Anonymous
04/22/2014 01:06
Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:At my daughters school I see a lot of very sweet white women get shoved, hit, and yelled at and yanked by their (I assume) kids. It's rough rough behavior where ladies are getting hurt. By like four and five year olds, and up from there. They are often very upset over what seems to be stuff moms do--like telling them to tie a shoe or get a backpack. I often am so horrified I want to say something, but I have been biting my tongue. Is this a white thing? I live in a middle income neighborhood. I am not trying to get racist here but I don't feel comfortable asking anyone I know who might have insight about these situations.
I couldn't resist.
See how easy that is?
You should have resisted. Parody is not your strong suit.
Anonymous
04/22/2014 00:26
Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous
04/21/2014 23:13
Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It is a poor thing because poor parents are almost always overwhelmed with stress and stress over health, bills and shelter can cause you to do crazy thing. Poor people don't have the resources for therapy to deal with domestic abuse, drug violence etc.
As someone who grew up so poor we faced homelessness and the constant threat of CPS intervention I despise ignorant comments lile this. Pppr does not equal shitty parenting.
Get a clue. Many poor mothers know how to cope without being violent to their children. Many people are poor due to poor decisions and it often spills into all aspects of their lives.
No one said all poor people treat their children badly. All that was said that poor people are prone to a lot of stress. People under severe stress lose coping mechanisms or never even learn them--eg: teen moms; moms from abusive homes; moms on drugs; moms facing homelessness. If you can't understand this, then you are the one who is ignorant.
Why are so many rich people abusive towards their domestic workers? Behind closed doors.
Citation, please.
Extensive first hand observation. No, I will not post for you the names nor addresses of households where I have observed this common occurance. So sorry. The fact remains, abusers are both rich and poor. You may check with any domestic violence unit, even in your own enclave.
Anonymous
04/21/2014 23:11
Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:At my daughters school I see a lot of very sweet white women get shoved, hit, and yelled at and yanked by their (I assume) kids. It's rough rough behavior where ladies are getting hurt. By like four and five year olds, and up from there. They are often very upset over what seems to be stuff moms do--like telling them to tie a shoe or get a backpack. I often am so horrified I want to say something, but I have been biting my tongue. Is this a white thing? I live in a middle income neighborhood. I am not trying to get racist here but I don't feel comfortable asking anyone I know who might have insight about these situations.
I couldn't resist.
See how easy that is?
Love it!
Anonymous
04/21/2014 23:11
Subject: Black moms and hitting
I am too lazy but if you could do a search and find posts in various places here on DCUM from those who say they are AA and that physical punishment is the norm and expected as well as things about black moms being scary because they are know to be hit when angry.
Anonymous
04/21/2014 23:02
Subject: Black moms and hitting
Conceptually, authoritarian parenting would be expected to relate to child abuse risk, supported by empirical research that observational indices of authoritarian parenting are associated with child abuse potential scores (Haskett et al., 1995).
Source: http://libres.uncg.edu/ir/uncg/f/C_Rodriguez_Parent_2010.pdf
Source: http://libres.uncg.edu/ir/uncg/f/C_Rodriguez_Parent_2010.pdf
Anonymous
04/21/2014 22:58
Subject: Black moms and hitting
Kids get yanked, snatched, smacked, pinched, etc. all the time down South no matter the race or SES.
Anonymous
04/21/2014 22:58
Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It is a poor thing because poor parents are almost always overwhelmed with stress and stress over health, bills and shelter can cause you to do crazy thing. Poor people don't have the resources for therapy to deal with domestic abuse, drug violence etc.
As someone who grew up so poor we faced homelessness and the constant threat of CPS intervention I despise ignorant comments lile this. Pppr does not equal shitty parenting.
Get a clue. Many poor mothers know how to cope without being violent to their children. Many people are poor due to poor decisions and it often spills into all aspects of their lives.
No one said all poor people treat their children badly. All that was said that poor people are prone to a lot of stress. People under severe stress lose coping mechanisms or never even learn them--eg: teen moms; moms from abusive homes; moms on drugs; moms facing homelessness. If you can't understand this, then you are the one who is ignorant.
Why are so many rich people abusive towards their domestic workers? Behind closed doors.
Citation, please.
Anonymous
04/21/2014 22:58
Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It boils down to parenting styles, discipline techniques and social norms for different groups. Not all poor people spank/beat kids and not all rich people spare the rod.
Is this an AA thing? OP, To suggest treating a child this way is something black moms do because of your exposure in your low income neighborhood is as narrow minded as the suggestion that all people who live in trailers are abusive.
