Anonymous
06/05/2014 13:31
Subject: Re:My husband just revealed to me that his dad is an alcoholic
As others have suggested- Al Anon.
OP- your story is not unique, you are not alone. The only thing you can control is YOU. Go to Al Anon. You can suggest/encourage your husband to go as well, although I'd recommend different meetings. But you can't make your husband do anything either. Go to meetings, listen, share if you want, and build up your own support network.
Don't be afraid. Don't be ashamed. If its not for you, you're only out an hour of your time and maybe a buck you throw in the hat. Try it, you may be very happy you went.
OP- your story is not unique, you are not alone. The only thing you can control is YOU. Go to Al Anon. You can suggest/encourage your husband to go as well, although I'd recommend different meetings. But you can't make your husband do anything either. Go to meetings, listen, share if you want, and build up your own support network.
Don't be afraid. Don't be ashamed. If its not for you, you're only out an hour of your time and maybe a buck you throw in the hat. Try it, you may be very happy you went.
Anonymous
06/04/2014 22:52
Subject: My husband just revealed to me that his dad is an alcoholic
Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me like you have the right instincts in this matter. Don't keep the secret.[/quoteAnonymous wrote:I'm worried about alcoholism being genetic. I'm worried about the fact that my husband thinks it's okay to keep secrets. I'm worried that my husband is asking me to keep this secret, which is blatantly obvious to most people. I also am worried that my husband would use our son as a pawn to coerce his dad into getting help. I think our son should have a relationship with his grandfather, even if he is sick and can't be left alone with him. I don't agree in giving my FIL an ultimatum or cutting him off from our kids. Seriously I'm wondering why my husband kept this from me and why he is asking me to cover it up. I also think his dad is the only person who can get help. I don't know what to do. If you have an alcoholic family member, how do you encourage them to get help without being coercive or judgmental? How do I talk to my husband about this secret and regain his trust? I've never had anyone lie to me about something like this. I also think burying your hand in the sand and wishing the problem away won't help his dad or the family.
I think all of your feelings and thoughts are very valid.
Secrecy is a hallmark of families with alcoholics.