Anonymous
04/15/2014 11:33
Subject: Help me tell MIL I hate pie
OP, clearly a therapist is in order here, so that you may receive professional help for your PPS (Pie Phobic Syndrome).
If treatment doesn't resolve your issue, I'll volunteer to help you maintain family harmony by texting you my home address, where you can drop off your slice of pie after dinner at your inlaws.
If treatment doesn't resolve your issue, I'll volunteer to help you maintain family harmony by texting you my home address, where you can drop off your slice of pie after dinner at your inlaws.
Anonymous
04/14/2014 19:01
Subject: Help me tell MIL I hate pie
Anonymous wrote:Here's a light one for DCUM: I hate pie (and cobbler and similar fruit-in-a-crust desserts). MIL loves it -- one of her first questions to me when we met, some 8 years ago, was actually "What is your favorite kind of pie?" I told her then, and a few other times early on, that I don't like pie. But I also have picked at it with a smile every time it's served, which is every time we eat with them -- often, weekly -- so she can be forgiven for thinking I like it.
I've decided I'm done: I'm not eating pie anymore. I don't need a different dessert, I just want to abstain without causing a scene or hurt feelings. MIL is one of those people who obsessively asks whether you like something, so a simple "None for me" will get multiple follow up questions.
So, what do I say? And do I say it ahead of the dessert course?
NP here. Hmmm...I think you're wrong, OP. most pies are decidedly NOT light. That's the problem dieters have with pie.
As for what to say, just decline politely "No thanks." If she asks if you like it, rather than say you don't like it/hate it/something negative, just say you don't want to have any pie. You can mentally think "ever again in my life!" but you can just keep that part to yourself. If she pushes, just answer "I'm not interested in having any pie tonight. Thank you." and divert the topic. If there is something else that she can provide you for after-dinner hospitality, then suggest that. In places where I know that it isn't an imposition, I'll sometimes say "No dessert for me, but I would love a cup of tea." Think of what you would do if your 3 year old was being very pushy in public and how you would divert them from the topic and use the same tactics (although not the same topics).
Anonymous wrote:Thank you, I will have a small piece. Then cut it up into tiny bits and eat a few crumbs. leave the rest on the plate. Classic dieters answer and tactic -- so many very slim women do this.
What a waste. I would prefer you politely decline than to take a piece that you have no intention of eating.
For those who keep asking how someone cannot like pie, my wife does not like cooked fruits. She likes fresh ripe fruits, but not cooked. So she just politely declines.
Anonymous
04/14/2014 17:52
Subject: Help me tell MIL I hate pie
OP how about rum pie? Best stuff ever.
OK otherwise just politely decline..or if she insists 18 times, take a slice to go...to go straight down your disposal or trash can.
OK otherwise just politely decline..or if she insists 18 times, take a slice to go...to go straight down your disposal or trash can.
Anonymous
04/14/2014 17:30
Subject: Help me tell MIL I hate pie
Anonymous wrote:Just say you are watching your weight or something. If she serves it to you anyway then just don't eat it. It's a dessert, not a big deal if you don't eat it. She def sounds a little obsessed with the pie though.
Do NOT do this. Bad advice! Do not attract attention to your weight when talking to a MIL.
Anonymous
04/14/2014 17:28
Subject: Re:Help me tell MIL I hate pie
who doesn't like pie?...seriously though just say "no thanks, no sweets for me"
Anonymous
04/14/2014 17:22
Subject: Help me tell MIL I hate pie
MY MIL makes alot of stuff I don't like. She cooks for HER son when she visits, not really for me. But, since I don't cook when she comes, I don't complain in front of her.
I usually say things like: Pies are not my favorite but DH loves it. Or the kids love it. If she says how's the food, I just say, it's good. The End. If it's really good, I would say, this is delicious. MIL are not dumb. If you don't ask for seconds, that means it's not great.
I usually say things like: Pies are not my favorite but DH loves it. Or the kids love it. If she says how's the food, I just say, it's good. The End. If it's really good, I would say, this is delicious. MIL are not dumb. If you don't ask for seconds, that means it's not great.
Anonymous
04/14/2014 16:21
Subject: Help me tell MIL I hate pie
"MIL, as you may recall from years ago, I am one of those odd ducks who just doesn't care for pie. Everyone raves about your pies, so I've enjoyed tasting them to see if I could be converted to finally being a pie lover. Although your pies look absolutely beautiful, after all these years I am still not a pie eater! So I've decided that it would be best for me to pass on taking a slice and instead let the others enjoy it. But please don't stop making pies on my account - truly, the rest of the family enjoys them so much."
When MIL says "why didn't you say something earlier?" you can acknowledge having mentioned it in passing years ago, and not wanting to hurt her feelings because she's so wonderful, but that your pie position remains the same even after years of trying to reform.
If she offers to make another dessert, maybe offer a compromise - only once a month/season/year or whatever, as you know everyone else really does enjoy her pies.
When MIL says "why didn't you say something earlier?" you can acknowledge having mentioned it in passing years ago, and not wanting to hurt her feelings because she's so wonderful, but that your pie position remains the same even after years of trying to reform.
If she offers to make another dessert, maybe offer a compromise - only once a month/season/year or whatever, as you know everyone else really does enjoy her pies.
Anonymous
04/14/2014 16:19
Subject: Help me tell MIL I hate pie
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Saying "I hate pie" means that you think that your preference should trump that of everyone else present who might actually like pie. It basically says - if you keep making something I have told you I hate you are not respecting me and therefore no one should have pie.
Much better to just decline and be polite.
We eat fruit at almost every meal. I would be annoyed if my MIL came in making a proclamation about how she hates fruit, expecting me to no longer serve any fruit when she is in the house.
Did I post this in my sleep?
Anyway, I agree with PP.
I hate my friend's sticky sweet desserts, that she makes even though she knows I don't like overly sugary treats, but hey, it's her house, she has a right to eat her own dessert in her own house.
Anonymous
04/14/2014 16:13
Subject: Help me tell MIL I hate pie
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Saying "I hate pie" means that you think that your preference should trump that of everyone else present who might actually like pie. It basically says - if you keep making something I have told you I hate you are not respecting me and therefore no one should have pie.
Much better to just decline and be polite.
We eat fruit at almost every meal. I would be annoyed if my MIL came in making a proclamation about how she hates fruit, expecting me to no longer serve any fruit when she is in the house.
Did I post this in my sleep?
Anyway, I agree with PP.
I hate my friend's sticky sweet desserts, that she makes even though she knows I don't like overly sugary treats, but hey, it's her house, she has a right to eat her own dessert in her own house.
Anonymous
04/14/2014 15:59
Subject: Help me tell MIL I hate pie
When she offers it, smile and say, "You make the BEST pie I have ever tasted. However, I am going to pass since I honestly do not care for pie. "
Anonymous
04/14/2014 15:47
Subject: Re:Help me tell MIL I hate pie
I swear, I opened this thread thinking it was a euphomism.