Anonymous wrote:It's not possible for me. I'm either working or spending time with my kids. Fortunately, my nanny is amazing and totally helps out with meal prep (or full meals), cleaning and the kids laundry. We also have a housekeeper once a week. Makes life much more pleasant for all of us and i'm able to enjoy balancing work + home time when I'm not stressed about taking care of every detail of running the house. When DH and I worked full time (long hours) and had my DD#1 in daycare (no nanny), we were a complete disaster. I was overweight, sedentary, house was a mess, unkempt, and never cooked. I am in awe of people who can make the schedule work and still take care of all of the chores as well. I had to hire good help.

I cut back my hours and work only 45 hours a week, and only 35 to 40 of them in the office.

If I started a thread asking people to post their favorite weekday recipes, would people contribute? or does such a thread already exist? this is the thing i struggle with most as a working mom (whose husband does very little around the house, but thats a separate issue). when i try to cook in bulk, it never freezes well.

I have pretty much no commute, and the option to WFH whenever I want, which I take advantage of about 2 days a week.

I've posted this before, but here is my work out schedule that gets me exercising 6 days a week:

-Monday Treadmill or Insanity before kids wake, I do all kids related drop offs.
-Tuesday/Thurs: at gym by 5:45AM with personal trainer for an hour. DH does all kids stuff.
-Wednesday: same as Monday
-Friday OFF
-Saturday: at the gym, whole family goes, we are there by 8 or 8:30
-Sunday: we have a HS aged sitter that comes every Sunday morning for 1.5-2hrs and DH take a long run, bike, or gym depending on the weather.

For cooking healthy? DH and I eat paleo, so there is no option other than cooking healthy. I make meal plans and prep on Sundays/Mondays. I'm pretty good at it. My children eat healthy as well, but I do not make them do paleo. However, if there are chicken nuggets, on the menu, they are made fresh by me out of tenders. I don't order them pizza, I make it (tons dough I've made from scratch sitting in the freezer. If pizza is on the plan for Friday, I take the dough out on Monday).

BTW, I have two kids. the older one is often running TWO sports a season, so for instance we've had 3 sports this spring all going at the same time. Even on heavy practice nights, I plan an easy meal that can be cooked and consumed in the 45min window we might have at night before we have to be somewhere.

I have a housecleaner come weekly. DH is in charge of laundry, trash, yard, and dishes. I do everything else.

All in all, we are extremely organized and I wake at 5AM and go to bed NLT 9:30PM and again, I don't have a commute more than 15min and get to WFH when I choose.

DH and I both work outside the home. I am a teacher and he is in sales, although luckily he doesn't have to travel much. One child who is almost 3. DH does most of the shopping and I supplement with quick Trader Joes or Whole Foods runs.

Cooking is much easier for us when the weather is nice because we grill a lot. DH grills while I make a salad or roast some veggies. Dinners are simple. If we get home late, it's breakfast for dinner. Scrambled eggs, toast and fruit. We eat out or get takeout 1-2x/week. Usually 1 weekday and 1 weekend night. DH usually picks DS up from daycare, so I try to make it home before them to get dinner started.

We try to keep on top of tidying daily, so there's not a huge amount to do all at once. When we moved to our current house, we got rid of a lot of our clutter and try to keep the clutter out of the house. We have lots of baskets and bins for specific things so there is always a place for everything. We hire a cleaning service monthly for a deep clean. Sometimes DH takes DS to his weekend classes by himself (we usually go together) so I can do bigger projects like cleaning out/organizing closets.

I do a load of laundry almost every night after DS goes to bed. However, the clean laundry goes right into our guest bedroom, which I call our laundry holding room. It piles up there until the weekend when DH and I fold it all while DS naps.

Working out has been tough. My goal is to work out outside the home 2x/week. One day a week I go in to work early so that I can leave work on time and take a class right after work. I take the 2nd class on a weekday morning while DH takes DS out to breakfast. That doesn't happen if we have birthday parties or playdates though. I try to supplement with weights at home and we take long walks together on the weekends. I need to increase my workout schedule.

