Anonymous
Post 04/14/2014 11:34     Subject: Re:He is all boy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I say this about my older son because he is such a stereotypical a little boy. Love trucks, construction sites, and dirt.

I don't think it is sexist as all. (Coming from an educated, former "tomboy" mom.)


+1000 And I wouldn't waste one minute retracting it, if the OP approached me to discuss it.


DD loves all of those things, as well as bugs, animals, jumping off of things. Is DD "all boy" too?

It is sexist whether you recognize it or not. You are saying that only certain things are "boy" interests. Boys don't all fit into some stereotypical set of behavior. I wear pants. Am I partially boy?


Get over yourself. You are all purposely obtuse. Ridiculous.
- new poster


I am the original person quoted here... Are you offended if someone is called a "girly girl" too? I just don't get the outrage here. I use this term to describe my son for lack of a better one.

And yes, believe or not, I understand that most people do NOT fall into stereotypes. I am an engineering PhD (my program was 95% men) so I have heard it all...






I think that's a stupid phrase, too.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2014 11:29     Subject: He is all boy
Anonymous wrote:
The fact that you find those "boy traits" unflattering is why school is so hard on boys. Boys really need to do things like run around a lot more than girls do. They naturally swing sticks around too. There is nothing wrong with it. If you look at any playground you can see this. Sure there are girls who will also be running around, but for the most part, boys need WAY more exercise than girls do. They NEED it. If they are forced to sit still, then their inability to do that may be seen as "wild hellion" behavior but that is grossly unfair to them and just shows how little you understand boys. If you forced your DD to run around the same amount to make things even, instead of forcing boys to tone it down, it would be cruel.


PP, do you think it's all nature (or God's design)? None of it has to do with society's expectations and the way we raise children? Because that's not what the science says.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2014 11:28     Subject: Re:He is all boy
Anonymous wrote:I say this about my older son because he is such a stereotypical a little boy. Love trucks, construction sites, and dirt.

I don't think it is sexist as all. (Coming from an educated, former "tomboy" mom.)


It's bigoted. If your son didn't like trucks, would that make him less of a boy?
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2014 11:27     Subject: He is all boy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Agree with you, OP. It's an outdated and sexist comment. But she probably meant well, I suppose.


+1 There's a lot of sexist language covertly built in to our communication ("he's all boy" "don't throw like a girl" etc). I think the best way to change it is to make sure we eliminate it for ourselves so that we're positively modeling for the next generation, and to try to tactfully discourage its use amongst other adults.


+1 I Hate that phrase. It's completely ridiculous. It implies that a boy who doesn't play rough is somehow less of a boy. Or that a girl who does like to play rough and tumble is less of a girl.

No one would tolerate comments that had racist undertones. I don't know why we still tolerate ones with sexist undertones.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2014 11:24     Subject: Re:He is all boy
Anonymous wrote:
Your DD will never be "all boy" but she could be on the "all boy" end of the scale.

I was a die-hard tomboy growing up. I loved bugs, dirt, boy toys and most of all, BOYS. But I didn't realize until I had boys of my own just how much more "all boy" they were than my tomboy self was. Boys are not girls. Girls who wear pants are not "all boy." Accept it.


If the PP's DD can be on the "all boy" end of the scale because she loves bugs, dirt, and "boy" toys, then labeling the ends of the scale "all boy" and "all girl" doesn't make sense.

Actually the scale doesn't make sense anyway. Pink is not the opposite of blue. Trucks are not the opposite of tutus.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2014 11:24     Subject: He is all boy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why, though, are the "all boy" characteristics so negative? Your kid gets called "all boy" when he is behaving like a wild hellion. I know, because sometimes my boy behaved like a wild hellion and was called "all boy." But when he was kind and considerate and brave no one called him all boy. Its crap. For the PP who wondered what to say when a boy is on a rampage and you want to sympathize with the mom...what would you say if it was a girl on a rampage? They do it, too? I'd probably smile and shake my head and say "Kids! They do grow up, though. Would you like some chocolate?"


This. Not only is it based on sexist stereotypes of children, it's really unflattering to boys.


The fact that you find those "boy traits" unflattering is why school is so hard on boys. Boys really need to do things like run around a lot more than girls do. They naturally swing sticks around too. There is nothing wrong with it. If you look at any playground you can see this. Sure there are girls who will also be running around, but for the most part, boys need WAY more exercise than girls do. They NEED it. If they are forced to sit still, then their inability to do that may be seen as "wild hellion" behavior but that is grossly unfair to them and just shows how little you understand boys. If you forced your DD to run around the same amount to make things even, instead of forcing boys to tone it down, it would be cruel.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2014 11:19     Subject: Re:He is all boy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I say this about my older son because he is such a stereotypical a little boy. Love trucks, construction sites, and dirt.

I don't think it is sexist as all. (Coming from an educated, former "tomboy" mom.)


+1000 And I wouldn't waste one minute retracting it, if the OP approached me to discuss it.


DD loves all of those things, as well as bugs, animals, jumping off of things. Is DD "all boy" too?

It is sexist whether you recognize it or not. You are saying that only certain things are "boy" interests. Boys don't all fit into some stereotypical set of behavior. I wear pants. Am I partially boy?


Your DD will never be "all boy" but she could be on the "all boy" end of the scale.

