"Do you people really want to have kids growing up and going off to college or off to the working world with no expectation of ever having to be on the hook for deliverables, for getting things done on their own, no accountability or responsibility?

Talk about not preparing kids for life in the real world..."

Except there's absolutely no proof that doing homework in lower elementary grades is going to lead to this outcome. Plus, its not developmentally appropriate.

Do you people really want to have kids growing up and going off to college or off to the working world with no expectation of ever having to be on the hook for deliverables, for getting things done on their own, no accountability or responsibility?

Talk about not preparing kids for life in the real world...

Talk with the headmaster/teachers. It is better for the kids to do homework themselves without parental help. Better for everyone.

Signed ... a teacher & parent!


It's MY KID. If MY KID asks for help from me, then MY KID should get help.

While I get your concept, you are going on the premise that all teachers can teach. I have three teenagers, one college-aged, one senior, and one 8th grader. I'm here to tell you that all teachers cannot teach. Some should not be teaching at all. So I will continue to help MY CHILD when he/she asks for help.

Oh my, such drama. Your kid needs to learn to meet their obligations and you need to let them learn how that is done. Your kids are plenty old enough to complete their homework without adult help. You are doing them no favors helping kids who are old enough to help themselves.

As for your accusation that teachers can't teach, you have no way to know this. What you do know is your child doesn't understand the material. You don't know why. The teacher might be fine, or might be bad, but you don't know. All you know is your kid doesn't get it. Or at least that is what your kid is telling you.

Let them be responsible for themselves. Let them make appointments with their teachers for extra help. Stay out of it.

Helicoptering doesn't help your kid.

I agreed with the poster that said my job is to get my child to be an independent learner. There is a point when the child will need to admit that there is something they don't understand, try to seek out answers on his/her own (someone I know mentioned her middle schooler doing a group Skype with friends to figure out how to solve a math problem) and make an appointment to get extra help from the teacher/resource available to assist. A obviously there is a difference between the amount of support for kindergarten versus an 8th grader. There are also articles about when you should let your kid fail/live with the consequences.

I liked the poster that gave a list of things they do to support the homework process. I have a rising 5th grader and after taking on a lot of pushing her to do homework and school projects getting done at that last minute stressing everyone out, I said no more. I'm figuring out how to teach her the organizational skills she needs and first semester I will help break everything down etc, After that I will make sure we have a routine where she has time to do those things and I will check the online grades/assignment completion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The argument that if you send your child to school with incorrect homework or partially done and the teacher will somehow realize they are not getting to the student and they need to change the lesson plan is a false one. Lets say there is a class of 28 students (being modest) and half of them come to class with the incorrect homework or its partially done. Do you really think the teacher is going to have time to go over the assignment the next day or the day after when they have a structured lesson plan to get through? I stated earlier todays teachers do not have the luxury of creating their own plans and meeting with children who need the extra time to get through a tough lesson.

Case in point--- my child had math homework where they had to find the perimeter of an object. My wife and I told our son how to do it but he insisted we were wrong and the teacher was right. He went to school with the work done the way we told him (although mad as hell). Another kid in his class also came to school with the same homework where his parents told him the teacher was wrong. Guess what--------the teacher was wrong!!!! Now if both set of parents didn't help their kids, the kids would have had the homework wrong and learned how to find the perimeter the incorrect way. So you have to help them. My son writes reports the teacher doesn't even grade. So how is he to know or we as parents to know how he is doing? You know how----because my wife and I help him write. Both of us are well educated and highly skilled parents so we know how to write correctly. If I leave for the teacher, he wouldn't know how to write. Your claim that its not rocket science is from an adults point of view. To a child it is rocket science hence the reason they are having issues and need help.

+1

I just can't believe how parents are just willing to relinquish their role in helping educate their children and just leave it to the school and teachers to do so. Is it any wonder why kids are doing so badly in school with this sort of attitude?

Sure, it is the easy way out and then when kids don't do well at school and in standardized tests, let's blame the school, the quality of teachers and the need for more funding. How about parents playing a role in helping their kids maximize their academic potential?

Plus 1M. The parents with the attitude that it is the teacher's responsibility to ensure their kids learn are selfish and are really shirking their responsibility.

Anonymous wrote:
The argument that if you send your child to school with incorrect homework or partially done and the teacher will somehow realize they are not getting to the student and they need to change the lesson plan is a false one. Lets say there is a class of 28 students (being modest) and half of them come to class with the incorrect homework or its partially done. Do you really think the teacher is going to have time to go over the assignment the next day or the day after when they have a structured lesson plan to get through? I stated earlier todays teachers do not have the luxury of creating their own plans and meeting with children who need the extra time to get through a tough lesson.

Case in point--- my child had math homework where they had to find the perimeter of an object. My wife and I told our son how to do it but he insisted we were wrong and the teacher was right. He went to school with the work done the way we told him (although mad as hell). Another kid in his class also came to school with the same homework where his parents told him the teacher was wrong. Guess what--------the teacher was wrong!!!! Now if both set of parents didn't help their kids, the kids would have had the homework wrong and learned how to find the perimeter the incorrect way. So you have to help them. My son writes reports the teacher doesn't even grade. So how is he to know or we as parents to know how he is doing? You know how----because my wife and I help him write. Both of us are well educated and highly skilled parents so we know how to write correctly. If I leave for the teacher, he wouldn't know how to write. Your claim that its not rocket science is from an adults point of view. To a child it is rocket science hence the reason they are having issues and need help.