After dinner, I usually take DS to the playground while DH cleans up dinner. DS goes to bed at 8pm, I make lunch for the next day and then DH and I tidy up and then we do some work while we watch TV. I try to make 9:00-10:00 just relaxation time before bed because I just really need that downtime. If I'm really tired, I'll just go to bed at 9:30.

There is very little pure downtime, but we get through it by not sweating the small stuff. We only get a few hours a day with DS during the week, so we don't use that time for chores. When I get caught up thinking about chores (I can tend to be a clean freak), I try to think big picture and how I'll feel years from now about how I chose to spend my time. That usually helps me to keep my perspective when I feel stressed by everything I *could* be doing.

It's not as bad as many make it sound if you can earn enough to outsource some stuff. Workout - child are at gym, cleaning - cleaning lady weekly, everyone picks up after themselves every evening, I haven't cleaned a floor or bathroom in ages, lawn - outsource, cooking - I love to cook, I meal plan on Sunday, then shop and prep what I can. We eat healthy, real food every night. If you like stews and roasts, u can easily use the crock pot. The key is to be organized, plan ahead and if you can afford it, outsource a bit.

Let's have a round of applause for the SAHM/OP's realization that being a working mom is (shocker) tough!

First off: if you can get a job where you can leave at 4 and pick up the kids at 4:30, then you will be far better off than most moms who get home later.

Yes, it is tough to cook a gourmet meal when you have to schlep kids to sports, etc.

Laundry is easy... Takes two seconds to run a load. You'll quickly learn that folding is overrated.

Mom of four here: I haven't formally worked out since law school. But lots of folks work out in gyms at work.

Workout over lunch at work.
Pay our after school nanny to come for a few hours every day before she picks up the kids from school. She does all family laundry, runs errands, some grocery shopping, starts dinner prep during that time.
Hired gardeners
Both of us have time-flexible jobs so we stay home with kids if they're sick or there is a schedule conflict, and we volunteer at the school regularly
We both pitch in about equally with chores
Kids pitch in with chores

We are pretty happy and relaxed as a family. I feel very lucky. I think it takes time to find the right schedule. We had lot of years where we were sorting it out.

Anonymous wrote:Cleaning service every other week.

Husband cooks weeknights.

I do kitchen clean up and laundry after dinner. Husband does his own laundry.

I haven't figured out how to fit in exercise on a regular schedule. I do walk most days at lunch. But that's not really the same.

That was me - I started with getting in two workouts a week. After a couple months, when that was routine, added a third. Now I do five and it doesn't seem like a strain, schedule wise. Start with one if you need to, but going to the gym 3-4 times a week sounds so daunting if it's not part of your routine already1

DH travels 80% for work, Monday through Thursday. I work FT.

Gym at lunch, before work Friday, and/or weekends. I get five workouts in, hell or high water.

I don't cook every day. I cook for a few days on the weekend and plan meals to put leftovers to use. That carries us to Thursday. Friday I cook something really simple (not hard to put a healthy dinner on the table in 30 minutes or so), or reheat something from the freezer. We eat takeout probably 1-2 times a month. Always keep some kind of frozen veggies, so I can whip up a quick stir fry and put some rice in the rice cooker.

Cleaning service twice a month. Kids (and husband)need to get used to you not picking up after them. If you have a cleaning service and a good dishwasher, cleaning shouldn't take more than 20 minutes a day or so.

DH handles all the laundry when he's not traveling. During the week it just piles up.

We only have one kid, we both work FT out of the house and my H's job is very inflexible leaving most weekday child things to me.

Cook - I do dinner prep while DD is eating since it will be 2+ hours until H comes home and he and I can eat. Mostly I do something on the grill so I create a marinade for the next night's dinner and set the dish to marinate overnight, then I chop and prep that night's veggies.