I was a die-hard tomboy growing up. I loved bugs, dirt, boy toys and most of all, BOYS. But I didn't realize until I had boys of my own just how much more "all boy" they were than my tomboy self was. Boys are not girls. Girls who wear pants are not "all boy." Accept it.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2014 11:13     Subject: He is all boy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
It's because life is not black and white. There is a scale, with "all boy" being one end and "all girl" being the other. Most people are somewhere shy of the extremes, some are in the middle and less are on the other ends. It's not that hard to understand.


There is? What is on the "all boy" end, and why is that "boy"? What is on the "all girl" end, and why is that "girl"? Who decided these things? I don't remember being asked to serve on the committee.


Yeah, too bad God didn't ask you to serve on the committee. What a glaring oversight.

Anonymous
Post 04/14/2014 11:12     Subject: Re:He is all boy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I say this about my older son because he is such a stereotypical a little boy. Love trucks, construction sites, and dirt.

I don't think it is sexist as all. (Coming from an educated, former "tomboy" mom.)


+1000 And I wouldn't waste one minute retracting it, if the OP approached me to discuss it.


DD loves all of those things, as well as bugs, animals, jumping off of things. Is DD "all boy" too?

It is sexist whether you recognize it or not. You are saying that only certain things are "boy" interests. Boys don't all fit into some stereotypical set of behavior. I wear pants. Am I partially boy?


Get over yourself. You are all purposely obtuse. Ridiculous.
- new poster


I am the original person quoted here... Are you offended if someone is called a "girly girl" too? I just don't get the outrage here. I use this term to describe my son for lack of a better one.

And yes, believe or not, I understand that most people do NOT fall into stereotypes. I am an engineering PhD (my program was 95% men) so I have heard it all...






I'm agreeing with you.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2014 11:10     Subject: Re:He is all boy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I say this about my older son because he is such a stereotypical a little boy. Love trucks, construction sites, and dirt.

I don't think it is sexist as all. (Coming from an educated, former "tomboy" mom.)


+1000 And I wouldn't waste one minute retracting it, if the OP approached me to discuss it.


DD loves all of those things, as well as bugs, animals, jumping off of things. Is DD "all boy" too?

It is sexist whether you recognize it or not. You are saying that only certain things are "boy" interests. Boys don't all fit into some stereotypical set of behavior. I wear pants. Am I partially boy?


Get over yourself. You are all purposely obtuse. Ridiculous.
- new poster


I am the original person quoted here... Are you offended if someone is called a "girly girl" too? I just don't get the outrage here. I use this term to describe my son for lack of a better one.

And yes, believe or not, I understand that most people do NOT fall into stereotypes. I am an engineering PhD (my program was 95% men) so I have heard it all...




Anonymous
Post 04/14/2014 10:58     Subject: He is all boy
Anonymous wrote:Why, though, are the "all boy" characteristics so negative? Your kid gets called "all boy" when he is behaving like a wild hellion. I know, because sometimes my boy behaved like a wild hellion and was called "all boy." But when he was kind and considerate and brave no one called him all boy. Its crap. For the PP who wondered what to say when a boy is on a rampage and you want to sympathize with the mom...what would you say if it was a girl on a rampage? They do it, too? I'd probably smile and shake my head and say "Kids! They do grow up, though. Would you like some chocolate?"


This. Not only is it based on sexist stereotypes of children, it's really unflattering to boys.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2014 10:49     Subject: Re:He is all boy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I say this about my older son because he is such a stereotypical a little boy. Love trucks, construction sites, and dirt.

I don't think it is sexist as all. (Coming from an educated, former "tomboy" mom.)


+1000 And I wouldn't waste one minute retracting it, if the OP approached me to discuss it.


DD loves all of those things, as well as bugs, animals, jumping off of things. Is DD "all boy" too?

It is sexist whether you recognize it or not. You are saying that only certain things are "boy" interests. Boys don't all fit into some stereotypical set of behavior. I wear pants. Am I partially boy?


You are 13% boy (approximately). Add another 7% if your family owns a lawn, and you mow it. Subtract 8% if you like to bake cupcakes for fun (not money). It's a complicated formula.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2014 10:49     Subject: He is all boy
OP, I notice that simplistic types of people rely on sexist phrasing like this. They aren't very smart. Annoys me as well.

But, yes, your neighbor is probably just parroting it without thinking of all the gender stereotype implications, so I would just ignore it.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2014 10:38     Subject: Re:He is all boy
Yes, I agree gender norming our kids is unfair. But often people just say what seems to them innocuous, commonplace sayings just to have something to say. She is basically telling you she noticed your son and hi. Just say back, "yes sometimes, sometimes not." And then smile. She was trying to be nice.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2014 10:36     Subject: Re:He is all boy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I say this about my older son because he is such a stereotypical a little boy. Love trucks, construction sites, and dirt.

I don't think it is sexist as all. (Coming from an educated, former "tomboy" mom.)


+1000 And I wouldn't waste one minute retracting it, if the OP approached me to discuss it.


DD loves all of those things, as well as bugs, animals, jumping off of things. Is DD "all boy" too?

It is sexist whether you recognize it or not. You are saying that only certain things are "boy" interests. Boys don't all fit into some stereotypical set of behavior. I wear pants. Am I partially boy?


Get over yourself. You are all purposely obtuse. Ridiculous.
- new poster