+1

I just can't believe how parents are just willing to relinquish their role in helping educate their children and just leave it to the school and teachers to do so. Is it any wonder why kids are doing so badly in school with this sort of attitude?

Sure, it is the easy way out and then when kids don't do well at school and in standardized tests, let's blame the school, the quality of teachers and the need for more funding. How about parents playing a role in helping their kids maximize their academic potential?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk with the headmaster/teachers. It is better for the kids to do homework themselves without parental help. Better for everyone.

Signed ... a teacher & parent!

It's MY KID. If MY KID asks for help from me, then MY KID should get help.

While I get your concept, you are going on the premise that all teachers can teach. I have three teenagers, one college-aged, one senior, and one 8th grader. I'm here to tell you that all teachers cannot teach. Some should not be teaching at all. So I will continue to help MY CHILD when he/she asks for help.

You can stop screaming at me. I don't claim that kid belongs to anyone else.

Our school explicitly states that homework is for the kid and if they can't do it they are to talk with the teacher the next day - no shame in it. Of course, a little guidance here and there from a parent is fine. But if parents significantly coach the kids on homework, how can the teachers know whether their lessons are successful and the kids are learning as a result. It is not rocket science.

As for your claim that there are rotten teachers out there - have you spoken with them? With the headmaster? I think a lot of times, the parents don't understand why the homework was given or what it is intended to do, and a brief chat with the teacher would clear up a lot. Feedback from parents to teachers is essential if homework is becoming stressful. That is definitely not what the teacher wants.

Stop feeling persecuted and start talking with the teacher and helping the kid become independent.

The argument that if you send your child to school with incorrect homework or partially done and the teacher will somehow realize they are not getting to the student and they need to change the lesson plan is a false one. Lets say there is a class of 28 students (being modest) and half of them come to class with the incorrect homework or its partially done. Do you really think the teacher is going to have time to go over the assignment the next day or the day after when they have a structured lesson plan to get through? I stated earlier todays teachers do not have the luxury of creating their own plans and meeting with children who need the extra time to get through a tough lesson.

Case in point--- my child had math homework where they had to find the perimeter of an object. My wife and I told our son how to do it but he insisted we were wrong and the teacher was right. He went to school with the work done the way we told him (although mad as hell). Another kid in his class also came to school with the same homework where his parents told him the teacher was wrong. Guess what--------the teacher was wrong!!!! Now if both set of parents didn't help their kids, the kids would have had the homework wrong and learned how to find the perimeter the incorrect way. So you have to help them. My son writes reports the teacher doesn't even grade. So how is he to know or we as parents to know how he is doing? You know how----because my wife and I help him write. Both of us are well educated and highly skilled parents so we know how to write correctly. If I leave for the teacher, he wouldn't know how to write. Your claim that its not rocket science is from an adults point of view. To a child it is rocket science hence the reason they are having issues and need help.

Anonymous wrote:The point to homework is for the child to repeat what they learned at school, memorizing it better and really making it their own. If parents help with homework that benefit is lost. If the homework is so difficult the child can't do it on their own, then the teacher needs to see that as well. Don't help your child with their homework. Sure, sit with them and help them go through it, help them complete it - but don't help them find answers etc. If they don't know something, leave it the way it is. If they make mistakes, leave them the way they are. That's what homework is for. It's a way for teachers to see how well children understand what they have been taught. You make this impossible if you help children with homework.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asian parent here: helping my children with their homework - not doing it for them - is part of my responsibility as a parent.

My parents did it for me, their parents did it for them.............

I want my children to excel to the best of their ability. Homework is part of that process.

Now flame away about tiger moms, etc!

Its just a different philosophy. My job is to teach my children to be independent learners, how the system works, how to get help from the teachers, how to study, how to learn that each teacher is different and 1/2 the battle is just figuring out what the teacher wants.

Homework is their job, not mine and if they don't get it they need to figure out how to get it without mom's help.

My kids are plenty independent but I don't leave them to sink or swim when it comes to homework. Yes, homework is something they need to do and my job is to guide them when they need the guidance, make sure they focus on their studies and get a handle on what areas they need more support whether from the teacher or from us or from a tutor.

Perhaps there is an element of philosophical difference but it is less than you may imagine. Lessons of discipline when it comes to studying, completing homework and seeking to excel are all values that are inculcated when children are young. The hope is that these values will stand them in good stead when they go to college.

The point to homework is for the child to repeat what they learned at school, memorizing it better and really making it their own. If parents help with homework that benefit is lost. If the homework is so difficult the child can't do it on their own, then the teacher needs to see that as well. Don't help your child with their homework. Sure, sit with them and help them go through it, help them complete it - but don't help them find answers etc. If they don't know something, leave it the way it is. If they make mistakes, leave them the way they are. That's what homework is for. It's a way for teachers to see how well children understand what they have been taught. You make this impossible if you help children with homework.