Clean - whatever time I have leftover after dinner prep I use to clean the kitchen up. Then I have one smaller task on my list to do each night after H gets home and is putting DD to bed (or now, after I workout), usually it's clean one of the 3 toilets and sinks, take out the recycling if it's trash day, or sweep the kitchen/foyer/hallway downstairs. The heavy lift cleaning (dusting, vacumming, mopping, yard work) is left for the weekends and we divide and conquer while she naps.

Workout - Ha. I got out of that habit when DD was born. At nearly 4 I'm just picking it back up again. I am trying to go jogging 3-4 times a week for 30-40 minutes. So I go Saturdays/Sundays and Friday mornings since that's the one day a week my H can help with pick up/drop off at daycare and then I pick one night during the week and suck it up and do it while he's putting her to bed and I get him to cook whatever dinner I prepped for that night. I have also been getting up 15 minutes early every day to do abs before I have to get DD and myself out the door to daycare and work.

Anonymous wrote:Then you and he need to hire some help.

No she doesn't. She will just need to work harder.

I work 40 hours, do drop off and pick-up, and cook 100% of the time my husband is out of town. Do laundry 3-4 times a week, clean floors daily, bathrooms twice a week, etc. It's really not that hard you just have to manage your time well.

When DH is in town he cooks, and that is always a treat but for the majority of the time I do it all. Millions, maybe billions, of people all over the world do it.

I do drop off and pick up bc DH works long hours in DC and leaves too early and gets home too late. we leave the house at 7:30, and get home at 6:15. Dinners are quick (chicken, rice, pasta... we're working on it). DS picks up his own toys. I pick up everything else, sweep and do dishes and clean the kitchen after the kids go to bed, but the house is not super organized. Laundry gets done on the weekends, but is piling up quickly right now. Vacuuming is done on the weekends, and deep cleaning is rarely done. My workouts consist of running, which I do on the weekends with the kids in a double stroller. Kids are 2.5 and 7mos.

i cook every 2-3 days at around 9 pm when kids are in bed. I make salad every day that takes 5 minutes. I clean the kitchen and living room every night, the kids are responsible for the play room, and I have bi weekly housecleaner. DH does laundry, I put it away. DH takes out the trash. I work out 3/week during lunch hour, grocery shop after work.

First, your expectation that you will get to leave your job at 4pm may be a bit ambitious. Its possible to find, but often really hard to do in practice. Just something to keep in mind as you are job searching (some offices tend to be more supportive of earlier hours than others).

Second, honestly, of the things you mentioned, some weeks, something gets put on the back burner. Some weeks I have easy menus or do more take-out. Some weeks, I don't get as many workouts in, and sometimes my house isn't cleaned for awhile.

To help
- meal planning is key. Know what you are making and know what you need to do the night before or the morning before to pull it off. For nights with activities, you need to plan a super fast meal, a crockpot meal, or something you can make before and heat up.
- Cleaning - when I'm at my best, I schedule it in bits and pieces. At my worst, I ruin my weekend. If possible, break it down into smaller tasks and do a little every day (dust, vacuum, clean bathrooms, clean kitchen).
- Work out - when possible at lunch at work; or after my son goes to bed.

What often gives is sleep. If you don't need a lot of sleep you will be fine. If you need a lot, its pretty much impossible unless you hire a cleaning service and start using lots of convenience foods.

It's not possible for me. I'm either working or spending time with my kids. Fortunately, my nanny is amazing and totally helps out with meal prep (or full meals), cleaning and the kids laundry. We also have a housekeeper once a week. Makes life much more pleasant for all of us and i'm able to enjoy balancing work + home time when I'm not stressed about taking care of every detail of running the house. When DH and I worked full time (long hours) and had my DD#1 in daycare (no nanny), we were a complete disaster. I was overweight, sedentary, house was a mess, unkempt, and never cooked. I am in awe of people who can make the schedule work and still take care of all of the chores as well. I had to hire good help.