I'm of the opinion that if a child is too young to go to a birthday party by themselves, they are too young to go. I've invited siblings only when my kids were friends with my child.

OP, my husband travels for work and is gone a lot of weekends. I just can't see paying a sitter to watch the baby so my preschooler can go to a birthday party. We skip most parties and I have explained to my preschooler that this is just one of the ways that our family is different because of daddy's job. He doesn't seem to care much and we try to host a lot of playdates so that he doesn't feel left out. I don't think that you should bring an uninvited sibling to a party, but birthday parties are just not important enough for us to rearrange our weekend and take on the expense of a sitter. We also don't have big birthday parties for our kids, just family and a few close friends.

I never bring uninvited guests, but have to say that I'm always bummed out reading these things. I know a few moms in real life who complain about paying for siblings, and these are moms who live much more extravagantly than we do. So I find it interesting that so many on this list are citing poverty as the reason. Hey, host whoever you want, but something makes me suspect that most of you on this list aren't limiting sibs because you're indigent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why? Because your siblings cost the host money. And your presumption that they should be included is incredibly rude. The party isn't for your convenience.

If you can't afford a few extra 2 year olds, maybe you shouldn't be hosting a party.

Wow, really? I invited 14 kids in my DC's class to the party recently. I also invited siblings, which added an extra 10 kids! They didn't all
come, but that would have nearly doubled the amount of attendees.

We had DS's 2nd birthday party at an indoor play place last year and we had addressed the invitation only to the invited child. We had 3 families bring older siblings without letting us know. The kids were school-aged and changed the tone of the party by playing in a school-aged way in the ball pit and on other equipment (not that that's a bad thing, but very different than how 2 year olds play). The parents did not step in at any point. I'm not in any way anti-sibling but for all 3 families both parents attended the party so it's not like childcare was an issue for the uninvited child that day.

Anonymous wrote:I only have one child but will soon have another. If my husband can't help me for some reason either taking one child or staying home with sibling, I will just decline the invitation. I certainly will NOT hire a sitter for this.

I think the hostess is right btw and I don't think siblings should be automatically invited just because it is not a drop off party. That can get pretty expensive soon with with the average kid having 1 sibling and lots having 2 sibling nowadays.

That said, I will also spend a ton of money for a preschooler b-day party:

Gift: $15.00
Sitter 3 hours (2 hours party and 1 hour travel time): anything between $30.00 and $45.00

Total: $45.00-$60.00
Yeah, not happening.

I'm right above you saying I would never bring a sibling (or anyone who wasn't invited) to a party. On the occasions where I haven't dropped my DD off and asked someone else to keep an eye on her, I've left the baby with a neighbor or friend. I don't formally pay a baby sitter. When my neighbor watches the baby for 2 hours, I bring her a little cheesecake or some flowers as a thank you. It's no big deal, just like when I watch their dog for the day.

My primary goal in having preschool parties was to get to know the families of my child's friends, so just inviting the child didn't make a lot of sense to me. Our invites were always addressed to "Johnny and family". But I also believe that as guests one should respect the wishes of the host, so if an invite was phrased differently, and I didn't happen to have an only child, I would have either RSVP'd no, or figured out childcare.

Anonymous wrote:I only have one child but will soon have another. If my husband can't help me for some reason either taking one child or staying home with sibling, I will just decline the invitation. I certainly will NOT hire a sitter for this.

I think the hostess is right btw and I don't think siblings should be automatically invited just because it is not a drop off party. That can get pretty expensive soon with with the average kid having 1 sibling and lots having 2 sibling nowadays.

That said, I will also spend a ton of money for a preschooler b-day party:

Gift: $15.00
Sitter 3 hours (2 hours party and 1 hour travel time): anything between $30.00 and $45.00

Total: $45.00-$60.00


Yeah, not happening.

That should say "I will NOT spend…."

I only have one child but will soon have another. If my husband can't help me for some reason either taking one child or staying home with sibling, I will just decline the invitation. I certainly will NOT hire a sitter for this.

I think the hostess is right btw and I don't think siblings should be automatically invited just because it is not a drop off party. That can get pretty expensive soon with with the average kid having 1 sibling and lots having 2 sibling nowadays.

That said, I will also spend a ton of money for a preschooler b-day party:

Gift: $15.00
Sitter 3 hours (2 hours party and 1 hour travel time): anything between $30.00 and $45.00

Total: $45.00-$60.00


Yeah, not happening.

MY DH works a lot too. I either ask someone to watch the baby or I ask a friend who's going if they can keep an eye on my older kid at the party and then prep them that if they need anything, to ask Larla for help.

Both ways have worked out swimmingly. I would never bring a child to a party who's not invited.

We had a party for my daughter and went over the venue limit because people were just randomly bringing siblings that I didn't even know existed. I didn't realize EVERY kid we invited would come, plus siblings. Usually there's at least one or two that don't show up. My biggest issue wasn't the cost of the siblings, it was the fact that I didn't have enough goodie bags. My invited guests left without them because their Moms knew I was overwhelmed and told me "Don't worry about mine, she doesn't know yet if she got one" and ran out the door so I wouldn't force a goodie bag on them while a random sibling came looking or one. PLEASE if you bring a sibling, let them know ahead of time that they may not receive a goodie bag! You may be able to pay for another child but you can't create a goodie bag out of thin air. Oh, and I even MADE EXTRA goodie bags and there were STILL too many kids for them!

One Parent told me ahead of time and one Parent came with her other child and immediately attempted to pay for him (which I think is the proper etiquette for young children because you can't always help a screaming pre-schooler). We have brought my older daughter, but only when we asked first. It was simply "I am out of town and my husband will have my older daughter. If he can bring her we are happy to pay for any extra incurred cost." If they'd said no, we would have 1) found a sitter and if that didn't work out 2) just not gone to the party. It is rude to bring more people than are expected. People don't necessarily have homes that can accommodate a bunch of other children and some people honestly do not have the money. I don't get why that's weird.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why? Because your siblings cost the host money. And your presumption that they should be included is incredibly rude. The party isn't for your convenience.

If you can't afford a few extra 2 year olds, maybe you shouldn't be hosting a party.

And if you can't afford a sitter, maybe you shouldn't go to parties.

I've invited siblings in the past, but I can see at a place like Bounce U how you could easily go over the kid limit if you included siblings.

They dynamic really changes. Remember the parenting books that say "number of guest = age of child?" So years old, 6 guests? Maybe you want to include the class so 18-20 guests. That is plenty of people to keep up with when they are very young. Now lets double that for the no babysitter crowd. OK 40 guests. That's not a birthday party, that's an kid event... And then if you are paying for them, that double the price...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why? Because your siblings cost the host money. And your presumption that they should be included is incredibly rude. The party isn't for your convenience.

If you can't afford a few extra 2 year olds, maybe you shouldn't be hosting a party.

That's rude and silly. Almost every child in my class has a sibling. 20 extra children is hardly a few.

In my DD's class of 15, there are a total of 21 siblings. So, you're saying if I can afford a party for 15 kids, but not 36 kids, my DD shouldn't have a party? Or what if it is just that we feel a party for 15 would be pleasant and enjoyable but a party for 36 would be hectic and crazy?