Anonymous
04/13/2014 22:09
Subject: How do you every fully trust
Yeah, just keep talking to him, but also realize that it takes a lot of effort on your part. You either trust or you don't. You have history with it, so it's understandable. At the same time, it's not fair for him to pay for what others did to you. Again, you either trust him or you don't.
I was completely blindsided by my ex-wife's infidelity. After everything that's happened, I still maintain that she was the nicest and most sincere person I've ever met. She says that one day she just woke up and wanted to see what else was out there. When there's nothing that drove the other person away, (and that person had no "priors") it's really hard to trust anyone ever again. But you have to if you want to be happy.
I was completely blindsided by my ex-wife's infidelity. After everything that's happened, I still maintain that she was the nicest and most sincere person I've ever met. She says that one day she just woke up and wanted to see what else was out there. When there's nothing that drove the other person away, (and that person had no "priors") it's really hard to trust anyone ever again. But you have to if you want to be happy.
Anonymous
04/13/2014 13:15
Subject: Re:How do you every fully trust
i never fully trust. i trust conditionally.
Anonymous
04/11/2014 22:24
Subject: How do you every fully trust
22:22 here. It didn't mean to sound sexist. I would never let myself be financially dependent on anyone, man or woman.
Anonymous
04/11/2014 22:22
Subject: How do you every fully trust
You can't ever fully trust anyone. I'm not talking just about marital situations.
I used to be very naive about this, but I've just witnessed too many instances of men and women who seem like they would NEVER be duplicitous or cheat or betray do pretty horrible things, turn on people, cheat, betray.
It's why I would never let myself be financially dependent on a man. I'm willing to get financially entangled, such that it would still be bad if we got divorced, but I would never put myself in a position where I couldn't support myself if I had to.
I used to be very naive about this, but I've just witnessed too many instances of men and women who seem like they would NEVER be duplicitous or cheat or betray do pretty horrible things, turn on people, cheat, betray.
It's why I would never let myself be financially dependent on a man. I'm willing to get financially entangled, such that it would still be bad if we got divorced, but I would never put myself in a position where I couldn't support myself if I had to.
Anonymous
04/11/2014 22:09
Subject: Re:How do you every fully trust
Anonymous wrote:OP my best advice for you is to trust your intuition on this. It is hardly ever wrong.
If your gut is telling you that something is off, that something just doesn't feel right anymore, then something probably is.
You have taken a step in the right direction by talking openly to your husband and he seemed temporarily receptive, however things always go back to the status quo sooner or later.
I wouldn't waste any time and energy "checking up" on him. It would be using energy that should be used in a more positive manner, most especially toward your young children.
Since your husband is not coming clean regarding what he is possibly up to + you have no actual proof, it is entirely up to you how you will handle it.
What really concerns me the most about your situation is that you come to your husband w/a marriage concern, he acknowledges or seems to at least, the issue, then a few weeks later he tends to forget about it. It doesn't seem to me like working out your marriage issues is very high on his priority list.
And that is not a sign of a healthy marriage in my opinion. Perhaps that is what needs addressing here...Before you get to finding out whether or not he is cheating on you.
Good Luck.
+1
Most people cheat for a reason. Work on the marriage and the cheating, if there is any, might stop.