Time to make the move to classic or travel.

Anonymous wrote:how about emailing parents only (i.e. excluding the coaches) and asking everyone to remind their player to show respect and effort?

Nope. That message should come from the coaches.

how about emailing parents only (i.e. excluding the coaches) and asking everyone to remind their player to show respect and effort?

Coach here:

1. Coaching from the sidelines is disruptive and may make things worse. Also, if it's not your own child, it would definitely be a bad idea. However, if you're available and it would be possible, maybe you could sign up as another coach.

2. Speak to the coach, but just affirm that you've noticed some difficult behaviors and that your son wants to be there and learn. Basically, a message of support. The coach has noticed too. These kids are being disrespectful and likely continue their blatant disrespect to the coach's face.

3. Encourage your child to keep doing the right thing and behave in a respectful fashion.

Anonymous wrote:Gosh some of you coaches are so sensitive.

Unless you've coached before, you have no idea how thankless it can be. If you want to help, then talk to the coach between practices/games and offer to help. Sign up to coach next year. But don't try to direct/affect practice. Be positive, yell encouragement, cheer for a good play, but let the coaches do their job. If you don't like how they're running practice, then take steps to do it yourself next year.

Coaching young kids is like herding cats and more often than not, parents don't help situations.

Gosh some of you coaches are so sensitive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:If it's your kid screwing around then talk to your kid AFTER practice. If you are close enough to the parents then talk to the parents AFTER practice. If enough kids are paying attention then there will be less of a problem.

We coaches have a hard enough time teaching the kids how to play the game and dealing with the few that are disruptive , we don't need parents to be disruptive too.

Nailed it TSFG.

I disagree. I coach in the 'minors' (9-10 yos) and have had numerous practices where there were too few coach/assistants to players. Not every parent is able to get out and assist with coaching for a lot of reasons. At the practices I don't have as much assistance as I'd like, the boys may start messing around, especially when they're in the dugout. I have no problem with a parent appropriately telling them to settle down/pay attention/keep their hands to themselves/etc. If a parent is inappropriate, I will address it with that parent. These boys are a lot of fun but do require re-direction at times and I can't be on top of them all the time. I'd much rather have a parent step up and re-direct the boys than to have them or their kids complaining about how I'm not coaching. If one kid in particular is problematic, I'll take it up his parent.

The difference is you have kids in the dugout and while I'm not saying out of sight out of mind, there is a difference between the kids screwing around in the dugout and not learning something at that moment and trying to teach a running play where the entire team is on the field. Think more like when you have the entire team in the field and they are working on shagging ground balls.

I think you missed the point: he isn't objecting to reasonable help from a respectful parent who has offered help and then been engaged and helpful. He's objecting to annoying, meddlesome parents. We all know the kids who behave worse when their parents are around. We all know those parents who complain (and complain in front of their kid) about the coach and just make things worse. I managed a kids soccer team. I worked with the coaches on sideline management. Note, I worked WITH the coaches.

I'm the PP you're responding to. I don't think I'm missing his point. I don't need a parent to come to me ahead of time and tell me they will remind the boys goofing off that they need to pay attention. I expect parents to do that. I can't be monitoring the behavior of every kid every moment. If a parent sees players doing something they shouldn't, parents should step up and say something to them. I don't care if it's their kid or not. We're adults, we know what is expected of players and sometimes the players need a reminder. Parents especially need to speak up if players are behaving inappropriately - it happens sometimes and better to stop immediately. Again, if it's done appropriately, I'm fine with it. If not, I will address it with the parent. With the reactions of some people here, I can understand why others are reluctant to say something to the players but I do appreciate assistance in keeping the kids focused.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:If it's your kid screwing around then talk to your kid AFTER practice. If you are close enough to the parents then talk to the parents AFTER practice. If enough kids are paying attention then there will be less of a problem.

We coaches have a hard enough time teaching the kids how to play the game and dealing with the few that are disruptive , we don't need parents to be disruptive too.

Nailed it TSFG.

