opportunity to teach moderate portions. And even more surprised that everyone seems to view moderate portions as a punishment and as laying the groundwork for an eating disorder! I grew up in a family that encouraged eating until overfull, but I only had slender friends whose families never did this - one portion only, and nobody thought anything of it. I struggle with my weight to this day, and none of them do. Well, to each her own!

If a child has eaten a moderate portion, and is then still hungry, but you say, "No, no seconds!" -- well, do you understand why that might lay the groundwork for an eating disorder?

Eating until overfull is unhealthy. But so is not letting your child eat enough, because you are worried about your child being fat.

I'm really surprised that there are so few people who see this as an early opportunity to teach moderate portions. And even more surprised that everyone seems to view moderate portions as a punishment and as laying the groundwork for an eating disorder! I grew up in a family that encouraged eating until overfull, but I only had slender friends whose families never did this - one portion only, and nobody thought anything of it. I struggle with my weight to this day, and none of them do. Well, to each her own!

Anonymous wrote:My son was technically obese at his 3 and 4 year old check-ups. He didn't look overweight (to me, anyway), just solidly built. He has always had a good appetite and has always been a big, strong kid (I do think his heavy weight was due in part to muscle mass--may be the case for your DS as well). His diet was good--lots of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, with occasional treats. I have followed the Ellyn Satter approach of offering healthy food and letting him decide how much to eat. Do not forbid him from having seconds, as that will likely backfire. Just make sure you are offering healthy choices. At 5 my son has thinned out considerably and is no longer "obese" according to his BMI. Sounds like you are doing everything right, so I think if you stay the course everything is likely to work out.

There was an interesting article in the NY Times recently about what to do when you've got one skinny child and one overweight child; the advice was to feed them the same healthy foods and not restrict options for the overweight kid: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/06/16/ask-well-feeding-heavy-and-thin-kids-at-the-same-table/?module=Search&mabReward=relbias%3Ar

Thank you, pp. This is OP. Interesting article and we pretty much follow the advice of the writer of the piece.

I have one kid who eats everything and is probably 10th percentile, and another kid who eats hardly anything and is 90+ percentile. They just have different metabolisms. I'm pretty curious to see how my little chunky child turns out - people say they usually just lean out some. Who knows! I still give him whole milk and full fat yogurt, because I don't think these are what's causing him to be big. There were some studies recently showing that drinking skim milk doesn't correlate w/ being skinny, at least.

My son was technically obese at his 3 and 4 year old check-ups. He didn't look overweight (to me, anyway), just solidly built. He has always had a good appetite and has always been a big, strong kid (I do think his heavy weight was due in part to muscle mass--may be the case for your DS as well). His diet was good--lots of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, with occasional treats. I have followed the Ellyn Satter approach of offering healthy food and letting him decide how much to eat. Do not forbid him from having seconds, as that will likely backfire. Just make sure you are offering healthy choices. At 5 my son has thinned out considerably and is no longer "obese" according to his BMI. Sounds like you are doing everything right, so I think if you stay the course everything is likely to work out.

There was an interesting article in the NY Times recently about what to do when you've got one skinny child and one overweight child; the advice was to feed them the same healthy foods and not restrict options for the overweight kid: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/06/16/ask-well-feeding-heavy-and-thin-kids-at-the-same-table/?module=Search&mabReward=relbias%3Ar

Focus like you are on healthy choices and active bodies.

Anonymous wrote:Thank you PPs. For reference his weight was 36lbs.

My just-turned-3 yo was 42 pounds at his check up and 95th percentile for both height and weight, and his ped didn't say a word about BMI or overweight-and I am not at all worried about his size. One of his older siblings had a similar growth curve (always 90-95th+ percentile) and is now a very tall, healthy 9 yo.

Anonymous wrote:I world not make any changes involving restricting calories to a child based on a single measure, and without talking to a health professional. Kids grow unevenly--could be he outs on the verge of a growth spurt and will be as inch taller in 2 weeks.