+1
Parenting styles? What an amazing comment. So the mom I saw who practically yanked her 3y/o son's arm out of the socket so she could slap him in the face 3x while calling him a faggot for wanting to hold his sister's purse is just exercising the latest parenting method?
It's abuse.
Not sure what's so amazing about my comment. Just because it's abusive doesn't make my statement less true.
Flawed as it is, it's still her style of parenting. Definitely of her method of correction/discipline, and possibly her social norm. And she very likely was raised that way so it is a learned behavior. Doesn't excuse it.
Child abuse is not a parenting style, whatever your color is. It's a crime. Stop trying to make excuses for it.
There are both positive and negative/unhealthy parenting styles.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting_styles
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21287963
Anonymous
04/21/2014 22:57
Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It is a poor thing because poor parents are almost always overwhelmed with stress and stress over health, bills and shelter can cause you to do crazy thing. Poor people don't have the resources for therapy to deal with domestic abuse, drug violence etc.
As someone who grew up so poor we faced homelessness and the constant threat of CPS intervention I despise ignorant comments lile this. Pppr does not equal shitty parenting.
Get a clue. Many poor mothers know how to cope without being violent to their children. Many people are poor due to poor decisions and it often spills into all aspects of their lives.
No one said all poor people treat their children badly. All that was said that poor people are prone to a lot of stress. People under severe stress lose coping mechanisms or never even learn them--eg: teen moms; moms from abusive homes; moms on drugs; moms facing homelessness. If you can't understand this, then you are the one who is ignorant.
Why are so many rich people abusive towards their domestic workers? Behind closed doors.
Anonymous
04/21/2014 22:55
Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It is a poor thing because poor parents are almost always overwhelmed with stress and stress over health, bills and shelter can cause you to do crazy thing. Poor people don't have the resources for therapy to deal with domestic abuse, drug violence etc.
As someone who grew up so poor we faced homelessness and the constant threat of CPS intervention I despise ignorant comments lile this. Pppr does not equal shitty parenting.
Get a clue. Many poor mothers know how to cope without being violent to their children. Many people are poor due to poor decisions and it often spills into all aspects of their lives.
No one said all poor people treat their children badly. All that was said that poor people are prone to a lot of stress. People under severe stress lose coping mechanisms or never even learn them--eg: teen moms; moms from abusive homes; moms on drugs; moms facing homelessness. If you can't understand this, then you are the one who is ignorant.
It's not a stress thing...it's learned behavior.
Anonymous
04/21/2014 22:52
Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It is a poor thing because poor parents are almost always overwhelmed with stress and stress over health, bills and shelter can cause you to do crazy thing. Poor people don't have the resources for therapy to deal with domestic abuse, drug violence etc.
As someone who grew up so poor we faced homelessness and the constant threat of CPS intervention I despise ignorant comments lile this. Pppr does not equal shitty parenting.
Get a clue. Many poor mothers know how to cope without being violent to their children. Many people are poor due to poor decisions and it often spills into all aspects of their lives.
No one said all poor people treat their children badly. All that was said that poor people are prone to a lot of stress. People under severe stress lose coping mechanisms or never even learn them--eg: teen moms; moms from abusive homes; moms on drugs; moms facing homelessness. If you can't understand this, then you are the one who is ignorant.
Anonymous
04/21/2014 22:51
Subject: Black moms and hitting
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It boils down to parenting styles, discipline techniques and social norms for different groups. Not all poor people spank/beat kids and not all rich people spare the rod.
Is this an AA thing? OP, To suggest treating a child this way is something black moms do because of your exposure in your low income neighborhood is as narrow minded as the suggestion that all people who live in trailers are abusive.
+1
Parenting styles? What an amazing comment. So the mom I saw who practically yanked her 3y/o son's arm out of the socket so she could slap him in the face 3x while calling him a faggot for wanting to hold his sister's purse is just exercising the latest parenting method?
It's abuse.
Not sure what's so amazing about my comment. Just because it's abusive doesn't make my statement less true.
Flawed as it is, it's still her style of parenting. Definitely of her method of correction/discipline, and possibly her social norm. And she very likely was raised that way so it is a learned behavior. Doesn't excuse it.
Child abuse is not a parenting style, whatever your color is. It's a crime. Stop trying to make excuses for it.
Anonymous
04/21/2014 22:50
Subject: Black moms and hitting
And if CPS takes kid from abusive home and places them in a foster system -- child is faced with another system that has an even larger footprint of children like this with violent behavior and perpetual abuse. And potentially abusive foster parents. The older a kid goes into that system the higher likelihood of going to juvenile detention.
Anonymous
04/21/2014 22:46
Subject: Black moms and hitting
Always is.