I disagree. I coach in the 'minors' (9-10 yos) and have had numerous practices where there were too few coach/assistants to players. Not every parent is able to get out and assist with coaching for a lot of reasons. At the practices I don't have as much assistance as I'd like, the boys may start messing around, especially when they're in the dugout. I have no problem with a parent appropriately telling them to settle down/pay attention/keep their hands to themselves/etc. If a parent is inappropriate, I will address it with that parent. These boys are a lot of fun but do require re-direction at times and I can't be on top of them all the time. I'd much rather have a parent step up and re-direct the boys than to have them or their kids complaining about how I'm not coaching. If one kid in particular is problematic, I'll take it up his parent.

I think you missed the point: he isn't objecting to reasonable help from a respectful parent who has offered help and then been engaged and helpful. He's objecting to annoying, meddlesome parents. We all know the kids who behave worse when their parents are around. We all know those parents who complain (and complain in front of their kid) about the coach and just make things worse. I managed a kids soccer team. I worked with the coaches on sideline management. Note, I worked WITH the coaches.

I think more rec teams should involve the parents especially in the younger years. My kid played kidball t-ball and rec t-ball and the rec t-ball was a joke. There was no way the two coaches could keep all those kids in line and the kids barely learned anything. In kidball, the parents help out for the first part of the class catching and hitting with their child. Then the kids practice with each other, but the parents are still there to help catch balls that go past them. The coach has several meetings with just the group and him to teach them new skills too. Then the third part of the class, the kids play a game where just the coach gives instruction and the parents aren't involved. It's a great combination and my kid learned something about several positions and how to hit and catch easily thrown balls. Also like that the games and practices are the same day and time every week.

Anonymous wrote:

ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:If it's your kid screwing around then talk to your kid AFTER practice. If you are close enough to the parents then talk to the parents AFTER practice. If enough kids are paying attention then there will be less of a problem.

We coaches have a hard enough time teaching the kids how to play the game and dealing with the few that are disruptive , we don't need parents to be disruptive too.

Nailed it TSFG.

I disagree. I coach in the 'minors' (9-10 yos) and have had numerous practices where there were too few coach/assistants to players. Not every parent is able to get out and assist with coaching for a lot of reasons. At the practices I don't have as much assistance as I'd like, the boys may start messing around, especially when they're in the dugout. I have no problem with a parent appropriately telling them to settle down/pay attention/keep their hands to themselves/etc. If a parent is inappropriate, I will address it with that parent. These boys are a lot of fun but do require re-direction at times and I can't be on top of them all the time. I'd much rather have a parent step up and re-direct the boys than to have them or their kids complaining about how I'm not coaching. If one kid in particular is problematic, I'll take it up his parent.

ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:If it's your kid screwing around then talk to your kid AFTER practice. If you are close enough to the parents then talk to the parents AFTER practice. If enough kids are paying attention then there will be less of a problem.

We coaches have a hard enough time teaching the kids how to play the game and dealing with the few that are disruptive , we don't need parents to be disruptive too.

Nailed it TSFG.

If it's your kid screwing around then talk to your kid AFTER practice. If you are close enough to the parents then talk to the parents AFTER practice. If enough kids are paying attention then there will be less of a problem.

We coaches have a hard enough time teaching the kids how to play the game and dealing with the few that are disruptive , we don't need parents to be disruptive too.

that's very unfair. Although he got up on his high horse a bit, I know several coaches who would agree with him -- if you want to help out then volunteer, not sit on the sidelines and snipe a the way the unpaid, volunteer coaches are doing their jobs.

It sounds like you're carrying around some unresolved baggage - and projecting it on others. I don't recall a single post that was criticizing or sniping at the coach. The posts all seem to acknowledge the challenge a coach has and people want to help. I wouldn't have any problems with someone telling kids to stop messing around. I have a huge problem with the parent who can't stop coaching his kid from the sidelines. Big difference.

My husband has coached t-ball and baseball for years, starting with 4 year olds, and moving up as our son got older. He would totally welcome any and all help, in the form of parents actually getting out into the field and keeping kids on track. On so many teams parents will drop off their 4, 5, or 6 year old and dissapear, or talk on their cell phone, or chat with other parents, and not help at all. You can get the other parents together while the coach is out there coaching the kids and say, "hey, our kiddos look like they are having a hard time staying focused. What can we do to support coach?" Get the parents to agree to correct their own kid, and have a few parents ask the coach before each practice whether they can help out, and then act accordingly.