This. My mom used to say that she could tell when I was going to shoot up another inch, because I wuold get a big potbelly. A week later, it would be gone. Do not restrict his calories based on something that was automatically printed on a form without talking to your pediatrician first.

Based on what he is eating and the amount of activity he gets, I wouldn't worry at all what one print out tells me.

My son was the same. He gained 1 pound from 3-4 and 1 pound from 4-5. No diet. He went from chubby toddler to skinny. I just kept up with the exercise and variety of foods.

Another note on the guidance in Satter's work -- the thing to be concerned about it not your child's absolute weight but his overall growth chart. If he is growing on a consistent curve, even if it's a high percentile, that is a sign that he is growing appropriately for his body. Deviations from the chart (both sudden gains and sudden drops) are indications of potential problems.

As I mentioned, my daughter has always been large but her ped. once observed that she'd never seen a kid stick so closely to her growth curve. We did have a deviation when I went back to work full-time and DH took over packing lunches. He was putting in way too much carbs (whole bagel every day for a 5 year old) with no protein plus cookies every day. At that year's appt she did bump up above her curve and I took a closer look at what DH was packing for lunch! Fixed that and by the next year she was back on her usual growth trajectory. And appetite doesn't have a lot to do with the growth curve/percentile -- my very large daughter has a fairly small appetite. But, she's growing into the body she is genetically programmed to have.

Anonymous wrote:Mine was 29 lbs at one year, then 30 lbs a year later (she thinned out a lot when she started walking), but since then she's been consistently in the 80th percentile and above. She was at risk for overweight, but she's been slowly slimming down since then, and the BMI has gone down. We try to limit her sweets and juices, but I also try to encourage her to be really active. Dad's family tends to be heavy for their height (but not fat) and I'm athletic but not skinny for mine. (5'8", 150.) so she was never going to be thin.

Our son was 28 pounds at 1 year, 30 pounds at 2 years and 31 pounds at 2.5. He is now 38 inches too. I have no idea what his BMI is but I know he went from a HUGE baby to a typical preschooler. We didn't do anything. Just keep offering DC healthy food and lots of activities. Don't make sweets evil but definitely not an every day thing. Moderation. Sounds like you are on a fine path.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I don't advocate putting him on a diet - just having him eat what his siblings eat. And no seconds. Seconds are always a bad idea and a recipe for overweight.

I think that this is terrible advice.

OP, it sounds to me like you're doing everything right. I wouldn't worry. (Well, actually, I would worry. But that's just because I do worry, not because the worry is justified!)

Ditto. Read Ellyn Satter, particularly "Your Child's Weight: Helping without Harming". It sounds like you are doing great with feeding a healthy diet, lots of activity, and occasional sweets so they aren't forbidden foods. Restricting his food (esp. while not doing so for siblings!) will set him up for lots problems. He may find his size and appetite settled down to a more average point as he grows. Or he may always be larger than his brothers. If he's active and healthy, that's fine! Kids don't all have to look the same.

I also wouldn't pay much attention to BMI at this age -- those charts are crazy. My daughter is large for her age -- 95%ile in both height and weight, i.e. she's perfectly proportional. She looks like a tall, strong girl and definitely not overweight. But the BMI chart labels her as overweight. Her very experienced pediatrician says she's fine and ignore BMI.

http://www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/

Anonymous wrote:
I don't advocate putting him on a diet - just having him eat what his siblings eat. And no seconds. Seconds are always a bad idea and a recipe for overweight.

I think that this is terrible advice.

OP, it sounds to me like you're doing everything right. I wouldn't worry. (Well, actually, I would worry. But that's just because I do worry, not because the worry is justified!)

Anonymous wrote:change your thinking about what "overweight" actually means and how it happens. You child will end up with an eating disorder if you start "limiting" healthy food.

No. This sort of relativism and normalizing of what has always traditionally been considered "overweight" is one of the key reasons for the current obesity epidemic. We all know what overweight is. Shifting the definition to avoid dealing with a very difficult problem isn't the answer.